I am working lady with 2&1/2 year cute son, last six months back i came from my husbands house exhuasted by mother-in-law & husbands behaviours, thinking that they will come and they will console me and they will take me, but it was not happened they didn't came, now i am feeling that whether my thinking was wrong in this matter. The matter was, last 4 years back i got marreid, i dont have any in-laws except dominating mother-in-law.My husband is in her hands if she will say yes, my husband say yes, if she says no he will say no. they will take my salary, my mother in law will purchase what she wants(she is also working) but if i will ask to my husband, he will refuse it. From 4 years they have taken my all salary my affection and love but they have given me lonley life, sorrow and fearful life. Now that cunning mother-in-law going to do 2nd marriage to her son, he is also dancing according to her foolishness. Now iam staying with my old mom&pa (dont have sons) in my working place.
2006-09-29 23:51:40 · 14 answers · asked by chinnu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you have your work cut out for you.you better get your husband to counseling as soon as you can.you should be first in his life now not mom.
2006-09-30 01:20:18 · answer #1 · answered by nanny2 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, and i'm going to tell you why from very rough-discovered individual experience. You left your mom's condo, and your husband left his, and while you married, you started a brand new existence collectively. Your first duty is to one another. If money it tight, you then must help yourselves first, so that you could be aid others extra should it end up integral. Within the case of your mother in legislation, despite the fact that she would want the money, you and your husband haven't any ethical obligation to provide it. Does she have meals? Warmth? A location to reside? If the answer to those is yes, then she has no trade watching elsewhere for anybody to supplement her sales. Her discretionary spending habits are her main issue, not yours. You ought to make monetary choices with your spouse. This is what marriage is supposed to be. In this case, the moral duty is to appear to yourselves first, in order that after, that you could help others without endangering yourselves and fitting a burden to anybody else. If everybody did this, matters could be a lot simpler. Your husband may be proper for the wrong explanations, however that doesn't make his selection unhealthy. In any case, i am on the other facet, aiding a mother-in-law. You do not want to be in this obstacle. Demands develop, as does dependence for your charity, whenever you start down that road. No one needs that, and it can be no longer healthy for any individual involved. Good luck.
2016-08-09 15:27:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you but you should have seen this by his actions being around his family for so long. People can only take advantage of you as far as you let them do. Get rid of Mommas Boy, and do not give them your salary anymore. get a checking account just in your own name, and if you have direct deposit where you work have your paycheck deposited that way also. As far as they are dancing, I know what you are saying, and I bet the Momma is doing the leading in that dance also. Get on with your life and get rid of that loser. You can make the changes if you want to bad enough. I am a guy, and my mother-in-law tried some of that crap with me, and I let her know from git-go. "stay out of my business and if you want to butt in my and my wifes affiars I will butt back. Well, now she does not talk to me or anything, and that is fine with me, at least I have some peace without her butting in all the time. I did not know her before I met her and I got along just fine and I am getting along just fine now. Give her a Doll to play with so she can have someone to controll. Hope this helps
2006-09-30 00:02:23 · answer #3 · answered by Ex Head 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am afraid you have let this slide on for far to long, it has become almost expected that you roll over and do nothing because you have allowed it to happen for so long. they expect nothing else from you that's why when you do make a stand they don't take you seriously.A mothers grip can be a very powerful one, one that she seems to have perfected quite well. your Husband needs to be a man and respectfully stand up to his Mum,The two of you should be united in this stand. You should never have to give your hard earned wages to his Mother, OMG, what a farce. they should be used jointly between you and your husband towards the upkeep of the house etc. you need to make a stand tell your husband that you mean what you say and I hope he stands by you, but you are going to need to be strong here OK, I wish you well.
2006-09-29 23:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing I'd suggest is don't give them your salary. You made the money, you put it into a bank account with your name and your son's name. When you husband asks why? Tell him you want to spend your own money and if he wants money for him and his mother, then use his own money and her money.
Then tell him what you've told us. See what he says from there. Print out your question and if still objects, print out everyone's answers to your question and show him why you're changing the things you are to change to get his love, attention and affection.
When he changes, then change slowly to help with the income and bills, but the two of you need to agree what to spend both of your salaries on, including monies for your mother-in-law's needs or wants.
2006-09-29 23:59:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont understand all of what you have written but it says at the end your staying with you old mom & pa - does this mean your own parents? and also your working and the mother in law takes all your salary - first of all stop this now - open another bank account if you have to - and go see who looks after payrol in your job and get your salary changed over to the new account as soon as possible, they have no right to do this and its your first step to independence - you need to get away from this woman and sorry as much as you possibly love your husband he is playing into her hands and is treating you as nasty as she is - get away from them all.
2006-09-29 23:57:29 · answer #6 · answered by kinnoishere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why have u allowed them to treat u this way? Don't depend on your husband to back u up as he's a spineless mama's boy. Take your son and leave them. U don't need these kinds of people in your life.
2006-09-30 00:07:09 · answer #7 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
MOVE ON ur better off without those psychos. forgive for callin them that but thats what they sound like. ur a hard workin woman and u dont need that **** from anyone. so yeah LEAVE EM and MOVE FORWARD WITH UR LIFE. LIFE IS MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN PAIN IN THE *** IN LAWS.LOL. AND THATS THE TRUTH.
2006-09-29 23:57:02 · answer #8 · answered by DUDE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you're not full of it make some important and permanent changes in your life get rid of the in laws and spineless mama husband you have and live a normal respected life somewhere else
2006-09-30 00:15:34 · answer #9 · answered by aldo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What kind of people they are???
Live the idiots alone. There is no life and future and any respect for your feelings, Move on to find real happiness. Don't waist time.
2006-09-30 00:00:35 · answer #10 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any way of divorcing him and legally have the son on your side and of course also your pay and get him compensate for all that.
2006-09-29 23:59:43 · answer #11 · answered by JP E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋