What would you do?

Question

If you found out everything you heard about one of your parents who you never see, was a lie.
Ex. I was raised to believe my dad was not a nice guy! (Not a bad guy, no jail or ever abusive). Kind of selfish and stupid. Then this weekend after spending time with him and hearing his side of the story, which i have to believe more than the one i was told by my mother, realise that everything my mother told me about my dad was a lie?!
What would you do?

Answer 1

It sucks to find out your parents are really people that make mistakes. I would just try to keep good relationships with both parents. Maybe your mom was just trying to be a good mom and didn't know how. This same thing has happened to me so I know it sucks. Just keep a positive attitude and things will be OK!

Answer 2

There is always 3 sides to a story. People change over years, and you will never know the truth. But now that you are older and make your own choices and come to your own conclusions, just let it go. Build a relationship with your dad, and just keep on building with your mom. You know your dad for who he is now and just look to the future not the past. Same with your mom. The past can not be changed and why dig up old things. You should focus on what you can do now and how to get close. I know how hard it is to get those past years back...and to try and piece together what really happened and who did what but in the end it won't matter, and you will never know the whole truth. So as hard as it is just forgive them both and let go and start focusing on what is to come. In the end you will be the better and happier person.

Answer 3

Nothing. What CAN you do? Your mom was obviously hurt bad by this guy and you got to hear about it. That is unfortunate. Or maybe your dad has changed over the years. It's nice that you get a chance to get to know your dad now.

Be thankful for what you have. The past cannot be changed. Today and tomorrow need the focus.

Answer 4

There ae always three sides to every story : his, hers and the truth. Don't be so qucik as to judge your mom as not telling the truth. They both probably put their on spin on the details and have selective memory about the situation. Accept that you will never, ever fully know what really went down between your parents and then, let it go. There is nothing you can do about the past to change it but what you choose to do now will affect your future with your parents.

Answer 5

It's pathetic and inappropriate for adults to say negative things about the other parent, period. I would tell both parents that you don't want to hear about it and refuse to listen. There are 3 sides to this story, mom's, dad's and the truth. You should form your own opinion based on what you see and how you are treated.

Answer 6

I would just be glad that I knew the truth now and could begin a good relationship with my dad. Your mom might have had reasons for telling the lies, and even if she didn't, what's the point in harming your relationship with her? Be glad that you have a relationship with both parents now. Forgiveness is hard, but it's almost always the best path.

Answer 7

Need to ask you mother why she told you these things, but you must be understanding, you don't know what she was feeling when they split up, she could have been very angry with and she wanted him to hurt as much as she did. So listen to her side, even though you may not agree with it. She made the best choice she did at the time.

Answer 8

i would confront your mother. a lot of the time one parent will tell a child lies about the parents that is not around for one reason of another. she might have done it for her own selfish reasons or she might have thought she was protecting you in a way. whatever the case is, now that you have heard his side of the story, you need to go back and get hers.

Answer 9

First spend more time with your dad. Second, forgive your mother. Start a new life with both your parents. Best of luck to you.

Answer 10

dont hate your mom too much ..maybe she had her heart broken and is still feelin some resentment towards your dad...its good that u r now grown enough that u can make your own decision about what happened... try to make up for lost time your dad will appreciate it because he obviously still wants to be with you..i dont kno how old u r now but its never too late to make up lost time...just let your mom understand that u will be spending more time with your dad from now on..