is there life for someone who is seperated and has 4 kids???

Question

I am recently seperated and having trouble moving on. He seems to find no problem with it. I still have an emotional attachment plus our 4 kids?? do you ever move on and get over a broken heart???

Answer 1

OF CORSE THERE IS , YOU MAY BE EXPERIENCING DIFFICULTIES NOW , THAT IS UNDERSTANDABLE . YOU HAVE 4 CHILDREN WHO ARE COMPLETELY DEPENDENT ON YOU,THIS MAKES YOU A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON TO AT THE LEAST 4 PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD.

THEY CAN ALSO BE A SOURCE OF COMFORT IN THEIR INNOCENSE , YOU ARE NOT ALONE .

WITH 4 KIDS I DON'T THINK I NEED SAY THIS BUT STAY PRODUCTIVLY BUSY,EVEN IF IT'S JUST CLEANING UP A BIT. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF,EAT,SLEEP,TAKE TIME FOR JUST YOU LATE AT NIGHT,DO YOUR NAILS AND TOES OR IF YOU CAN GET A SITTER FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS,GO TO A CAFE FOR LUNCH,ALONE. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF SO YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS.
I JUST READ THAT A BROKEN HEART IS AN OPEN HEART , ONE OF THE FEELINGS OF LOVE IS PAIN, YOU NEVER WANT TO EVER STOP LOVING BECAUSE YOU MAY BE HURT,THE HEART JUST GETS STRONGER. IN TIME YOU WILL LOOK BACK AND RELIZE ALL THAT YOU HAVE LEARNED ABOUT YOURSELF AND OTHERS.IT'S GROWING PAINS,YOU WILL BE FINE AND REMEMBER"TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF"........!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

How long before that empty feeling fades away?
You try to go about your daily routine, try not to think about it too much. But it keeps coming back, sweeping over you like a wave - that feeling in the pit of your stomach - you suck in a big breath of air. How long am I going to feel this way.
Some people use the following formula for getting an estimate:
A. estimate how happy you were on a scale of 1 to 3
B. estimate how physically attractive you found your mate on a scale of 1 to 3
C. add up A and B - and then divide this number by 2-- this will give you a number in years
D. subtract one year from the total
Example: Mary was happily married to John (she ranked her happiness a 2) She found John very attractive, a 3. John leaves. Mary's heart will take 1 ½ years to recover.
2 + 3 = 5 5 divided by 2 = 2.5
2.5 - 1 = 1.5 years to recover.
4 children are not problem but sometimes you will need more time to find good father.

Answer 3

Human Nature and simple logic would have you with absolutely no time on your hands to think about this with 4 kids. Those kids are your life and probably will be for a little while. God doesnt give us more than we can handle so when youre ready in his eyes,life will move on to another chapter. This is definitely where time will heal your heart. If and when the divorce judge gets thru with your husband on child support, his moving on is going to take on a whole new meaning, so just be patient, take care of your kids and yourself and good luck

Answer 4

You will. It takes time. In the past six months I found out my husband had an affair, we separated and divorced. He has moved on - plans to move in with the other woman in a couple of months. I know what you are going through - you still miss him. I still catch myself checking my phone logs to see if he has called.

Then I remind myself of all the hurt, humiliation and pain he caused me and our son. I remind myself that I deserve better. I now only contact him about our son and by email if I can. I do whatever I can to not have to see him in person. It is easier that way.

Give yourself some time to heal. Don't rush it. Try and keep busy - which should not be too hard with 4 kids. When you are ready to move on into a new relationship you will. The difference is you will be ready. I doubt if your ex or mine have dealt properly with the issues that arise from divorce. But they will. When that time comes you will have worked your way past all the pain and be in a happier place.

Good Luck.

Answer 5

Of course you do! Broken hearts heal with time. That being said, you have a really tough road ahead of you. You're not only going to be nursing your own broken heart, but helping the children to deal with their emotions as well. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and one day you'll realize that it doesn't hurt so much.
Good luck on your journey - you just have to truly believe that a better future awaits you and it WILL happen.

Answer 6

Yes but it will take time. (Chances are your husband lost the emotional attachment a while ago, so your not at the same level). Losing a husband to seperation/divorce is like grieving over their death, according to some psychologists I know. Don't expect to feel better right away but it will happen. Try to focus on bettering yourself (maybe reading informational books, losing weight, or getting a new wardrobe, your job, whatever you'd like to work on), or focusing on your kids. Hang in there hun!

Answer 7

don't rush yourself you now have to find the right person for you and 4 children which is going to be a very hard thing. Try to wait until your youngest is in her/his teens. I know this sounds like a life sentence and I guess it is in a way. Your children need you at this time and if you are trying to spend time with them and a new fellow it will lead to nothing but trouble. You have to look at it from the perspective what if you were single and met a fellow with 4 kids.

Answer 8

Regardless of your problems in life, there is always hope and life worth living. Your kids need you now more than ever, will take time to move on, but you can. Yes, a broken heart can always be mended in time, good luck and God Bless You.

Answer 9

Yes it does get better. When my wife left me....I got sole custody of my two kids on was 18 months old and the other was 6 years old....and it was not my idea to divorce she had to "find herself"....along with her boy toy lol.....anyways I thought that's it....I am staying alone and just raise my kids. Then I meet a GREAT lady who had 3 girls...gezz this sounds like the Brady bunch lol....any ways make a long story short 15 years later we are still going strong and I am SO glad that my first wife was lost and had to find herself. Trust me right now it seems like your at the end of the road....but you have just begun....just enjoy the trip and when you least expect it the road will straighten out and things will be fine *S*
Best of luck to you.

Answer 10

You will. Believe it or not, you will grow and this will make you stronger. Be proud of who you are. Of course you will have an emotional attachment, he was your husband and the father of your children. In that sense, you need to ensure you have a good relationship with him.

I think you need to treat yourself to a night out. Get dressed up and go out dancing....let loose, have fine and laugh. Life will go on, just be positive and believe in yourself.