how sick is that
what's your explanation for this
(& please don't start the discussion with the parents' bad childhood 'cause that's no excuse)
thanks
2006-09-30 00:39:42 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
There is a kind of psychosis that women can get after giving birth that makes them indifferent to their child/children. (I don't know what it's called in English.) The "weaker" forms of it is more common than most think.
Personal mental health problems is also a reason, the parents are to busy with their own demons to be able to love their children.
There is also the fact that you can't force anyone to love, it has to be given willingly. If you don't feel love, for whatever reason, then you can't make yourself love no matter what people and society around you think.
2006-09-30 00:47:33 · answer #1 · answered by *duh* 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Honestly I think this phenonmenon starts because of women or men who have children who never realy wanted to but they have them as tools to keep a lover and then when the lover doesnt stay or do what they want.. and the relationship doesnt go their way.. they are "stuck" with the child they had to use for the relationship... not a good excuse but honestly I was one of those children and I was passed between relatives so I know how it feels .. neither of my parents wanted me.. and they both told me so.. and now that Im an adult and they realize that I am an inteligent, fun loving person to be around and that I am self sufficiant inspite of them and now I am turning them away they are both hurt and seeking my solice.. but you know what .. we dont have to like our parents.. and they dont have to like us... just because you choose to have a child doesnt mean you choose for the right reasons.. that is why I think ppl should think long and hard before they have children..
Hence why I think Gay parents make better parents than straight ppl... We have to think about it harder and longer.. the why's they how's and the whats .... and the how much's... so we already have our ducks in a row before we have our children for the most part. unless we were in straight marriages before hand .. and in my case even then I had to weigh it out.. as I did IVF .... Kids are not something to just do ... you know the horizontal mombo and then 9 months later a bundle shows up... they are so much harder than that... 2 am feedings... colic.... school plays... car pools ,, sporting events... sickness... TONS OF MONEY SHELLED OUT for many different things... Mom doing with out (that is if she cares about her kids) .... making sure their phycie doesnt get bruised by bullies at school and the mean lady down the street and the mean teacher in the 3rd grade.. and hell even you ... being a parent isnt an easy job.. why anyone would take it on without more thought than they do the purchase of a home or a car is beyond me but it happens every day... someone wakes up and says opps im pregnant.. guess im having a baby...
Ok that is my soap box.. im done..
Blessings to all , and thanks to my Ninny(my great grandmother for taking me on when I was only 1 day old) she did a great job, I felt loved and appreciated when many children didnt. And I had the freedom to be who I was in a time when many children had to hide.
RiahWillow
2006-09-30 09:10:07 · answer #2 · answered by RiahWillow 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only thing I can think of because I see it from where I live...is that some people have children to get family allowance and a welfare check.
Sick eh?
I met a family who had 4 kids in a 2 bedroom apt. Not like they cant afford to move to a bigger spot, they get almost 1000 in family allowance alone. I guess drinking is a better option. Morons.!
2006-09-30 07:44:51 · answer #3 · answered by Mariah&Lydias_Mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Variety of reasons, from selfishness to immaturity to intimacy problems.
The real issue is that loving your children is not instinctual. Taking care of your child to some degree is, but that actual unconditional love is a behavior that most humans have difficulty with because we don't do it any place else in our lives.
You didn't define your question so its impossible to know the parameters of what you are asking, so I'll assume that you don't mean parents who DO love their children, almost pathologically and kill them to send them to heaven or protect them from some unknown evil. Neglect and abuse are not symptoms nessessarially of lack of parental love, its an ignorance of how to perform parental responsibilites and being out of control. A father that sexually molests his children will believe he loves his children. A mother who abuses drugs and neglects her children, will probably also love them.
Having children seems to be assumed to be a right not a privelege in our society, and parents treat them like property, even the ones who shower their kids with material goods, they treat them like pets not people.
I don't see any change in this behavior, we are an immature, selfish and egotistical society and that doesn't lend to putting someone else first and that's exactly what you have to do with children.
Love is also relative. If you asked my now elderly mother if she loves her children she would be adament about declaring that she does. The truth as her children know it is something far different.
Excuse spelling errors, not enough coffee to spell properly and the spell check is not working.
2006-09-30 09:08:28 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes its about control & not loving unconditionaly. Some parents have conditions (control) on the relationship and if the conditions are not met (by not conforming) then they don't like, love, or give money to their child. If the child is not who or what the parents want him to be then they won't like/love him & convince themselves that there is something wrong with their kid mentally or emotionally & the kids just not right.
Now if the kid could just conform........
Now if the parents could just accept.....
2006-09-30 18:15:33 · answer #5 · answered by BeloyeMore 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother was gay.....he died recently after a hard fight with cancer. He left behind a mother, 8 siblings, and numerous nieces & nephews who loved him dearly.
I was amazed at the funeral how many of his gay brothers told us how lucky my brother was to have his family beside him because they're families has disowned them.
I thought this was so sad because we never cared who my brother loved.....we just wanted him back.
We were raised by parents who loved us no matter what.
2006-09-30 07:47:06 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
From my perspective I don't understand it at all, I've loved all my children regardless of what they have done (ok, you all know the exceptions which are way to many to list here, so just consider it listed), and God loves you too!.
2006-09-30 09:29:59 · answer #7 · answered by God 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could be that their own parents never showed them love so they are dealing with their kids the same way and yes this no excuse!!..i will never treat my kids the way my mom is treating me..u know i neva feel her love...
or the parents might be so stressed and depressed to a degree they can't even love thir own kids..they even hate them selves!
2006-09-30 08:05:13 · answer #8 · answered by paranoid. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad, and shows a person (or people) who are totally self-absorbed. They are so busy loving themselves (or hating themselves) but either way, they are so wrapped up in themselves that they don't have room in their lives for anybody else. It's sad.
2006-09-30 07:42:48 · answer #9 · answered by Arlene06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋