Adults only: Help me put him in his place?

Question

I recently dated someone and after it didn't work out, we stopped talking for a little while. We finally made contact a month later and I figured we could salvage a friendship out of it. He had recently gotten a new job, but since he just started, he wasn't going to get a paycheck for about three weeks. I helped him out by paying a couple bills (about $300) and now he has disappeared!! I am always there for my friends, and unfortunately he took advantage of my good nature. (I know...live and learn). I can live without my money, but I shouldn't have to. Any ideas for either getting it back or getting revenge? I don't want to do anything horrible, but I just want to put him in his place.
P.S. Don't lecture me about how I shouldn't have let him borrow money. I realize it was a mistake, thanks.

Answer 1

Obviously this loser cannot even disappear very well it are trying to get revenge.
What do you consider his place to be? He asked for help - you gave it. You were open to be friends - he was? He's a jerk, granted, but do you want to be a jerkess?
Baby, life has a lot of relationships. You are not going to get the money back, so why keep paying him the satisfaction of being irritated? Have you been upset 30 hours yet - good, you're paying him 10$ an hour...
Gloat revenge is vastly overrated and damaging to future relationships.

Answer 2

Bella,
You sound like a very nice person. Unfortunately, this guy chooses to be a jerk. His loss.

As far as getting even with him, I'd let it go. Are you prepared for this situation to escalate into something more than you're ready to deal with? You do something to "even the score", then he tries to "one up" you, and so on, and so on.

Kill him with kindness. Don't say anything bad about him to mutual acquaintances. Eventually, he'll either apologize and make things right with you, or he'll always be a bum, and no amount of coaxing on your part will change him.

There is a concept called Karma. I am a firm believer in it. Your good deeds will one day be rewarded. What goes around, comes around. Just as you'll be rewarded, he'll earn punishment for his misdeeds to you. In the end, if you handle it the way I'm suggesting, you'll be viewed as the better person.

Be Strong, and Good Luck,

Repoman

Answer 3

Im sorry that someone took advantage of your good nature. I know what it feels like, a big kick in the ***. The only advise i have to give is believe in karma, what comes around does go around and one day he will get his only it will be 10 fold and you can just sit back and watch it all unfold. But always remember Revenge is dish best served ice cold and if you get an opportunity dish it out sister.

Answer 4

If you try and get revenge you will probably feel guilty because you sound like a nice person so I don't suggest that. Realistically, I know that $300 is a lot of money but you can somehow rationalize with yourself that it cost you that much to get this person out of your life. If you decide to try and get the money back there's always Judge Judy :-) (or even your local civil court system). Good luck.

Answer 5

Short of locating him and asking for it I don't know what you can do. It is my policy when it comes to friends, that if I "loan" them money I don't really expect to get it back. If I do its a great deal, and if I don't well I was generous and assisted them in a time of need.

If you wish to get money back, the best thing to do is draw up a contract, even if it is a "friend", that way all parties are clear in what is expected.

You could take out a half page add in the newspaper asking him to return your money, you could call him and suggest a date and spend it at an expensive restaurant and outing, but I suggest you just consider it a payment in learning.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Talk about taking a walk down memory lane. I've been in your shoes honey. I'm just a giving person, as you probably are. Although I believe in Karma, there is a way to make that Karma come around a little faster. Get in contact with him again. Make it clear that you aren't interested in the money, but that you missed his companionship. Then invite him out one night with all your girlfriends. Tell him that you want to run a tab and pay in cash, but they need a credit card to hold but you forgot yours, so you'll need to borrow his. All night, have him go and get everyone's drinks. Then when it's time to close out the tab, make your exit and leave him to settle up. They can't stop you, he's the one who's been getting all the drinks and putting it on "the tabl"...which in this case, happens to be his. Then when you are down the road...call him and say "Oh? Did I forget to pay? Hmm sounds awfully familiar. Gee honey, I think we're even!"

Answer 7

No lecture here you were just trying to help a friend and he took advantage of you,since it was a loan and not a gift you could try small claims court or when you run into him again even if you arent going to take him to small claims court mention it to him if he doesnt wotk out some typr of agreement to return your money to you in full.

Answer 8

Just write him off. You won't get your money back. Revenge won't get you anywhere. There will be another day when he will show up again and want more money or whatever. You can just tell him to take a hike. You don't want to lower yourself to his level. There aren't many nice people left in this world and I'd hate to see another turn mean. (Mean people suck!) Anyway, I hope you can move on and keep being yourself. Revenge may be sweet but it won't last.

Answer 9

Unless u have a written agreement for the money and when he's supposed to pay it back, it's going to be hard to get it back if he decides he doesn't want to pay u. Don't waste your time on revenge as it has the potential to backfire on u.

Answer 10

Honey don't worry about revenge. Cause I'm willing to bet you he will need you again. And when he do tell him to go to hell. Cause you was being a friend to him and he use you. God don't like ugly and he don't care anything about pretty. And he will make it work out where homeboy would have to come back to you for something.