Should I Tell My Friend Or Not?

Question

So my friend is in love with this girl who has just recently become his girlfriend. And they've already gone through a lot. He has considered breaking it off, because she lies to him a lot and there was this whole thing that he wasnt sure was true or not.
But more to the point: somebody-a somebody i can trust-told me that his girlfriend has more than one boyfriend. I think i should tell him, but we're really close friends and i know how much that would hurt him, especially after they're just getting over their last problem and he's happy again. I would feel bad if i was responsible for causing him pain, but should i still tell him? I know she's just going to play with his head and mess with his heart.

So should i tell him that she's cheating or not?

Thanks
WhatsHerName

Answer 1

You should somehow "accidentally find out" when he is around. Like...develop a friendship with his girlfriend, and then be talking to her occasionally, and have her mention it, and then have your boyfriend accidentally find out.

You shouldn't directly tell him, because you don't want to get into drama. Yet you shouldn't not tell him because he deserves to know.

=) Good Luck!

Answer 2

Hi, WhatsHerName -- this is Buttinsky. : )

You can't tell your friend that his girlfriend is cheating because you don't KNOW that she is - you heard that she is. Okay, you trust the source, but that still isn't certain, first-hand knowledge.

Good news - it's not your job to procure certain first-hand knowledge. Here's the thing - he already knows she lies to him and he's decided to stay. His choice. Maybe stupid, but who hasn't made a stupid choice? He has the right to make his own choices, and he has.

You aren't causing him pain here - you're being a supportive friend, knowing your friend already knows his girlfriend isn't trustworthy and isn't ready to leave. So you wait, you keep your mouth shut, and you stand by him while he learns this life lesson on his own.

Will she play with his head and mess with his heart? Maybe. Her choice. She already is, which he already knows, but he's staying. His choice.

If he ASKS you (without your prompting him), then you can say, "Well, I've heard rumors about her, but I didn't know if they were true, so I didn't say anything." If something happens (that isn't you stalking her) and you find out first-hand that they're true (and I mean more than seeing her with someone - that's not proof there's monkey business happening), then you have a choice to make.

Yuck. Sometimes it's hard to be a good friend. Sorry you're going through this - will hope for the best. Good luck!

Answer 3

Ever heard the expression they shoot the messenger? Well it's pretty much true they do people tend to get angry with someone when they are telling them something like that about someone they love and blame them for what is being said because 9 times out of 10 they knew but now they have to deal with it because you have brought it to them. IT's not an easy situation to be in and I have been there it's hard to bite ur tougne and just let it be. But sometimes as a friend that's all u can do.

Answer 4

The problem with you telling your friend about his cheating girlfriend is there is no concrete proof of it. The somebody you can trust may be telling the truth, but the truth may be a simple misunderstanding. That somebody you trust may interpret the situations wrongly.

It's not a good idea to get mixed up in a couple's affairs anyway. If she cheats your friend would probably know sooner or later.

Answer 5

Yes absoulutly.
Well first start off by asking every girl to if they like ur friend and if they want to go on a date with him if they say yes great.
2nd tell him that the girl is eating his heart but tell it in ur own words.
3rd wait patience is the key how would u feel if ur friend wants to go on a date on the day he broke up with his girlfriend so just try to lift his spirit up.
4th then when he get's all happy and stuff tell him u hooked him up with a girl and she's really special but with a great personality.
and if he likes her then ur being a good friend.

Believe this worked before with me.

Answer 6

wow thats a tough one. Start off by sayin that what u have to say isnt going to good. Let him know what you know. He can react two ways: 1. Glad that he has a friend who is willing to let him know whats going on. 2. Upset and thinkin that you are tryin to hurt him. At times like this friends doesnt like to hear anything negative about the partners he or she is dating. Be a friend and a good one to him and let him know whats going on.

Answer 7

If this is your friend then of course tell him. But only tell him if you know for a fact that these assumptions are true. Don't let him walk around looking like a fool.

Answer 8

well that's a hard one well first of you could choose not to get involved and let the secrets reveal for themselves but that wouldn't be right! you could either tell him and he wouldn't believe you or he would and ask the hes girlfriend if its true she might lie and then your going to look bad but i dint know what you have to do its really hard sorry but i hope that that girl gets taught a lesson!

Answer 9

I think you should stay out of it even though that he's your friend but, people must go threw life and experience it themselves and when it all come out of the dark because it will that will just be another lesson he/she will learn from sorry just do not say anything

Answer 10

Hey, Lady - what is the point in telling him something he already knows? Being a friend means being there for your buddy, not confronting him with something he already knows. Just be there.