What can done about an overbearing, Homosexual supervisor?

Question

At the place where I am employed, we have this newly assigned supervisor. On top of acting, and showing homosexual tendencys, he is rude and over bearing. I cant stand being around him, he makes me very nervous. Him and I are always argueing. Sometimes, I feel like knocking his teeth out. But, I dont, with the fear of being fired, or worse, having charges filed on me for assault. What can I do? The job was real nice to work at, up until he arrived there.

Answer 1

I think you are really attracted to him and need to come out of the closet.

Answer 2

Okay, the very first thing you MUST do is separate the issues that you have with him. It sounds like you are letting the fact that he is obviously gay interfere with real issues you have...and you will not win trying playing the "he's gay and in my face card."

1 - FORGET THAT HE IS GAY. It is irrelevant. It should mean or change nothing about the way you perform at work or are able to engage in work behavior.

2 - You have to talk (and document) with him about his rude and overbearing ways by which he is treating you. See how that conversation goes...if he shows signs that he listened or is making a better effort at communicating more effectively and professionally, you have achieved what you set out to do. If he does not, you then climb the corporate ladder and inform him (your boss) that you would like to request a meeting with him and his boss. The whole time, you should be documenting what you are saying and requesting, and above all, let me remind once again, be quiet about the fact he is gay and do not discuss his sexual orientation with others...even buddies around the water cooler.

I have seen many people lose their jobs for unintentionally discriminating against people of different religious beliefs, familial status, sexual orientation, disability status, and so forth. This is an extremely sensitive issue in the workplace.

Answer 3

This particular situation appears to be symptomatic of what is called a "hostile work environment". Most companies have a policy specifically prohibiting such behavior. The Civil Rights Act of 1964, title 7 primarily covers prohibited acts (e.g., harassment) affecting the protected classes of race, gender, religion, and national origin. However, more recent, individual company policies have expanded the definition of harassment to include elements of a hostile work environment and thus prohibiting such behavior.

The first step is usually to have a candid discussion with the alleged violator. If that does not bring the results, then the filing of a grievance or similar document with the company's HR department should follow. Be sure to document your actions where possible through e-mails, meeting logs, and other methods to show a clear attempt to remedy the situation.

Before proceeding with any action, consult with your HR representative and let them know that the matter is of a sensitive nature and that disclosure discretion should be used wherever possible.

Answer 4

A rather cynical answer would be: Settle for reading Dilbert strips.

But seriously, the first thing to do - and the rule of thumb for any situation, really - is to calm down. The main conflict at hand is better managed if you first manage your emotions. You need a cool head.

And consider this, as well:

1 in 6 American workers suffers from an overbearing or bullying boss.

Most of the times, the boss' target is a woman.

However, generally speaking, only 42 percent of men bully and overbear. So women are actually more commonly the bullies....

Now, I really don't know much about gay bosses, but I suppose you could implant a women's psychology (psicosis?) into the equation.

Now...your second action is to figure out if YOU and only YOU are the target. Is it ONLY you? Or is it a variety of people on staff. Bear this in mind because these are the people that can help in supporting you because they literally know what you're talking about.

Further, KEEP YOUR JOB RUNNING. Do you remember the SOP's on the shelf? Browse through them and figure out exactly what your legally binding company duties are. You want to keep that in mind in case the bullying boss steps out of his way.

Unfortunately, one of the ugliest truths about bad bosses is that if they get the job done, the Ups in higher management won't really care much about the situation at hand. As long as they get the job done, fine. Let the employees deal with it.

So your job is to pretty much try to "trap" your boss going out of bounds.

Some of the reasons for which your boss can be found "guilty" and for which you could accuse him would be in creating a sexually charged arena, or a disruptive work environment, or many other choices in that area. It won't get him fired (unless he's actually going out of his way and into more dangerous territory)...but you can certainly get him a visit to the office with the Ups in management.

My best advice? Get yourself one of these:

http://www.sandisk.com/Products/Item(1211)-SDMX3-2048-Sansa_m250_Digital_Audio_Player_2GB.aspx

They have a built-in microphone/voice-recorder that works wonderfully and also has an extremely sensitive sound quality. It'll pick up small sounds, as well. It's quite receptive.

Take it around. When the boss comes by, pull it out, set it on record, keep it on your shirt pocket.

And wait...

P.S. Bear in mind: this is war. But KEEP YOUR COOL. Your job is to do your job first, negotiate second, and if he's arrogant and disruptive, report. That's all you're going to do. Report. Get the facts.

No facts. No whining with anyone else, okay?

He's the boss. In a he-said, she-said scenario, without facts, YOU LOSE.

Good luck.

And remember the amazing human capacity to ignore.

Answer 5

Well first you have to separate the two issues....
1. Him being gay
2. Him being a jerk.

The first one should really be a non-issue. Your gonna have to get past it.

The one about him being a jerk I would suggest that when y'all have a lag in operations you should ask if y'all could talk...ask him what you need to do to help him out...any questions he has about the section etc....kinda make his transition easier. It could be that he has heard some negative things about the section, or perhaps the fact he is gay has always made the workers in his section hostile toward him. If that is the case then this is possible a "defense mechanism" he has developed.

You will never know bro if you don't go to him and ask....if that doesn't work and you need that job...your gonna have to accept it and stay out of his "kill zone". Good luck bro..

Answer 6

Since he's the new supervisor you're going to have to work with him. Deal with it.

You're there to do a job. Find a way to focus on your business relationship with him and drop the personal stuff. He's new, he's trying to establish his authority with his overbearing stuff. Of course, if it feels like harrassment or bullying, then you can report that stuff to your HR Dept. If it gets so bad that you can't stand it, then start looking for a new position with another company.'

Answer 7

Step one, apply for a new job elsewhere.

Step two, get confirmation that you're hired, but make no word about at the office.

Step three, a few days before starting your new job, "report for work" and when Attila shows up for a fight, give him all he's got coming plus arrears, physical assault optional, then leave on the spot..

THERE !

Leave all firearms at home.

Answer 8

My HR department contacted me about a similar case back in 2001. It was a difficult situation to deal with. I had to contact the law firm that bills me. They basically said that my corporate governance rules had to indicate that harassment in my company cannot be tolerated.

So, with this in mind, you should first contact your HR department and be specific, and to the point. They will address the issue diligently.

Answer 9

Tell him you'd like to discuss your work relationship and simply tell him how you feel. You have nothing to lose and a much better work environment to gain! God bless!

Answer 10

The only thing I can think of would be to find a new job.