Should I run away?

Question

I'm 21 and I've fallen in love with a guy whose 28.Im from a wealthy,strict and conventional family.I was caged and suffocating in this world,until...I met SW. SW is a painter and I'm a writer(well,I want to become a writer)And he opened up to me a world of freedom and passion,unlike the emotionally cramped and restricted world I lived in.For a while,I tried to reject this affection for him by trying to fall in love with this snob my parents set me up with.But I couldn't subdue my affection for him,which soon grew into love as we spent more time with each other.I'd write in the forest,and he'd paint me.But then when my parents found out that there was something going on between us,they tried to seperate us,and my father threatened to disinherit me.So yesterday night,SW asked me to run away with him and get married.But when I was about to sneak out of the house,I felt myself being unable to pass through my house doors,as if I couldn't free myself from this cage made by my parents

SW said he'd give me time to think of running away.But I'm afraid to runaway from my life of comfort,however shallow and restricted it may be.I'm imprisioned by the fear of the unknown.I don't know whether to follow my reason (that though SW can provide for me,and that we won't starve to death,I'll never get comfort rendered by wealth) and passion. Whether to follow my sense or sentiment.

Answer 1

Its scary, because your parents provide you with so much comfort. How will you support yourself if things don't work out? All these sudden doubts. You don't have the confidence in yourself to make a go of it. Maybe you better plan a bit.

Answer 2

Talk to your parents. They love you and want what's best for you, though it doesn't fee like it right now. Give them a chance. Men come and go, but family is forever.

If you want to be a writer, go for it. If you have to, write under an alias. The kind of stories you write should help you narrow down a publisher. Write them, send ONLY the first chapter, and ask if they'd like to see the rest. If they do, go for it.

As for SW, if he loves you, he'll understand your need to talk to your family before you make the decision on whether to go with him or not. My bf wanted me to go to South Carolina with him, but he didn't plan out where we'd go, where we'd stay, how we'd live or any of that pratical stuff.

In all seriousness, give your parents another chance. Your father is threatening you with disinheritence because he's afraid you'll leave. It's a way to keep you with him. He's just as scared that you'll take off with SW as you are to leave everything you've known. Give it some time, sit down and talk to your parents, and see what happens.

Answer 3

Honey, if this guy is 28 , then he should be mature enough to help you make the right choices. Taking you away from your family is not the right answer. Your parents are just trying to do whats best for you. Do you really want to see someone who can never go around your parents. Im 25 and trust me, I've been in a similar situation and the guys never turn out the way that you thought. It may seem like a good thing now but your laying to much on the line. You may not see it now but if he really cared that much for you then he won't want you to make that choice. If you felt that bad when you were getting ready to go yesterday , you answered your own question. no matter what anyone else tries to tell you , you have to learn on your own. the grass is never greener on the other side. your parents also seem like they are a bit too strict , but being strict means they want nothing good for you and they don't want you to get hurt. They aren't doin it to make your life hell, but they must be doing this in the wrong way also. maybe if you sat down and talked about everything. I know that it seems like the last thing you want to do, but communication is the best way to help any sitution out. maybe just talk to your mom. woman are more understanding. well I hope you have good luck and make the right decision.

Answer 4

That's quite a story. Sounds like a work of fiction to me, either way your a genius. I had a similiar experience with an ex and her well to do parents in Portland Oregon. What a time it was! We were living in Missoula at the time. Weekends spent on the Oregon Coast at the beachhouse, elaborate weddings, fancy restaurants, everything was paid for, but in the end my dream became a nightmare. What else can I say? You have a flare for the dramatic. If you want to study creative writing I strongly recommend the program at the Univ. of MT. Good luck with your romance novel.

Answer 5

When you run away from something, you inevitably run to something. You suggest that your life of wealth and privilege has its advantages, but your heart belongs to the freedom you have found with your new love. I am repeating this so that it is clear to you exactly what you have said: you like certain aspects of your life now, but wish to escape the unpleasant parts of it and begin life anew.
While I am not without compassion for your plight, what you will leave behind isn't a cage made by your parents, but by yourself. It is a sad part of life, perhaps, that we cannot order exactly what we want and how we will love, but the point remains, you have done very little planning concerning where you will be going and how you are going to do it.
While no one should tell you what you should do, it is your responsibility to recognize what kind of life you will be living when you leave. I offer that you appear to be ill-prepared for the responsibilities of that life.
There are few things sadder than the realization that a romance he or she thought would liberate him or her has become merely another tar pit. The sad truth is that romance will not survive on its own without hard work. Even then it changes from the giddy feeling of salvation into a deeper more spiritual kind of love, one which is not much in vogue these days.
My suggestion to you is to learn how to open the door to your cage in your life now before you run blindly into a world which may be far more harsh an environment than you can possibly know. If your feelings for each other are honest, then they will flourish as you discover how better to deal with problems without running away.

Answer 6

You're only 21!!! I got married at 21 and it was the worst mistake of my life. You haven't lived yet. I'm assuming you don't have children. This is the time now to travel, make mistakes, work at McDonald's(well this may not apply to you) and go to college. How long have you known him? What happens if you run away and he is abusive? That's what happened to me. I am still trying to get divorced. You are 21- you can move out, get a job and write all at the same time. Why be dependent on a man to escape your so called cage.(ever thought that your parents may just want what's best for you and love you?)

Answer 7

whooo...this is a tough one. you are only 21 and are admitidly sheltered. BUT...you are an adult. If you can work it out to see SW and not leave your family, that is ideal. Can you move into an apartment of your own? Do you work? Can you get a roomate?

It is important to feel the power of standing on your own girl, not your parents, not your man's floor. Being a grown up is about finding solutions and compromise. I wouldn't run away, but I wouldn't stay a child at your parents either. It's time you became who you are...not for SW...or for them but for you. Cheesy, but true.

Have a blessed journey, no matter what the path.

Answer 8

Running away is pointless. Do you have any money? Do you have a place to live in? What will you do for a living? Can you not talk to your parents about how you feel? Think about everything that you will have to do once you are out of the house? Living on your own or with your boyfriend will not be easy.

Answer 9

This is shallow, but stick with the cash. A better reason is that he's older than you and you have a lot of growing up to still do if you're asking this question.

Answer 10

listen to the song SHE"S LEAVING HOME Beatles sgt peppers lonely hearts club band not the wild child thing from the Doors unless you like staring into the hollow idol's SW eyes.