We met on line..from opposite sides of the continent and fell in love. He ended up coming here and we eventually got married...6 weeks now. He still chats with women from before me and one in particular who he also met on line and he said he was once in love with. I don't like this at all but should I trust him and not say anything? He doesn't mind me having men friends and having a drink with them after work but I never had a "love" relationship with any of them. And he has met them. I don't want to seem like a jealous wife but it does hurt my feelings knowing that he is still in contact with her. What should I do? Tell him to stop? Or trust him to only love me?
2006-09-29 16:04:13 · 30 answers · asked by JANICE D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If u want him to give up his female friends then u should do the same about your male friends so that he doesn't hold that over your head when u get into an argument.
2006-09-29 16:33:44 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you tell him to stop, it won't anyway. If he shows no signs of jealousy with you then why are you? If he wants to elope with someone else their is nothing you or anyone else is going to do to stop it! My husband goes to the porn sights. He hasn't found the love of his life their yet so I don't worry about it. Don't trip so much, relax especially if he doesn't show signs of having a sexual relationship. Which I might add may happen but you can't change it none the less so don't get worried over it. Worry when it happens and not until then. That's pretty good having a guy that has no problems with you going out with male friends and having drinks! Most men would go ballistic!
2006-09-29 23:12:27 · answer #2 · answered by soniaatcalifornia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like trouble to me. Make it clear to him how you feel about this, but do it in a calm and non confrontational way. This is important because if he feels he's being attacked or accused of something whether he's guilty or not it will only push him farther away from you. Then he'll really have a reason to look on-line.
Tip. Try to find some other activity he can engage in that will take away from the time he spends on-line
2006-09-29 23:19:23 · answer #3 · answered by genuine1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were only recently married. Trust your husband to grow to the new relationship. As you are together longer it should change. You definitely should address the issue by involving your new spouse in your activities. When you are with your male friends, make sure you are paying the due respect to your husband. As time goes by you should always be aware of your spouses feelings and what you were brought together by in the first place. Your husband will love you always if you love him.. He trusts you to have male friends and you should do the same. I have many friends that the only way I can communicate with them is through the Internet, emails and such. trust your spouse and love your spouse.
2006-09-29 23:12:33 · answer #4 · answered by livewire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you trust him enough , you will not need to object to this. Since they presumably have no love interest anymore, ask him to introduce you to the other friends. He may naturally lose interest in these other ladies as he becomes more used to the fact that he is married. Keep a close eye on the situation, and if and when he shows signs of taking it to a more intimate offline level, then you can pounce and give him an ultimatum.
2006-09-29 23:12:31 · answer #5 · answered by breezetucson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think both sides, you and him, should cut the online chat. It's a trust issue, but at the same time, if he loves you and respects your feelings, he will stop. You shouldn't have to keep your feelings bottled up with how you feel about it. A loving relationship is an open honest one.
2006-09-29 23:18:59 · answer #6 · answered by AlaskanCutiePie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, you REALLY need to sit him down, and talk to him. Tell you that his actions are confusing you and hurting you. Ask him if he really oves YOU, or just loves the internet dating sites. This a fragile situation-if you suspect that he still lies to you(make sure he looks you in the eye, and speaks clearly. If he doesn't do EITHER of those things, TROUBLE!)-though, maybe he might have an addiction. Try and check into it. It may be a serious issue, or you might just have to find someone else... Hope it all works out. âº
2006-09-29 23:10:31 · answer #7 · answered by ♫Jessakiki♣ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wonder why he still is chatting with girls on line. How much time does he spend doing this? As we all know alot of cyber stuff canb be said on line..and it can cross the line of chatting to heavy flirting...I wouldn't like it..and would defiantly make sure he knows how i feel about it.
2006-09-29 23:37:24 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that this lady dosen't need to be in your lives. Let him know how you feel! He needs to stop not just for you but for him too!! and your marriage.
Why don't you get online and write her and tell her you'd prefere she not have a continued friendship with your husband.
So what if your felling jealous, you have a right to. She can be only trouble. Let your hubby know this.
2006-09-30 00:30:17 · answer #9 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you need talk to him. see what's up. just confront him on the situation & tell him how you feel. but make sure he knows that you trust him. just simply tell him that it bothers you a bit & you would like if he would cut down on the on-line chatting. i'm sure he'll understand. try to keep a balance between how much you talk to your guy friends & how much he talks to his female friends. if he really loves you then he'll get where you're coming from.
2006-09-29 23:13:33 · answer #10 · answered by BravesGirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋