is my marriage over?

Question

we have been married for 2 years he has 2 kids one who is 5 and lives with us i feel im being taken advantige of because i care for his kids with no help,when she goes to bed 50 percent of the time he goes out to his friends and leaves me home with her,we barely have a sex life maybe 2 maybe 3 times a month he says its him not me thats why we dont have it i dont know wether to walk away or stay

i dont feel that im happy,i could care less if we have sex at all,he temped to cheat on me 2 times before we got married he denies it but he did try to cheat

Answer 1

A marriage is not over until papers are signed. If you care about him explain how you are feeling and that you feel as if you are there to watch the child and it bothers you even though you love the child. If he loves you things will change. If it doesn't give him the number for a babysitter and get the hell out. Life is too short not to have love,comfort,company,and most of all respect.

Answer 2

With blame game you can not go very far.In marriage lot of sacrifice is required from both sides.You said you care for his kids , so that makes one feel that you don't take them as your kids.If you reflect deeply when you are alone not one sided but your life as a whole and what all you can do to keep your married life intact (sex is not the only priority it is part and parcel of the joint-venture),then you may come upon some idea on which you will be able to act upon and main focus should be how much you can change yourself.Other things will change accordingly in your favor.Think about it.Breaking away is very very easy but since your children's future is also involved , this is a very crucial stage in everyone's married life you got to surpass it with great care after some times things will come back to normal.

Answer 3

Your marriage isn't over yet.
See if he will go to counselling with you. If he won't, then go by yourself for a few months and see how you really feel about your marriage.
2 or 3 times a month is actually fairly normal for a couple married for two years (unfortunately).
Good-luck. Stay strong.

Answer 4

A guy taking the blame for the lack of sex? That's a red flag, honey.
My gut says he's not being faithful to you.
You have to sit him down and get the truth because he owes you that at the very least.
Walk away with your pride intact, sweetheart.

Answer 5

oh wow girl. I think by the way it sounds that he is stepping out on you.if he tried or did cheat before you got married then marriage isnt going to stop him.. before we accuse him of anything have a blunt talk w/ him and tell him that you need him home more or that you need to have nights out w/ your friends that your his Wife not babysitter. and tell him your horny and need it from him just too see his reaction. if he turns you down then Demand an answer to why. and be blunt to him about how your are not happy and that you want to work things out but that its going to take both of you to do it......marriage is hard you both have to work at it to make it last.

Answer 6

i hate to be soo brutally honest .......but if he did "try" to cheat then he probably has you have a future and you don't want to look back and say i wasted 5-10 years of my life rather 2.......sorry honey but t usually gets worse not better. Now is the time to think of you (noone else will)

Answer 7

Ask if he will go to counseling with you. If not dump him. Why does he leave you home with the kids all the time. Why do you put up with that? Just say you aren't doing it or simply say you will only do it once a week, etc.

Answer 8

Yes

Answer 9

Your marriage is not over. As for solutions, they are not as forthcoming. The best thing you can do is communicate, really communicate with your husband. He needs to hear, know, and understand how you feel. He needs to be willing to do something about it in a positive way.
The other part of really communicating: you need to really hear, know and understand his feelings. He needs you as much as you need him. He might not want to admit it, but it is true.
Some counseling would be beneficial. Be warned, both of you have to be willing to work at this relationship. He has to know your needs to meet them. You have the same responsibility to him. Neither of you can read minds. Work, work and more work. It really is worth it.

Answer 10

Give him the ultimatum. Put out or get out. You can't feel unappreciated in your own home. Tell him how you feel and ask him to change his behaviours so it no longer makes you unhappy. I don't know all the story so I really shouldn' judge.