A few years ago I got too friendly with another woman. My wife found out has lost trust in me. She thought I was cheating on her, but I wasn't. I lot of time has passed since then and but evey once in a while, my wife will bring it up out of the blue and it will cause a fight or the silent treatment for a while. I don't think she'll evey get over it. What should I do?
2006-09-30 01:32:24 · 11 answers · asked by Mustafa 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do men think that cheating is about sex only? It's not. Because you "connected" in some way to another women, your wife feels very insecure. She may not talk about it, until something snaps in her and causes a fight, but the hurt hasn't gone away. It's always in her head and her heart. Every time she knows your talking to another women, she's probably wondering how far your going to go this time. I would recommend counseling, she needs an outlet for her feelings and you need to come to terms with what you did. You seem to think you did nothing wrong. But you did. Cheating isn't just sex. If you make an emotional connection with another women, it is very hurtful. Maybe even more hurtful than if it was sex in some cases. You're telling this other women intimate things about yourself and sharing things that are only meant for your wife's ears. You need to realize you did cheat on her, and show her some compassion. Stop being defensive, and start apologizing. She's hurting.
2006-09-30 01:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way, How would you feel if your wife did something that she "Didn't think was cheating" yet you did? Would you have a hard time trusting her again? I mean, maybe you think sex is cheating but kissing a girl is not cheating. But your wife thinks that kissing another women is cheating. Then she is going to be worried because you can say, I've never cheated.....but that only to your stander of what cheating is. Know what I mean? I think that you need to really get her to understand how sorry you are and then talk about it. Don't blow it off like its not big deal because to her it is a big deal. You where the one in the wrong not her.
2006-09-30 09:58:07 · answer #2 · answered by dohm84 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is the most important thing in a marriage and or relationship. Once that is lost it can take years to get back. It's YOUR fault for getting to 'friendly' with another woman. Don't throw the blame on her because she doesn't trust YOU. You are the one who broke the trust.
Now what do to.... perhaps counseling would be good for the both of you. She can learn tools to help her as you can learn tools to help you as well. Depending how badly you want your wife and she wants you will determine the road you will take to get your marriage back on track.
2006-09-30 10:06:38 · answer #3 · answered by Maienca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure it's out of the blue? maybe there's something that triggers your wife to bring it up that you're not telling us. and as a Muslim, it is not ok to become too friendly with the opposite sex, not in person or on the internet. i am sure you are aware of this. your wife does not trust you because you are not following the rules of Islam when it comes to women.
2006-10-01 16:39:45 · answer #4 · answered by starlight 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That Is why couples should talk to each other, you have a wife, to help you with things, why is men go to other women, and they think these women are any different then their wife? you REALLY can talk to your wife about anything, yes she may get upset, but when its your life and hers your talking to her about, it can get upsetting at times, the reson you don`t get the same response with other women is because its not their life, they have nothing to lose, you can talk to them, and they can give their openion, But what have they got to lose? then when men talk to other women, and they get a calm reaction, they think these women are the bomb, its not true, its just that its not happening to their life, when it does happen in their life, they will react the same way all women react.
2006-09-30 08:59:47 · answer #5 · answered by theladylooking 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if your are innocent than you have nothing to worry about if your wife feels that way than it is a sad sob story if she can't trust you so try and gain her trust with you back if that is the issue if not don't be with someone who doesn't trust you.
2006-09-30 10:09:26 · answer #6 · answered by ashley14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to marriage counseling and work it out. I don't blame her for not trusting you, even if you were loyal to her. She took it as a slap in the face, to say the least.
2006-09-30 08:39:13 · answer #7 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Emotionally she felt betrayed..it hurt her pride that you could be close to another female and not her...just try and reassure her that nothing happened...Ask her what will it take for her to forgive you..maybe you should seek outside help (counseling, pastor)...
2006-09-30 09:31:23 · answer #8 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need counseling and she needs to quit punishing you for something that didnt happen
Good Luck and God Bless!!
2006-09-30 09:10:29 · answer #9 · answered by msqtech 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are innocent just keep on showing her compassion if that does not work got to counseling.
2006-09-30 08:35:08 · answer #10 · answered by nanny2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋