Since our marriage I have been confused and was constantly on a rollercoaster ride. Nothing was good enough, he was very rude with me, verbally abusive for no reason, it is to the extent that i cannot say even one simple sentence to him, he would start yelling and abusing. I tried to make marriage work for 9 years and could not get anywhere. Now i am trying to leave and end this marriage for my and child's sake. My husband knows this and he as usual blames me and suggested us to see a physciatrist. He thinks I am mentally sick. During physciatrist visit, he is diagnosed with Narcissitic Personality Disorder. Also, physciatrist has told me that i have depression, might be because of conditons at home. I can hire a lawyer to legally end the marriage but my husband is threatening me of fighting for kids. I do not want my kid to grow up as Narcissitic with him getting custody. It had been very difficult for me to earn and save some money. I do not have too much to afford attorney fees.
2006-09-30 03:28:52 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are entitled to half of everything, including half of the money in your bank account. Get a lawyer and go for custody and get what you are owing.
The physciatrist will write you a report and you will be able to use that against him. Also, from now one, write in a diary every day he says something nasty to you or is rude with you and use it as evidence.
Good luck. You need to get yourself and your kids away from this man.
2006-09-30 03:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is a narcissist, he also will look after himself once you begin things against him. He will say things or act differently in front of other people (to make you look wrong), he will try to put on a good show of appearing to be a loving, caring father when it's time to do the custody hearing. He will try to look like he has always only wanted to help you and loves you and you were "just" unresponsive. He will try to show how he has been a better provider and parent, even if he hasn't been, and he will try anything he can to keep from having to pay you anything.
Be careful, get good advice from a lawyer, get your psychiatrist involved in helping with this, and do not stay with this man or let the kids stay with him. Learn how not to let him get to you emotionally and mentally. Take the other peoples' suggestions too about a diary and such. If you can, do an ONLINE one; other people can see it and maybe comment and inspire you. If he's a narcissist, he will say he wants to see it, but he really won't ever look.
2006-09-30 04:16:41 · answer #2 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not need to worry about him taking away your kids. The courts are very reluctant about taking children away from there mothers. With what you described I would say that you will get full custody, and if he is verbaly abusive you could make it for him that he has to have supervised visitation. You are entitled to 1/2 of everything that the 2 of you accuired during the marrage and if you were a SAHM or a house wife then you will also get spousel support on top of child support.
You do need to log every thing that goes on so you can paint a vivid picture of what he is like for the judge. Log everything from what he says and does. If you ever feel frightened of him or he threatens you phisically or does hurt you call the police so you can get a report.
Best of luck to you, Keep your head up you are doing the right thing. I hope you keep us updated on what is going on.
2006-09-30 03:55:03 · answer #3 · answered by Icara4ewu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will keep this short and sweet. You have a battle and it will be uphill all the way. write down everything...I agree. I have always kept a journal ......since my previous marriage was such a flop. If you are low on funds....seek funding resources. There are more out there then you realize for women in you position. File the paperwork yourself. It saves money. I drew up all my divorce papers, made sure all the legal mumbojumbo was in order and the soon to be ex couldnt understand it. I got full custody of the kids. End of story.
2006-09-30 04:42:50 · answer #4 · answered by Languastina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will be an ugly ride, but you will have to fight as hard as he wants to fight. Never give in or yield your possessions. You will have to fights for all of the possessions, so learn to turn up your ***** factor. You can't afford a lawyer, but you will need one so look in the yellow pages and find a selection of those that care for the lower incomes, they are out there. Start writing everything that you are entitled to such as house, bank accounts, cars, furniture, custody, insurance policies...everything! Your future will look grim financially if he rides out of the marriage with more things than you are entitled and that will end up affecting your ability to raise your kids the way you want them to be raised. File for a contested divorce, since he will not do it uncontested. This means you will need to go to court. This means you will need to get and you need to ASK for support from your family and friends. You will notice that during the filing for divorce, sides will start to be taken and come out of the woodwork. Stay strong, keep your goals in focus as much as you can. Cry if you may, but keep it short, your kids need you to be strong to keep moving ahead.
Not all states have laws that state you are entitled to half of everythingd, so what the other person said is not necessarity true.
Just because your current husband has a mental disorder does not mean your kids will become just like him. In fact, most kids are smart, they will observe their father and most likely they will try hard NOT to become like him.
2006-09-30 03:46:32 · answer #5 · answered by mulderlx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun guess what. I have good news for you!
There is a better life out there and leaving someone because he is abusive is easy to do. First pack yourself and the kids and move somewhere safe. Fill for a divorce. They have services everywhere for women with children the help you with this. Seek the advice (legal) that you need and get out. You will feel better and the kids will feel better. As for the A**hole you are married to he will not be able to take the children from you but you have to let him see them under supervison and the courts will see this. Get yourself together and show the courts that you are agot it all together mother and you can do this. He will act like a fool in front of them and hang himself. GET OUT!!!!!
2006-09-30 03:55:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
right now TODAY start writing down everything he says to you,does to you and who is present when it happens. also keep track of billsthat may go unpaid. if you ask for money to pay something or if you need to buy something for your child or household. and especially write down threats..i also suggest you get a tape recorder. digital ones will run you about $30. hide the log book somewhere you know he wont look..laundry room? in your childs closet. and yes you are entiteled to half and they willnot takeyour childfrom you. your husb/ex will get visitation trust me he wont want any more than every other weekend. if you don't have any money to pay for a lawyer..look in the yellow pages under legal aid good luck and let us know
2006-09-30 03:39:01 · answer #7 · answered by lilyofvalley1962 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you have my sympathy.
I feel you on this one. You have a long journey ahead of you, and you may as well get started sooner........Rather than later. There is no sense in prolonging your pain, and the pain of your child.
The foremost thing you should keep in your mind is this; What he is saying to you (your husband) these things are not true. His words serve only his purpose; to make himself appear superior. Think of his words and actions as something digestible, like food, when he serves them, you will have to hear them, but you DO NOT
have to digest them. This is your manta, learn this and live by it, it will help you garner the strength you are going to need to save yourself and your child by getting away from this man. When you allow him to deplete your energy by taking in his words and insults, it disables you from getting strong enough to do something about the situation! He knows this. This works for him, if he can keep you "in place" he gets what he needs; to feel superior, to suck up your positive energy because for whatever reason he is incapable of creating his own. Once you begin to do this you will feel much stronger, and much more able to handle what is going on in your life.
2006-09-30 03:54:29 · answer #8 · answered by mchlmybelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋