My husband said he'll never move out to start our new family, our 2 weeks old daughter , him and I. He'll stay with his parents forever. I've been very depressed when I live with them. I am now at my mom's place. She's helping me with everything. His parents want me to bring my daughter back just one day to have her 1 month old celebration. How could I put my daughter's health on risk? she's too little for a 6 hours car trip. My husband and I were fighting. Even his parents fought over this situation. I told my husband that I really need our lifes back, our privacy which I will never get if we're staying with his parents. They always involve every single thing. They told my hus. that he's stupid for following me but he's not I moved from north to south california just because of him. It's really hard to take my daughter away from her dad and take her dad away from her life. I feel sorry for both of them. I feel so bad for not giving my daughter a daddy. She's suppose to have a family.
2006-09-29 17:08:39 · 16 answers · asked by Lilly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you did the right things tell your husband to stop being a titty baby and be a man he has a child and a wife that needs to be cared for first and foremost
2006-09-29 17:13:56 · answer #1 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is admirable that you want to do what is best for your child. You said you feel bad for not giving your daughter a daddy. No matter how far you move away from the man who helped create her, your daughter will always have a daddy. Yes, it would be wise of you to encourage a healthy relationship between the two of them, but whether you're 20 minutes or 20 hours away, both parents have rights to the child and it is up to both parents to enforce those rights. If he wants to be a part of her life he has that right but he is the one who must make the efforts to nurture that bond.
2006-09-30 00:33:46 · answer #2 · answered by PJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is not man enough to have his own family without living with his mommy and daddy, then your daughter will not be missing very much, will she? If she has you and your mom and is taken care of, that is all that she needs. As she gets older, she can develop a relastionship with her father and paternal grandparents. She will not be very happy and therefore it will effect her health if you are stressed out and depressed all the time living with your in-laws.
You are right to take a stand, if he wants a family, he will get a place and make one with you and your daughter, if he is still hanging on to mommy and daddy, then he is no daddy himself.
Hang in there and listen to your mother, she knows what is best for you, and therefore what is best for your daughter too!
2006-09-30 00:13:39 · answer #3 · answered by babydoll121070 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I am sorry that sounds like a bad situation. I think you have a right to your happiness and your happiness and your relationship should be your husband's top priority and it doesn't appear that is the case. I am not for breaking up families, but your husband isn't contributing his part. He can still be a daddy to your daughter and/or perhaps you will find a man that actually wants what is best of you and your baby.
2006-09-30 00:18:22 · answer #4 · answered by lukafoo74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your hub is not willing to sacrifice for you and your daughter and cant leave without his mom and dad, then he's not worth your sacrifice too... its good that as young as she is right now, you should be strong enough to stick with your principle of having your own family and privacy... he's parents doesnt have the right to decide for you whether your daughter should stay with them or not, its not also healthy for your child to grow up with an irresponsible dad so you better stay with your mom and show him you can live without him.. Your husband should be the one to do something about that not you. Just be strong and be positive things will lighten up in the long run...
2006-09-30 00:54:08 · answer #5 · answered by beehive s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant force your hubby to move out.my advice is wait. your baby will grow and a baby also needs her grandparents .think of it this way, your inlaws can take care of the baby while you work outside. as for your decisions, you have to make a pact with your husband that you will do whatever it is best for the child.you cannot run away from your inlaws. where ever you are they will be the voice in your hubby's head.so, set your foot down. whenever they say anything just hear it but do what you and your hubby think is right. i agree with you that it is too soon for a baby to go on a journey. tell your inlaws that your peditrician said that it will not be advisable to take the baby out so soon.blame it on the doc and wait for a month or so.be cool and collected.
2006-09-30 00:19:10 · answer #6 · answered by atahsina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I can understand that you want your daughter to know her father, and you want to be a family, I have to wonder, what kind of man lives with his parents after he is grown and married?
It's just not healthy for your relationship to live with either of your parents. You three need a place of your own to call home. Talk to him about how you feel. Let him know that you don't want to live with his parents, and frankly, you shouldn't have to.
If he's unwilling to make any compromises for you, and he expects you to do all the bending, then I suggest that you two go to counseling. If he's not willing to do that, then maybe think about separating until he sees that you are serious. He'll either come around, or you'll file for divorce. It's harsh, and I don't like to see marriages fail, but this is not sounding like a healthy situation for you or your baby.
A marriage is between two people, not two people and their parents, friends, or other family members. He's nuts for wanting you to live with them.
2006-09-30 00:16:50 · answer #7 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry you have to be put through this this is the happiest time in your life having a child. they are the ones who are wrong you have nothing to feel guilty about. your being the responsible one by not taking her on a long trip like that. they should come see her if its that important to them. as far as your husband you poor thing. this will be the hardest decision to make and a tough one to stick to but......hold your ground you shouldn't have to live with his parents. he wanted to be a father he should act like one not a little Mommy's boy! if you go back he will probably never leave his parents home.i hope you can be strong and not give in your baby deserves better then that. if he is not adult enough to do this then you do it you will be thankful you did. good luck to you and your daughter.
2006-09-30 00:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by lnay69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like him or his family love you!! Stay where you are, or even go further!! IF he's not man enough to give you and your daughter a home life of your own, then he's a loser!!!
You have the right to be happy!! Your daughter will feel and notice the unhappiness in you if you aren't!!
ALL kids do deserve a daddy....................but many and many don't have them in their lives. She'll be ok with having your love!!
Don't go back!!! NOT until he shows you proof he got you your own place!!!
2006-09-30 00:15:17 · answer #9 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 month old celebration??? Yeah... sure. That's just an excuse to get you back there... and if you go, they'll guilt trip you the entire time you're there until you say you'll come back. No good will come of this :(
If they want to celebrate, invite them to come visit. Since the baby is so young, that's what they should have asked in the first place.
2006-09-30 00:16:42 · answer #10 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband doesn't want to live with you and your baby, then I say give him the flick. Why does he need to be a constant mummy's boy?
Tell the family that coming for one day is too much of a strain on you and your baby, she's only young. Suggest they come to you for the day at your parent place.
2006-09-30 00:11:52 · answer #11 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋