I was just wandering how to let him know without words, that I am fed up, I hate him, don't want him around me, and don't want to talk to him. We have to exchange the children during visitation, and I don't want to see, interact, or have anything to do with him. However, I also don't want to act hateful, and cause any problems that may result. What do you think, is the best method?
2006-09-29 17:02:38 · 23 answers · asked by Evie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Move on. First step is to stop thinking about him. the rest will fall into place.
2006-09-29 17:05:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you either make the exchange be short and sweet or you have a family member or a friend do the hand off of the kids. its actually better if your able to so the kids see and feel a healthy interaction but.....been in the same situation with the same feelings you have i just had to grin and bare it for the kids sake and always made it short and sweet.also i would have someone else there at times of the pick up or the bring home time. might as well make the best of it till they are 18. good luck i no its hard.
2006-09-29 17:09:11 · answer #2 · answered by lnay69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it can be done without words, especially not in a hateful way. Send an email or call him if you have to - I would suggest something called "no contact." Suggest to him in a polite way that you would like to have absolutely no contact with him, that you just need space right now to heal, work on yourself, etc. Maybe you could tell your kids (if they're older) to just get out of the car and walk up to the house. Or if your ok with telling him yourself, just say you'd like the kids to walk up to the house alone. If they're younger you may be forced to see him during the "child exchange" lol.
2006-09-29 17:09:51 · answer #3 · answered by ~Lacey~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try having a friend there on the days you exchange the kids for visits, and let the friend be the one there doing the exchange.
Try and have the friend meet him at the door, don't allow him in your home. This way, you won't have to talk to him or see him on these days.
If he calls the house other than to arrange the visits, make quick excuses as to why you can't be on the phone. If you have caller ID don't answer the phone if you know its him.
Good Luck
2006-09-29 17:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you hate him you still care, just not in a good way. Forgiveness is a process. It will take time and work to get to a point where you are OK with the exchange. He is the father to your children so for their sake, you need to care, just not like you did when you were married to him. Deep breath, big smile and act like you are happy whenever you see him. Treat him like you would if he were a customer and you were a salesperson -- emotional distance. As my Mom says, maximum politeness minimum contact.
2006-09-29 18:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by Mos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u don't care any longer then why show him any emotions at all?? Just be polite and civil about it. U don't have to entertain him and u certainly don't have to have little talks with him. Just realize that u still have to have contact with him for the sake of the children but that's where it should end. The best thing to do is not to react at all.
2006-09-29 17:19:04 · answer #6 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you do have do deal with your soon to be ex for your children's sake.... Just bite your tongue when your children are around and discuss what is in their best interest.. other than that.... you do not have to talk to or be around him.... If it is that much of an issue try to get a trusting 3rd party involved to be the 'middle man ' for the exchange of the children
2006-09-29 17:07:56 · answer #7 · answered by oracle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Elect a family member or a close friend to make the trade off with him, that way there is no hostile undercurrants flowing around the children. I must commend you on acting mature about this, most people could care less how they act in front of or around the kids and would be hatefull.
2006-09-29 17:07:21 · answer #8 · answered by babydoll121070 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Show up to the child exchange with a great looking younger man and let him drive your car that probally got to my ex husband worse then anything i ever did was when i acted nice to him but let him see me with someone else and the fact that i was letting the new guy drive my Porsche really hit the nail on the head
2006-09-29 17:05:30 · answer #9 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
be civial if you have children they arent to blame for what is going on and act like a woman the reason i say this the children havent done nothing to be drawn in this as well act polite toward him to a point then let him pick the children up and smile as you close the door. my opion?
2006-09-29 17:47:41 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gently, if at all. Hate is a feeling. Fed up is a feeling.. Thinking is a good way not to act for now.
2006-09-29 17:13:42 · answer #11 · answered by Charlee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋