dont they realize that it just adds insult to injury or is that their intent well in any case I long ago figured out my wife has been cheating and the funny thing is that the jokes on her .lol I really cant believe she actually thought I was stupid .
So when do I let her off the hook or do I continue to enjoy the guilty sex for since she started her affair it has improved and is why I 'm so reluctant for the inevatable but I want her to know that I'm not a fool I just don't care for her or her antics and I'm pretty glad she thinks she is hiding somthing from me and at the same time I want to tell her I know so I can get on with my life and find someone who will love me for me for I dont think I'm all that bad .
2006-09-29 13:21:58 · 17 answers · asked by matthew_yelle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
could you condense this, and ask again later. TOO LONG ~~~
2006-09-29 13:24:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why the cheating spouse will always lie?
Aside from the obvious hope that the unfaithful spouse can keep the affair hidden, cheaters likely have one of the following sets of circumstances that reinforces the lies
Perhaps they are involved with someone else that they want to be with all the time and form a new life with that person, but for some reason, now is not the right time or they have not managed to lock in that new relationship, so they wait. Telling you the truth, although an inevitability, would only cause them problems that they need not experience, or they are still unsure that the other person is totally committed to building a life with them, so they want to keep you around as a back up. It is kind of cruel behavior, but t is just one of the major reasons that cheaters report.
A second common set of circumstances that lead cheaters to lie is that they do not want to end their relationship with you, but they want to have that additional relationship with someone else that gives them some emotional fulfillment that they are not getting at home. Obviously you would not be remotely amused about the possibility of your spouse having an affair and they know this, so they lie and rationalize that they can pull off the affair without being caught. Many of cheating wives reports that they are too ashamed to admit what they did, no matter what the circumstances. They cannot live with the label of “cheater” and will deny the affair even at the jeopardy of their marriage.
Regardless of what’s behind the lie, most cheating spouses know how much it would hurt you if you found out. They know what it will do to you and they still go forward with the affair, but by trying to keep it a secret, they are also trying to protect you from the pain and suffering that would surely come if their betrayal is discovered. They rationalize this with thoughts like “he does not understand me”, “she could not handle the truth”, etc
You need to know the truth and have proof before anything else can move forward. With unanswered questions and potential lies surrounding you, you cannot possibly make the right decisions and heal yourself. Get the truth before you start making important, life changing decisions. Playing seek and hide game will not solve your marital problems.
2006-09-29 20:34:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Matthew,
don't you really want to know why your wife lied to you about her unfaithfulness? Not all married women cheat on their husbands ..nor do all men cheat on their wives. Your wife probably lied to you for the simple reason she thought she could get away with it. When do you let her off the hook? Ask yourself this why are you holding on to a relationship wherein she clearly has no respect for you? Also, why would you continue to have sex with her when God knows the diseases her infidelity could be exposing you to. You say your reluctant to face the inevitable...you mean you'd rather continue to waste your time in this relationship than move on and start a new life for yourself? By the why she is treating you I'd say she already thinks you're a fool. It takes strength and courage to leave a bad relationship and start all over. My advice to you is to take care of yourself as in stay away from this hoochey momma she'll probably not even bat an eye if she finds out down the road she's exposed you to Aids. Stand strong... don't worry about being alone..if you are a good guy someone will come along at the right time and you can leave this current nightmare behind you.
2006-09-29 20:54:32 · answer #3 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer without her knowledge and start some divorce paperwork. Get some real good guilty sex (if you'd like lol)...then (some time later) confront her about the affair and give some evidence and ask for a divorce. If she's still guilty try to get her to sign whatever you can giving you what you want from the marriage. If you pass up the time when she's most guilty, you won't get what you deserve out of the divorce.
Then move on to someone else after your divorced. Yeah it sucks waiting, but it makes you the better person. And you're a man so you'll probably find love easily.
2006-09-29 20:50:37 · answer #4 · answered by ~Lacey~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI!
I think it is wrong for men or women to lie!!! Period. But whewn they are married and have affairs it is unforgiveable. But the worst person is the one who knows there is a liar and keeps on with the person., You are bigger than that. DO not play her games. You are using her too and thinking that you are hurting her. Do not enter in her games.
Tell her you know what she did and she can go and have fun with whoever, because you arte moving opn and she has to get out of your life!!!!! Be the adult
2006-09-29 20:45:21 · answer #5 · answered by -------- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will answer your question with a question...WHY would ANYONE man or women still have sex with there partner if they know they are having sex with someone else? Call me weird but I am not into that sloppy seconds...or maybe even thirds! Who would have the last laugh if you get something from this guy that she is bonking? Why are you trying to support her theory that you are stupid?
Tell her you know what she is doing and to get out now....you will be hearing from my lawyer.
2006-09-29 20:44:05 · answer #6 · answered by oldman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women are just like that.....They really don't know any better. They are like puppies in that respect, you have to catch them in the act to get them to admit it.
It would be worth you time and effort to make sure your assets were secure and unavailable to her as well as having an airtight divorce case (hire a private detective) before you mention anything to her. Good Luck
2006-10-01 21:47:52 · answer #7 · answered by Bill O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well why would you eveer want to be wtih her if she is cheating on you i mean if i ever cheated on my husband it would be because i am not happy with my husband and we don't hjave the same relationship that we had before. ( leave her because you could have a true relationship and she can say anything like she wants to be with you and don't leave me i love you i do , all those things are just stupid and she should have thought of that a long time ago)
2006-09-29 20:48:04 · answer #8 · answered by izzydwight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Matthew, I am a woman who was cheated on. I always believed in my husband. A cheater is a cheater and who knows what drives them! Please get out of this relationship before you are so jaded that you see all women as evil. You are so angry right now, but ending a bad marriage and finding a woman who deserves you is a truly healing gift. Please see a counselor, if only to get the anger out. Good luck to you.
2006-09-29 20:25:50 · answer #9 · answered by swarr2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ur life in this world won't be long...remember that!...Keep ur sacred vows of marriage, stay faithful,and continue to love her like before (i'm sure u married her for love!)...because the blessings will be urs!....Pray that she will realise her wrongs and turn from her ways!...have FAITH and u will CONQUER this problem. GOD DOESN'T GIV U MOUNTAINS HE KNOWS U CAN'T CLIMB!....U b the MAN and stand firm and strong, don't be tempted to take revenge........this way she will know that u r the smarter, stronger one and she will lov u more than before! God Bless!
2006-09-29 20:31:53 · answer #10 · answered by Garden Isle Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. It is hard to deal with. I was only 3 weeks into my first marriage when I found out. I divorced and moved on. You will be ok. There are lots of great people out there.
2006-09-29 20:25:33 · answer #11 · answered by Fleur de Lis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋