with this and have not been ugly, kept him from the kids, ect. If I have to call out there for anything- she wont say anything to me-screens calls or if the phone gets picked up by someone at the house- she will say im in the shower or dodges me. Also now my ex when we talk about the kids hes fine but if he says anything and (like im looking for a new job) and i say you'll make it or encourage him he gets really anxious or if i give a gift or help his mom he will say thanks and i say your welcome he gets quiet or will say something like you dont have to or he just gets very uncomfortable. like he dosent want me to say anything nice or encourage.
He made his decision- he said he wanted his freedom, to be alone,for e to move on and if i remind him this is what he wanted now he denies it and says i didnt really say that.
I thought he was in love with her , thats why he left me, i was not the one, but i dont harbor hate in my heart. why do they dislike me so i didnt break up our marraig
2006-09-30 04:24:14 · 13 answers · asked by still hoping for love 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
im 42,hes 43, she is 53 married, 3 kids (loving and wonderful teens and preteens) they love him very much and i have told them to still love him. he comes to take them out on the wekends but wont come in the house or he will just quickly speak and leave. if im not there he will stay and laugh and joke with the kids, but if im there he will not stay.
He says he dosent love her and that im thinking relationship like we had and its not like that andhhe has told me its friends having fun. I did get her on the phone once and she said she regretted getting involved with him it was a mistake and she didnt realize how much i loved him. That she hates that i was hurt. hmmm? That they are not together like i am thinking and he is free to leave she is not olding him and has told him he needs to go home to his family that loves him and his kids. He says he has hurt me too much and hes not ready to deal with this rigt now. Ive tried to find someone ese but my heart is not in it.
2006-09-30 04:47:34 · update #1
You say you dont harbor hate, but, you are not moving on!
2006-09-30 04:32:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a lot of relatives who served in the military. I think it is too disrespectful to the sacrifices you have made to defend our country. You should get a divorce and move on. The woman should raise the child alone. The reality is that the biological father may be married. Once the woman becomes a single mother, the tables will turn. While you were out serving our country, she was fooling around and got a lot of attention from men. But as a single mom with a child born while she became pregnant during an affair (with an unknown father), her promiscuity and attention she got will likely diminish. And she will face a lot of rejection. While married to you she got too much attention. As a single mom she will face the other extreme very quickly - outright rejection. And she deserves it. I read a book about combat medics in Vietnam. They saved many men not just from physical wounds but also from psychological wounds when their girlfriends or wives broke up with them while far away in the jungles of Vietnam. You should talk to a combat medic. This is a real crisis that requires help from a person with professional health care training.
2016-03-18 03:01:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably still feels a lot of guilt over him leaving you for another woman. He would probably feel more comfortable if you were mean to him because in his head he would rather have you mad at him then be nice. Of course she is not going to be nice to you, she is intimidated by you. You are younger,you are the mother of his kids, you are a threat to her. I have to say you must have a lot of strength in order to be nice to the both of them. I had the same thing happen to me when I was with my first husband he left me for an older woman and I was very upset. Hopefully you can move on and find someone that is going to treat you the way you want to be treated. Good Luck.
2006-09-30 04:43:49 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband realizes that he has made the BIGGEST mistake of his life. He is ashamed. That's why he doesn't talk to you much. He has shattered his self estemm, his morals, his guilt is eating him alive. When he looks at you or sees you, all of that is thrown right in his face. I'm not saying you are at fault here, I'm just telling you how he is feeling inside. You didn't do anything wrong, he did and he is paying for it more than you will ever know. He doesn't know how to handle the pain he is feeling inside for what he has done, so he stays quiet around you. You are a special person to not harbor hate. But understand that he hates himself for what he has done.
2006-09-30 06:45:32 · answer #4 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married an idiot. I'd go for a younger woman. But some people are lured by older women. Let the idiot go. Find another man. You did not say old you are. or how old your idiot husband or ex is. Life is short. Don't waste it by delving on it. If necessary log on to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thebrokenheartedgroup/
for support. I know it's not easy to let go of even idiots. But try it.
2006-09-30 04:37:08 · answer #5 · answered by pundit005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, the best thing for you is to move on stay away from his family etc... move on an find you someone else who will make you happen and leave him alone... think of it this way.. what comes around goes around.. he should have left you first before starting a new relationship.. usually 9 times out of 10.. his new relationship will not last.... so, be strong.. and show him you have what it takes to tell him to screw off.
2006-09-30 04:31:14 · answer #6 · answered by shelly v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop calling him. He can pick up that phone just as easily as you can. If he cares that much about the kids, let him prove it by calling them. As for his mother, you don't owe him an explanation about what you buy her or what you do for her. These will not be signs that you harbor hate, they're signs that you are moving on with your life.
2006-09-30 04:29:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are lots of things caused him to leave you, I don't really know if he is in love with the older woman and not in love with you.......... there are reasons why he does this and that......... I feel for you and I understand how hard it is in your part........ I think you need to see a professional counselor because this is a serious matter...... it's about marriage......GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-09-30 04:31:02 · answer #8 · answered by whitesilk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you want to know why because he probley thought you would be a real ***** and she did to and now he might be thinking what did i give up ,Or he might be totaley whiped by this woman and scared to death to say any thing nice to you who knows........you sound like a great person with a heart of gold let it go because good things come to good people and he sure isnt worthy of you
2006-09-30 04:35:52 · answer #9 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to be alright, God will see you through, and you have the right frame of mind. Now they are jealous of you, you are holding your own. Stay happy, and keep holding on. God has a lot of good things in store for you!
2006-09-30 04:45:19 · answer #10 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guilt...it will probly take some time. I think you should keep your conversation on the kids only. It is not your place to be nice to him, he should be treating you nice. You should pay no attention to his gf, she has nothing to do with your kids, except to treat them nice.
How many kids do you have? Good luck to you
2006-09-30 04:32:03 · answer #11 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋