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Girls who are abused by their boyfriends, should they put up with the abuse? Should they stick it out and try to resolve the problems or should the abuser be arrested? Do some of the wives deserve what they get, do the girls deserve what they get also? What's the answer?

2006-09-29 17:11:15 · 26 answers · asked by ZORRO 3 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

But, what if the wife or girlfriend is terrified to leave knowing he'd try to find her and get even?

2006-09-29 17:19:27 · update #1

All the answers (except 2) are correct in what they say to do. Here's something that most will overlook: What about an abusive woman who treats her man, slaps him around and even beats on him? It could be a man who isn't strong physically and has to put up with her because she has an abusive mouth & fists, or because she out weighs him. Should he leave her quick or should he act like "Dirty Harry" and ask her if she feels lucky? What do you do if a man gets beat up by his wife?

2006-09-29 17:41:09 · update #2

26 answers

NO WOMAN EVER DESERVES TO BE HIT BY A MAN!
I am not saying there aren't woman out there that antagonize someone so badly that they want to hit them, but a real man walks away, not beats away!
Only cowards and bullies beat on someone smaller or more defenseless then themselves!
Heck yeah press charges and get the heck out of there!

2006-09-29 17:15:31 · answer #1 · answered by babydoll121070 3 · 0 0

Nobody should put up with it.
Nobody deserves it.
Some people don't leave because they're afraid of one thing or another.
There is no point in trying to "resolve problems" with the abuser. Even if the abuser can be convinced to stop there is something wrong with him, and he will never be what a partner should be.

If someone does one abusive thing, the woman leaves, and the guy doesn't go hunting her down to harrass and further abuse her, I can see how someone may let one incident that wasn't too serious go without having the guy arrested. Anything more than that, though - whatever happens to him happens to him.

2006-09-30 00:21:45 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0 0

I have very strong feelings about abuse in any form. I apologize in advance, because this is going to get long.

True abuse is a pattern of behavior. It's something that repeats itself. If there is a pattern of abuse, then it's something in the person's upbringing or life that makes them think that it is OK to act like that. Sometimes they saw it growing up in their own family, sometimes they learn it from friends or co-workers. Either way you look at it, abuse is dangerous and very very wrong.

No person should ever have to live with abuse. Period. End of story. Any time there is even a little abuse, it can and will escalate into something bigger. There are 4 (or 5 depending on the source) kids of abuse. Physical, sexual, mental, verbal, and emotional. Sometimes mental and emotional ae lumped together, but it still remains that the person is controling you. The worse they can make you feel, the more powerful they feel about themselves. The more they make you think that you can't live without them, the more they will abuse you. If they start with one kind of abuse, eventually the other forms will follow. You can't just say that he only insults you, and he would never hit you. If he'll insult you, he'll hit you, and he may even one day rape you.

Once in a bue moon there is a guy that can get better with help, but it's so rare that's it's not worth sticking around to find out if your guy is one of them.

Women never are asking for it, or get what they deserve when it comes to abuse. If she hits him, and hits her back, then they are both abusers. If she cusses him, and he cusses her back, then they are both abusers. Sometimes it's just anger in an argument that makes a person say mean or insulting things, but behavior patterns that qualify as abuse aren't acceptable no matter who the abuser is. No matter who starts the abuse, it is never OK. It's wrong to treat anyone like that, no matter what they did.

A pattern of behavior means that it is recurring. Like every time he has a bad day at work, he takes it out on you. Or every time you do even the littlest thing wrong, he degrades you to try to make you feel you are worthless and can't do anything right.

No matter what his threats are, call the cops and leave him. Abusers know that the abused is often too afraid to leave them. At heart, abusers are cowards. They usually won't persue you once they know that you are protected. Get a restraining order and press charges. If he actually comes after you, call the cops and have him locked up until trial. They can and will hold men without bail when the man has proven that he is a threat to his ex.

Find a safe place to stay, preferrably with someone else. Whether it's a family member, friend, or women's shelter, you should have some support until you have regained both your physical and inner strength. You shouldn't try to live on your own when you are fragile and out of a relationship like that.

Again, sorry for the length. But there is nothing on earth that would make it worth while to stay with an abusive boyfriend or husband. Find some inner strength and leave the *******.

2006-09-30 00:38:06 · answer #3 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0 0

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
Help is available and there are safe houses that you can be taken to. Do not put up with this and get out as soon as you can. Contact the local police and ask them for an abused women's shelter. GET OUT NOW before you are seriously hurt or killed. It never gets better, only worse! No woman deserves to be hurt or abused in any way no matter what the woman does or says.

2006-09-30 00:28:53 · answer #4 · answered by housemouse62451 4 · 0 0

It's up to them if the abuse should lead to someone being arrested. At the very least - they should seek help to get away - and stay away - from that person. If the abuser won't let them out of the relationship, you know you have a HUGE problem. Run, don't walk to parents, friends or police.

2006-09-30 00:18:24 · answer #5 · answered by bardstale 4 · 0 0

No way, no one should have to put up with being hit on by their partners even if they provoke them. Cassie on Home and Away took Macca back after he hit her which was a bad decision. In my opinion, women who love and stay with their husbands or partners who abuse them are cowards and spineless. I've had enough of this 'I think he'll kill me' crap, if they want to leave, wait until the man is out of the house, pack up and never come back. if kids are involved and the mother lets the father or man hit them too then she is a bad mother, she should never let this happen. So are you a wife/girlfriend beater, it sounds like you are considering that the girl might deserve it, you should be locked up you girl basher.

2006-09-30 00:16:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

No one deserves to be abused. I lived in an abusive marriage for six years and finally found the courage to get out of it. I don't think any girl should make the bad decision of trying to stick it out. Women as well aren't made to be anyone's punching bag.

2006-09-30 00:18:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

no one deserves to be abused physically. No one should put up with it but yet alot of them do. Its so sad. I think the abuser should be arrested. No one should stick it out and stay for more abuse. The answer is.......... end the physical abuse, leave!!!

2006-09-30 00:15:33 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 0 0

Nobody deserves any physical or verbal abuse from anyone.

If a wife or girl puts up with it, it is stupid. They should be arrested before they kill someone.

2006-09-30 00:13:28 · answer #9 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0 0

No one should be abuse in any way shape or form.Any one who is the abuser has to be sick and had awful things happen to them I think they really need help.And a lot of prayers.I,am not condoning what they are doing.it,s just that you know they life had to be hell. And you know the old saying Monkey see Monkey do.The abuse person well need a lot of prayers and train a new way of life.That is if there mind is still right.And by the grace of God they well.

2006-09-30 01:38:30 · answer #10 · answered by thelma_shane 2 · 0 0

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