People say "learn from your past and move on". I was abused as a kid. What am I supposed to learn from that

Question

SORRY I FORGOT TO PUT THE QUESTION MARK

Answer 1

I also suffered from parental and step-parental abuse and what it taught me was how I did NOT want to live my life or treat MY children. You can't change the past but you can make the future different. Unfortunately not all people came from loving, healthy families, but the individuals who were abused can help others who are or have been and can decide to live a different life than the one they were raised in. That is a very valuable lesson.

Answer 2

Learn self mastery and develop an unshakeable inner peace.
Sometimes really difficult experiences are what it takes to build strength and toughness. That toughness may be useful at some point, but you don't want this abuse to harden you too much. Whoever abused you was probably hardened by something else
sometimes the only way you can forgive someone is when you see that same side of yourself and realize the path to healing is forgiveness. My reccomendation is to experience the anger so you can be real-you can't stuff everything. Then come to ponder
you don't want to hold on to negativity. Pray. When you find you have released all the negativity and come back to the inner peace you once knew before things went bad- you learn there is a purpose to everything. Its just easier when you accept it.

Answer 3

I don't think "learn from your past" is a proper concept in this context. At least, not in the way that it's phrased. We learn about OURSELVES by being aware of the ways it impacted us; often low self esteem (hokey as that sounds) & certainly an underlying anger for having been violated. Our behavior, our success or lack of it, personal relationships & much more are influenced by childhood abuse. I have substantial experience with people who've had this experience. The best I can say, is that--often--
after truly getting in touch with this "thing" that motivates us in daily life, not always consciously, we CAN get "past" it. Yet to say you should learn from your past & move on is useless, & uninformed (the most civil way I know how to put this)! I wonder how old you are, since it can take many years to realize the abuse was a HAPPENING, & you are who you are (or want to be) in spite of it. I wish these questions would give a little more detail, & I could be more helpful. May I suggest--examine your EMOTIONS--I can't stress the importance of keeping a journal,
in your stream of consiousness, no one looking over your shoulder, judging or advising, you can discover insights that will go far beyond this one issue. Living is, of course, to grow, & to thrive. I hope you won't allow your childhood abuse to "hold you back." The very best of luck...

Answer 4

I was abused as a child, also. Many people were. We have to learn to stop the cycle. We have to learn to be survivors. Just because we had a bad childhood, doesn't mean that we have to live a messed up life. If we do, we show that person that he or she won. We must rise above our past. Do not use it as an excuse for things that you do now. Make up your mind that you will use the experiences that you have gone through to make you a stronger person. If we dwell in the past and feel sorry for ourselves, we rob ourselves and everyone around us of our true potential.

Life is what we make it. Why not make it good!?!

Answer 5

There are allot of things that you can learn from your past, but to tell you the truith, ok? I wz abused & abandoned as a child. I was inturn adopted by people who are kind, but sure had funny ways to show it. I had to go through counseling to accept the things I cannot change, and to conquer anything good that I wanted. Sometimes moving on is quite hard, because sometimes we continously remember the bad., and never see the good. The good is we are not in the situation anymore, and we make life what it is. If you want good, you will work at good. If you want bad you will let evil surround you in everyday life & be that miserable. I have had a hard road, but it has made me stronger in so many ways. If you won't get mad, please seek a church & guidance ok, it helps so much. Not to preach, but I found the Lord early in life, and if I hadn't I would of turned out like my mother. My real father died when I was 5. So good luck, and try to see good, and not bad, and you will be happy! May God Bless You,

Answer 6

That you will never put your children in the same horrible conditions you were in. Because you have lived through abuse, you could possibly take that experience to help children who have found themselves in the same situations.

A word on your quote. I believe what the quote is trying to say is learn from YOUR mistakes. Obviously, the abuse was not your mistake even though you are probably still living with the consequences.

I also take the quote to mean that the lessons we learn from the past can be used in a positive way to help others.

Answer 7

Learn that not everyone is a nice person.
Learn that it is possible to hurt the ones you love.
Learn that this is not something that you would want to do to your own children some day.
Learn that life is full of ups and downs and for every valley there is also a peak.
Learn that what doesn't kill us, will only make use stronger.
Learn that you are not alone in this regard. I among many others have suffered through various types of abuse in our childhoods.

Finally learn that every day that you are alive is a good day.

Answer 8

My husband was abusedwhen he was a child, both physically and sexually (by two different abusers) but not constantly. He took a "Life Skills" training program run by madeline Duncan (Vancouver) and it helped him ALOT. He made many wrong turns and caused quite a bit of grief in the meantime, and it took him a long time to come to terms with it. It used to be on his mind all the time, now it only bothers him during the fall (which is when the sexual abuse occured.) It is a survivable thing, but its a long road, and he always wonders "what is normal". He's got a strong spirit, though, so I have a lot of confidence in him. After all, he is my sheltering tree.

PS: it's not your fault. It never was, and it never will be.

Answer 9

What you will hopefully learn is to break the pattern of abuse.

There is no excuse for the abuse that you suffered from. However, any hate that may still linger in your heart from the abuse will only act like a poison in your system. Release the hate from your heart and move forward. Don't let the person off the hook...hold them responsible for their action of abuse. Acknowledge it, remember it and show yourself that you will never, ever do that to a living being because you are better than that and you are a better person than the person who abused you will ever be.

Answer 10

First thing you can learn is that you have developed a GREAT potential to ask what to learn out of it ! Most people would resign to fate, destiny, will of God, past deeds etc etc...
Personal experience of abuse helps to understand better as to how it feels like, and motivates us to help other kids, in a way , and to the extent, the situation permits!
And so on... No experience need go waste. Even success tell us why we succeeded, whether it was a coincidence, better planning, coordination, etc...