What would make you hold on to your life together when you know that you will never trust your partner again.
2006-09-30 00:11:58 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Kids only can sacrifice you alive but not save your marriage.
2006-09-30 00:14:40 · answer #1 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One should never use children as a tool to try to hold a marriage together. Raising children is one of the toughest things anyone will ever do. It is challenging, stressful, and wonderful all at the same time. But can only bring more stress into an already stressful marriage.
If you feel as if you can't trust your spouse you need to understand why. Then ask yourself what was your part in the betrayal. Many people don't like to see their own faults but generally there is no completely innocent party.
Cheating is the most common reason for loosing trust. If this is the case remember this... spouses don't usually cheat just for the sake of cheating. Usually they feel betrayed by their partner. Betrayal comes in different packages not just cheating.
The first commitment that should be in a marriage is the commitment to the health and happiness of the marriage. Typically when one cheats it is because they feel their partner has let them down, they are no longer happy and feel as if the partner doesn't care.
This does not excuse the cheating behavior but if a couple can be honest with themselves and each other they will generally find where both have failed the other. Only once ALL problems are identified can the marriage begin to heal.
If your partner betrayed your trust sit down with him and ask why. Ask if he feels you let him down in some way. Often, even as adults, we don't always know just how to express our concerns or we don't always know how to deal with them and sometimes we just don't do it right. That doesn't mean we didn't love our partner... just means we didn't know how to deal with a problem.
Everyone makes mistakes!
Good Luck!
2006-09-30 00:26:43 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not believe kids save a marriage. If you marriage is in trouble.. be responsible and don't bring kids into a bad marriage. If you do, your just setting the kids up to become hurt. Alot of kids who are from divorced families believe it was their fault their parents got divorced. Don't put kids through that.
2006-09-30 02:25:06 · answer #3 · answered by Maienca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, Kids do NOT save a marriage. A marriage must be strong to weather the effects of having children....... financial strain, illness, discipline...... If your marriage is not stable the only thing you will acomplish for your children is a broken home. If you can't trust your spouse then get rid of him. Why hold on at all?
2006-09-30 00:16:43 · answer #4 · answered by Olivia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG NO. Kids will make things much much worse AND the kids would suffer. If things are bad having kids to save it is a really bad idea.
If the relationship turns south after the kids and you just want to stay together for them...well it is noble but not always possible.
2006-09-30 00:28:25 · answer #5 · answered by sshazzam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you want your children to stay in an unhappy and unfaithful marriage when they are adults. What are the messages these children getting now? To tolerate a bad marriage and use the children as an excuse to stay together? The couple may seek counseling but if it can't be remedied then teach them to move on and impower themselves. By taking charge of their destiny and not settling for anything less in life.
Or pray on it.
2006-09-30 00:38:31 · answer #6 · answered by Hollygood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids put more pressure on a marraige, I personally would say having kids to save a relationship is a bad idea.
Maybe counsilling and working on your relationship would be the best way to start to try and rebuild your marriage.
2006-09-30 00:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
never ever have a child to save a marriage, its not fair on you, your husband or the child.
If a marriage is over, its over.
You are both better off moving on and finding different partners!
2006-09-30 00:31:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are not the answer in a bad relationship. Kids are the reason many give for staying together but that just teaches the kids that it is okay to be miserable
Good Luck and God Bless!!
2006-09-30 00:38:02 · answer #9 · answered by msqtech 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt have kids to save a marriage particularly one where you cant trust your partner. kids dont ask to be brought into this world and shouldnt be used as pawns in a marriage.
if you cant trust your partner dont marry him or even think of having kids with him at all.
2006-09-30 00:15:04 · answer #10 · answered by vanessaoz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋