because of fathers' relationship with a younger woman...he 38.she 20...daughter has cut all communication with father.
2006-09-29 20:36:19 · 11 answers · asked by magictongue 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
relationship with younger woman has been for 3 yrs...daughter cut communication 2 yrs ago....father loves woman and daughter
2006-09-29 20:37:33 · update #1
The 20 yr. old girlfriend is Dads playmate only.
Don't force the child to share your time with your girlfriend. She may feel like she has to compete. She may be embarrassed, betrayed (for her mother), or grossed out at the age difference...
Spend one-on-one time with the daughter and understand her feelings.
Start with a phone call, ask her to dinner ...just the two of you.
If you have to keep these 2 relationships seperate in order to keep your daughter in your life, than thats what I would recommend. Slowly she may come around and get use to the idea...but by that time I'm sure the 20 yr. old will be gone.
2006-09-29 21:13:31 · answer #1 · answered by nobodyuknow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing a 38 year old man has in common with a 20 year old woman, is sex. Beyond the sex, they can't hold an intelligent conversation over coffee in the morning. The 20 year old isn't at the same level. They don't have near the life experience. Why do you assume that your 14 year old daughter should be accepting of someone with no life experience that's only 6 years older than she is? When you cut communication with the 20 years old and grow up and start making adult decisions, your daughter "might" find respect for you again. A 14 year old needs good examples at at a critical time in her life. Best wishes.
2006-09-29 20:41:11 · answer #2 · answered by Night Wind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Father should have put his daughter before the girlfriend. I know someone who did the same thing. Father 65, Girlfriend 40, Daughter 42. Eventually the daughter forgave and came around, but still believes that the child should come first. Especially if you live near each other where it will effect there daily lives. Good Luck!
2006-09-29 20:40:09 · answer #3 · answered by Brown_Eyed_Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you saying you've been in a relationship with this "woman" since she was seventeen? I don't blame the kid for feeling freaked out. Write her letters and assure her that this woman has not replaced her (your daughter) in your affections. She may never read them but maybe if you keep at it long enough she will. Keep copies in case she burns the ones you send her. Then some day you can show them to her as evidence that you put a lot of effort into communicating with her.
2006-09-29 20:47:19 · answer #4 · answered by Lleh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... that's a toughie. Do you take your girlfriend's side over your daughter's? Do you ignore your daughter when your girlfriend's? around? Is she mature for 20 years old? At 25, I even look at 20 year olds and say, "was I that immature?" or is it a midlife crisis? Maybe your daughter sees something in her that you don't see. Talk to her. Ask her what about your girlfriend bothers her. Ask her if she wants you to be happy. Explain that you're human just like she is and that you're not infalliable. Tell her that if you aren't with the woman you love, you'll be sad. Explain to her that people want that special someone to share their lives with. They're very close to the same age. Maybe they can be friends.
2006-09-29 20:43:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 14 it sounds if someone is pushing her into some of these feelings.I think you should just let her give herself time to heal & get over it on her own.Still be a supportive Father on the side lines if possible until the daughter is ready to make a move.
2006-09-29 20:43:08 · answer #6 · answered by "karma" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want a relationship with your daughter then get rid of the 20 year old. there are a lot of nice women out there that are closer to your age. Your daughter is and should be number one. You are important to her and she looks up to you as her Father, don't let her down for a piece of ***.
2006-09-29 20:41:17 · answer #7 · answered by orlin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one that will heal in time, I know you didn't want to hear that but it's true. I understand your more interested in now because this is your daughter your talking about. I suggest you be open and honest with her by telling her you love the woman your now with, and keep telling her, hopefully she come around.
2006-09-29 20:42:54 · answer #8 · answered by bprice215 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can fix it except herself.Maybe she's mad at him for dating a younger woman.Maybe she's mad because he gives his new girlfreind all of his attention.Only she can fix it.Don't pressure her to fix it-only she can decide when ti fix it.
2006-09-29 20:40:12 · answer #9 · answered by the_silver_tin_man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think we all take our family and friends too much for granted.
Stop moaning for a minute and be more apreciative.
Imagine how awful it would be if they suddenly weren't there.
2006-09-29 20:37:57 · answer #10 · answered by mada m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋