It's been a five year battle with my fourteen year old, who I believe have given up in school and who have given up mental because my husband, who is a stepfather to my child has broken down the character of my child which to me has become not an issue of keeping my marriage but a concern for regaining my child's hope back. Someone tell me their opinion, because this is my child's third runaway.He has runaway right now even as we speak.My child was punish because he is failing in school. His dad's anwer was to punish him by witholding food, so my child ranaway! To his grandmother's house. MY child told me he cannot take it anymore living in our household.Getting therapy for my child I have tried, the problem is my husband is the one who doesnot know how to deal with not getting angry. He have had counseling with this issue but, when it come to my children he have a big problem.He uses methods that was used on him as a child which was not a pleasent memory and I dont agree with him.
2006-09-29 14:57:43 · 14 answers · asked by Samantha c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Stepfathers suck. I speak from personal experience. I would have gotten along just fine without him. Hope that helps.
2006-09-29 14:59:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Withholding food from a child is not a good way to teach a child ANYTHING. Since he is not the child's natural father ,the choice on how to discipline the child should be your choice. If your husband can not or will not change the way he is with your children,your choices are to at the very least,have the child live with his grandmother if she will take him.Maybe some time apart will help ease things,and if the child can bring up his school work without the harsh methods that the step-father was using than maybe he will see that there is a better way. IF this fight has bean going on for 5 years it is not likely to change,and leaving your husband may be the best answer.
2006-09-29 15:10:54 · answer #2 · answered by blondecarpenter@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband is being very harsh with your son.
Boys should have a man to respect and admire and unfortunately your husband is not the right man.
When you married him I'm sure you thought that things would work out well, maybe one of those things was that he would be a good father to your son.
Normally, I think marriage should be for ever, but in your case I think it is wrong when he is being so unkind to your son. If it is possible and you have somewhere to go, leave this man and live peacefully with your son. It will take time for him to heal and to trust you again (you married the man who has been cruel to him), but I'm sure he will understand.
Good Luck!
2006-09-29 15:51:45 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
withholding food and other harsh measurement as punishment are abuse plain and simple your husband is breaking your child's spirit its up to you if you leave or not your husband went through this method he's using he should know the harm he's causing.. I'd leave him but I am not you ..your child needs to know that you are there for him tell your husband you wont stand for the way he treats your child anymore maybe this will have an effect on him ..if not well again you decide to stay or leave
2006-09-29 15:07:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE HIM NOW! Withholding food from a kid is ABUSE. There is no arguement. There is no compromise. You must leave him for the sake of the child. I am sorry you have had to go through this. But leaving him is the only way. Don't look back. Best wishes to you and the children.
2006-09-29 15:51:36 · answer #5 · answered by sublimetranscendental 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your son's situation. I am in my 20's now. If you don't leave this man you may as well get a gun and kill your son. On the inside he is probably dead already. I have carried years of hate, resentment ect ect and have been through suicide attempts, drugs, anti depressants ect ect. You sending your son to councilling is a big mistake. I'll be blunt..... You are failing him as a mother. You are obligated to stop thinking of yourself and start protecting your son. otherwise kiss him goodbye........if, and thats a big 'if' he comes out of it as a functional adult he will still hate you and you will never see him or future grandkids...My mother failes me and ruined my life, i've got myself together now but it will be a cold day in hell before i ever see her again.
2006-09-29 15:13:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe you let this continue. It sounds like the man should be in jail for child abuse & you should be in jail for allowing him to treat your son the way he does.
Of course you should leave & get your son away from him!! Take him and you both run away to grandma's house!
Just hope that he hasn't done permanent damage to your son!
2006-09-29 15:02:12 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your child, not his. You should be the one to determine proper punishment. Your husband needs more professional help and if leaving him is the only resolve, then I would suggest a temporary seperation.
2006-09-29 15:01:52 · answer #8 · answered by Tamara 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
seems that he is affecting th self esteem of your child and is cruel also.. withholding food is no punishment there is possible a criminal charge for that....he needs anger management and if u have tried that already then its time you be on your way..with your child.. maybe you can undo the damage that has been done already..or prevent it from getting worst..
2006-09-29 15:10:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, leave him. Do it for the sake of your son. No parent should stay within a relationship that is harmful to their child.
2006-09-29 15:01:18 · answer #10 · answered by aliciarox 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋