Could there be something going on?

Question

My husband is of a very free nature. He has always had many friends. And I trust him a lot. But recently there were many rumours about him and a woman...that they have an affair. He says there is nothing to worry. I spoke to her once and told her not to bother us. She calls everyday and i wonder if what others say is true. :( .... i want to trust my husband but my gut does not seem to agree this time. What should i do?? Could there be something going on? I feel sad.

Answer 1

megh, the first rule of marriage is to protect your marriage at all cost... and judging by what you wrote, your husband has breeched your marriage vowles. i dont know if your husband is cheating, but you know!! you already know the answer but i get the picture that either your convincing yourself of somthing to protect your life as you know it ( whether for the kids or the money) my best friend before i met my wife was a female, but my wife and i agreesd to protect us and to remain beyond repraoch. i will never be cuaght alone with another woman becuase it means my wife could suspect somthing. and the same was about her as she had a close male freind who she talked to about every aspect of her life, and she pulled away from him aswell. we all converse still but there is no secrets and nothing we do to be cuaght in a suspect situation.... we talked alot and what we decided was the facts of life is if my wife and i are mad at each other or are in a low point the grass looks greener on the other side and we then subject ourself to temptations.. i have learned over many years if somthing i do looks suspiciouse then i welcome my wife to check it out (spy, if you will) she has been known to look at my phone bills talk to people i know , read my email, check the computer for history and other things and my feelings are not hurt. its the nature of protecting ones self and she should. always validate your feelings of distrust but learn from them if he continually proves he is trustworthy then you have to give some slack other wise you have every right to investigate as its your life as well, not just his..... good luck and i hope somthing you read tonight helps you with getting some resolve

Answer 2

Some statistics say that 85% of women who feel their lover is cheating are correct an 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right. If you have suspicions, consider some of the following and be as impartial as possible

Have you noticed a

Sudden increase in time away from home
Decreased sexual interest with you
Cheating spouse is often distracted and day dreaming
Cheating husband or wife is often “unavailable” while at work
Cheating spouse attends new functions outside of work and wants to go without you
Cheating spouse leaves house or goes to other rooms to talk on the telephone
Cheating spouse uses computer alone and secretly
Cheating spouse asks about your schedule more often than usual
Mileage on car is high yet he reports only short distance errands
Clothes smell of perfume or cologne
Cheating spouse gets his laundry done independently
Unexplained payments on bank statements
Cheating spouse has more cash on hand without accountability
Cheating wife or husband has unexplained receipts in wallet or purse
Cheating spouse has suspicious phone voice-mail messages
Cheating spouse has suspicious cell phone numbers stored or dialed
Internet web browser history list (this is a record of web sites visited) contains unusual sites
Cheating spouse begins to use new or free e-mail account
Cheating spouse is suddenly deleting e-mail messages

Answer 3

I am so sorry you are going through this but it is a fact of life. We have feeling for a reason, sometimes our feeling or intuition is off but usually it is right one target. If you think something is going on, it probably is. What;s the deal with her nto respecting your wishes about not calling your home ? Speak with your husband about uit and the next time she calls flat out ask her if she is having an affair with your husband. Whne you speak with your husband tell him how you feel about what is going on and about her calling, ask him why does she call every day ? I hate to say it but see if you can catch him in a lie. If I had to guess, when you ask her outright she may confess to what is going on. Eitehr way, she shoudl not be calling your home and if it upsets you so, your husband should have enough respect and consideration for you as wife to cut ties to this woman. If he doesn't..that is telling you that she means more to him than you do. Good luck. Be strong. You're not alone in this. It has been going on since the beginning of time.

Answer 4

It sounds to me that she is a little to close to him, and they are spending too much time together. I don't know if he is cheating on you or not, but I too would wonder. He may be telling you the truth, so don't confront him in a condemning way. Try to sit him down and explain to him how you feel, and that you would like him to spend more time with you and less with her, and that you don't want her calling. I think I would also try to get more info from the "others" who say he is having an affair. When in doubt, protect yourself. Good luck to you, I hope everything will work out for you.

Answer 5

If you think there is something going on then you need to go with what your gut tells you.Talk with your husband and tell him what you have been hearing and that you would prefer that she not call as much see what he has to say to that. If that does not do any good do some checking. if I was you I would do a lot of checking. Good luck

Answer 6

dont feel sad if you love him an want to keep him then you need to *** home early one day an just pop up on him an see what happens. not cause you trust him that means he isnt having an affair.she calls your house to many times she is bold.yes yes yes there is something going on cant you see.watch him for a few days an see what happens.make sure you have all your facts together be4 you ask him again.

Answer 7

YES there maybe something going on. men WILL lie till the end even when it is beyond proof.
what would i do ? - well the kind people who tell me he IS having it off with her. i would tell them if it is true then bring me proof, a picture or something,THEN once i got the proof i would take pleasure in kicking his butt out, with nothing not even his clothes unless i had ripped them up first,
there is allways someone who will tell you were they are or get you a picture, so ask, BUT dont feel sad, just figure out how you can make everyone laugh at him, like they have laughed at you why he was with her,

Answer 8

There is absolutely no reason for another woman to be calling your husband every day. Tell her to find her own man and stop using yours! Let your husband know that this is hurting you and you'd like it to stop. You deserve to be happy. Definitely listen to your gut, we women have intuition for reason. Good luck and I hope nothing is going on!

Answer 9

Tell him if there is nothing to worry about, he should drop her as a friend. Yes there could be something. They know the rumors are going around about them. They have no respect for you.Let him know. She has no respect for you either. You asked her to stop calling.Did She????? Go out and get a male friend. See How Hubby acts. If he has a fit.....Divorce him. Because he has been cheating.

Answer 10

give him some tough love... kick him around a bit.. be rougher with him... sometimes that excites them...
add something more to your sex life.. cus usually when men cheat its because they are not satisfied with their sex life.. add some kink or somethin.... that'll make him more interested in you and forget about the other woman if thats the case... :)
much love and luck :))

you dont need to turn into a detective.. if you have a feeling that something is going on... step up your game!!

trust me.. this advice is better than counceling...