My boyfriend and I have lived together for 7yrs and it seems to me that if the relationship was going to progress towards marriage it would have by know. Any advice on what is holding him back or is it wiser just to leave and try starting over.
2006-09-30 03:30:40 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do you need marriage? What will chance the situation if you get married? If you are happy, just let it go. I've been with my man almost 9 years and if we don't get married, who cares.
2006-09-30 03:32:41 · answer #1 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ASK HIM!!!!!
My question to you that you might want to think about is why would you want to get married to him. As it is now you can leave if you are unhappy and my guess you are. If you marry him and you are un-happy then you will be on here telling us that he does not spend enough time with you and things are not going well and you are thinking of divorce. If the 2 of you are happy then stay the way you are. All marriage is, is a piece of paper that states you 2 are married. If you think about it you will soing the same things together if you are married or not. Stay the way you are. I have been 2 times and i do not see the point.
2006-09-30 03:47:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are scared to take that leap. They think that it's OK to be in a full time relationship w/ the marriage license. Which is totally crazy Ur still doing the same things Ur just legal then. But I'd say if he was gonna ask u to marry him 8 yrs is long enough. Maybe u should sit him down and talk to him about it.
2006-09-30 04:18:34 · answer #3 · answered by Kimberly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will approach this from a different way. First you do have to talk to him about it. Maybe he is totally comfortable with just living together and doesn't think a piece of paper is a big deal. If that is what he tells you then you will have to tell him how you feel. My husband and I lived together for 12 years before we got married and he said that he wouldn't be any further committed to me with a piece of paper. I was the one that did not feel complete and probably due to religious and parental upbringing kind of dirty almost a lesser class being. That little paper made me feel more complete, more relaxed and more loved. My husband did it only for me and it was a wonderful way of saying I love you enough to marry you even though I personally do not feel the need to be married.
2006-09-30 04:23:39 · answer #4 · answered by oldmomma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless one of you has been in school or the military or similar obligatory commitment, it does not take 8 years to decide to marry someone.
You can make an ultimatum and see whether he is willing to let you be his default choice or you could move on now and find someone who is excited about you and wants to be with you.
Think about why you haven't made an ultimatum before now. Are you also hesitant? Are you just afraid of the relationship ending? That's not a good reason to keep it going.
2006-09-30 03:53:33 · answer #5 · answered by Zana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes the chance you will be married is very slim.
I was in a similar relationship for about 7 years.
We were very compatible, never fought, sex was
great, but the one unresolved issue was she could
not have kids and refused to consider adoption.
We parted amicably; it was hard but it had to be done.
If you have been together for that long, either you are
both happy with the status quo or you both have avoided
"deal breaking" heart to heart talks, knowing what the
outcome would be. If your clock is ticking and he continues
to enjoy all the advantages your life together brings, it's
up to you to bring it to the table.
Best wishes,
BiB
2006-09-30 04:08:02 · answer #6 · answered by Bamboozled in Brewster 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't where you are, but here in CA, if you've lived together, you're already married under commonlaw. So you have all the rights and privileges of any heterosexual couple. You've been acting like a married couple. So even if you'd split, it would be seen in court like a real divorce. If you wanted to talk him into getting the marriage certificate, remind him he's already married!
2006-09-30 03:44:59 · answer #7 · answered by chefgrille 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
8 years??? If he really loves you, he would have already asked you to marry him 3 years ago. You need to talk to him and see what the problem is. Maybe it is better to start over and find someone who wants to marry you!
2006-09-30 03:54:04 · answer #8 · answered by Your Wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a committment in the form of marriage is what you want, I think you should talk to him. Eight years is a long time, and if he's gone this long without talking about it to you, he may never - you should get the ball rolling! If marriage isn't what he wants, then you need to find someone who wants it, too.
2006-09-30 03:34:18 · answer #9 · answered by Sam 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are probably right .I don't know what is holding back him but I am sure you wanna get married after so many years because it feels more secure.You should find out why he does not propose to you . Try to find out.
2006-09-30 04:29:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋