I have been madly in love with my ex-wife for 3 years and she has done horrible things to me such as cheating on me lying to me running away for a month or so at a time and I have always wanted her back, now however I feel as though i dont want her back and that I never should have been with her and that we are totally incompatable, and there is no way I could love someone who has hurt me this bad. Why then can I not move on why do i long for her to just call me or e-mail me and tell me she is truly sorry and that she wants to work everything out. These feelings make absolutely no sense to me whatsover I am furious with her and I honestly cant stand her with every fiber of my being.Why then can I not move on why does she still haunt my dreams and my feelings why can't I get her out of my life as hard as I try?I am at the point now where i don't care if she or anyone else sees this question or laughs at me or thinks I'm any less of a "man" or whatever I just want to get over it.
2006-09-29 14:15:44 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I appreciate everyones comments, but at the same time I disagree with a few of them especially the one who said i love her and want her just because I cant have her that is totally wrong in all aspects of my feelings I just want to be FREE thats all i don't want to love her i dont want to feel anything for her hate,love,friendship, nothing i just want to be free of her.
2006-09-29 14:33:15 · update #1
You probably feel this way because at some point in your life you gave so much love and attention to her. Maybe in your heart you are seeking answears from her.. Now you feel hurt and angry inside probably because you would like to know why she treated you bad. The best thing to do is to sit down and ask her why!! Ounce you find the answears you might feel better. But in order to close the chapter in this story you must find confer in your heart. I wish you all the luck!! Remember your life means more than that.. You must move on and find happiness and comfort in your heart. There is a lot of good women who are looking for a good man to spend their life's with. Don't give up and give your heart a chance to love ounce again.. But always remember you have to first love yourself and have faith in yourself in order to get back on track. It wont be easy but you have to be strong and believe you could and will forget and forgive this Ex Girlfriend.. Remember believe and have faith!!! When you find that special Lady to love and to be love you will see LOVE is wonderful..
2006-09-29 14:34:01 · answer #1 · answered by hazelshine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the other answer. If you were truly in love with this woman you will always have feelings for her. You as a man though want something that you can't have and that is how men are. You need to move on. It will be hard but it gets easier every day. Just start hanging out with your friends more and try to get rid of everything that reminds you of her. Go to a counselor as well that may help. You never get over it it just gets a little easier.
2006-09-29 14:24:56 · answer #2 · answered by h05ellasmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am in exactly the same boat. I have just recently seperated from my husband cause I could not take the bs anymore and I know i did the right thing but I can't help wanting to call him all the time and wonder everynight what he is doing. I am angry with myself cause I know it is so stupid. This person has been such a constant thing in your life good or bad. but for some stupid reason you just can't let it go. I feel like i am in mourning for him but the thought of him being with anyone else drives me nuts. I hope things work out for the both of us and maybe things do get easier. Right now i am fighting the urge to call and all that and I just try to think that if it is meant to be it will be. And like you , if he called me right now I would probably go running and it would start all over again so be strong and try to fight the urge. I am around alot of family right now and that is helping me. Plus I have kids and I have to be strong for them. It is definatly not easy. good luck with it all and hopefully we will be able to come out as stronger and better people for it.
2006-09-29 16:31:59 · answer #3 · answered by djc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am where you are now. And i have gathered all the info, and strength i can from everyone i know, including right here. The best information i can give you is that you HAVE to go through all of these emotions before you can reach that "limbo" stage. it may take months, it may take years. It is the grieving process, and it is necessary in order to move on. And it hurts like #ell. I am grieving. Laughing, crying, somewhat over the mad stage, remembering the good times, knowing i will never love anyone else as long as i am alive, and wishing he would just call...come by, let me know he still loves me. I feel for you, and i wish you all the best. You are not alone.
2006-09-29 15:30:11 · answer #4 · answered by Elly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long were you 2 together? Some say it takes about half the amount of time you are together to get over that person. However, everyone is different. Time does heal and there is no set amount of time it will take. In the meantime, take care of yourself, breathe, keep busy. You will find someone who will love you and care about you. I'm sure that many things remind you of your painful relationship. I hope you find someone to help replace those bad memories. It's hard, but remember, if you feel like you've hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up..
2006-09-29 14:45:45 · answer #5 · answered by pussnboots333 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. My ex of 4 years called tonight, and wants to stay here with me and my GF. I have custody of the boys, so I asked my GF, and surprisingly she agreed. It is hard to get over people. She has cheated, lied, stole from me and the kids, and even gave my money to her bf she was supposed to not be with. But, I still help her out. I can honestly say, I do not love her, but, I guess I will help her out all her life. Good luck, only time will tell what you will feel. But, in most cases, it does eventually go away.
2006-09-29 14:20:40 · answer #6 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will always have love for her but you don't have to be unhappy allowing her to keep your heart. its normal been there. every now and then a memory will come into play.. you can't erase life, but you can start over a new chapter.
You have to find away to remove the things that keeps you in a depress state.. until you get her out of your daily life you can't move forward you have to take a stand and say NO MORE....you allowing her to control your life when she doesn't even know she is controlling it..
Let go and do you.
2006-09-29 14:26:05 · answer #7 · answered by M M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have felt the same way about someone. he did the most horrible things to me, but every time i would hear he was back, i prayed that he would call me or just something! basically, i came down to the fact that while most people are good people with bad moments, he really was a bad person with good moments. it took me a long time to figure that out. and it was the good moments that kept me around because i knew that he could be that great guy that i always wanted. i made myself sit down and not take his calls anymore and not want to talk to him because no one had ever hurt me that bad. he wasn't the person that i thought he was or needed him to be. there is a point where you just have to realize that they aren't your time or tears anymore. the sooner you realize these things, the sooner you can find someone who is really worthy of your love.
2006-09-29 14:20:16 · answer #8 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my friend I think that love her and you hate what she does to you. This is very common you want her to try to worik things out becuz you might consider getting back with her. But the thing is, is that she doesnt love u, thats why she hurst you so much, my guess is to move on and find someone else, this woman is like a drug to you, she may feel good when she is around but she is very bad for you, and as much as u want desire her you dont want her around becua you know she is bad for you.
2006-09-29 14:21:33 · answer #9 · answered by babystuff6262005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get over it. Love her. It is good to love someone. Just realize that her nature is not good and definitely not good for you. Forgive her for what she did and realize that you are just not good for each other. Try to remember the good stuff and work on yourself. Don't call her. Don't talk with her. Make your peace with her and probably, more importantly with yourself. Her time in your life was necessary and it is now time for you to move on to whatever else life has to offer. Make sure it is something you wnat and for the right reasons. Focus on you for a while.
They way she treated you is her problem. It does not define you.
2006-09-29 18:13:13 · answer #10 · answered by Mos 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋