I am a male "39" my wife is "47" and in Mid Menopause. We have only been married a short time. She is very withdrawn and non conversational about our relationship. She does not seem to be the woman I married. I would like to find a Postmenopausal female to chat with about it. But I would have to get to know the person as a friend before I could value any insight.
2006-09-29 12:13:00 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By "non conversational" about our relationship, I mean that pressing the issue of discussing us angers her.
Why I would like to find a Postmenopausal female to chat with about it? Someone who has been through it and possibly from her perspective.
Why I would have to get to know the person as a friend before I could value any insight? To know that I am not talking to some wierd person.
Am I looking for someone to talk sex with? NO! I do not have to meet anyone. I was just thinking about someone that could be like " my big sister" if I had one.
2006-09-29 12:48:38 · update #1
It is not cheating in the sense of committing adultery, but you would become emotionally intimate with this pen pal ... an intimacy which seems to be lacking in your marriage. Before you resort to that, I would suggest talking this out with your wife, perhaps with the help of a marriage counselor. It is okay to ask for what you want in a relationship ... let your wife know that you need emotional intimacy and conversation ... ask what you can do to help improve this between you two. Best wishes to you.
2006-09-29 12:17:21 · answer #1 · answered by J.Z. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think its cheating as long as it stays as a pen pal...having said that I know what you are going through as my wife is going through menopause. Right now she is having a LOT of changes that would take PAGES to type on here....so why not do what I did and search the net. There are LOTS of good sites that can help you understand what she is going through and how to handle this. I know right now it seems like it will never be better and all you want is the women that you married back....but trust me it really does get better. If she is mid menopause then she has a whole lot of feelings to deal with right now...and she is probably also worried about how you are feeling towards her right now. Just be reassuring that you are there for her when she feels like talking....and let her know that you still love her deeply.
Go do some searching on the web as I did....its a real help. Best of luck....and honestly it gets better.
2006-09-29 13:07:09 · answer #2 · answered by oldman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not talk to her about it and let her know how you feel or make her see things from your point of view. Why speak to some other woman about things going on in your life if you cant talk about it with your wife? Having a pen pal to talk about issues in life is not cheating but when the conversation takes a turn to more intimate content.... that I believe would be cheating.
2006-09-29 12:17:56 · answer #3 · answered by twinkledrops 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your intentions are not fair, your wife is going through what all women do at some point in their life. If you think a younger woman will be better, just wait until she hits it. If I were you, I would sit tight. Do you want to repeat what you are already half way through? Be open in communication, ask her if anything is wrong, be supportive. Maybe she feels you a little withdrawn and your both making too much out of it. Don't be afraid to talk to her, she is your wife after all. The grass is not always greener.....
2006-09-29 12:47:04 · answer #4 · answered by mansyroot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it isn't cheating. What you are looking for right now is a chance to understand what your wife is going through and for someone who is willing to give you that open communication because at the moment your wife isn't capable of it. That makes you a BETTER husband, not a worse one. She's lucky to have someone who wants so much to be a supportive part of the difficult times.
2006-09-29 12:25:01 · answer #5 · answered by A.R. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need a pen pal of the opposite sex? Why not of same sex? Maybe you can find a husband of someone who has gone through menopause. That seems more sane and less...uhhh...temping.
2006-09-29 12:20:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not cheating until it becomes intimate to the point of sharing things with her that u should be sharing with your wife only. Also, if u are doing it behind your wife's back and she has no idea it is taking place, then you may have a problem when she finds out.
2006-09-29 12:39:25 · answer #7 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not close to menopause, but I don't think it is cheating by asking for some helpful advise from someone going through it. I'm sure this time is not too easy on your wife either. I can't imagine, but someday I will.
2006-09-29 12:45:42 · answer #8 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not cheating unless you take it beyond a pen pal/ friendship status.
2006-09-29 12:15:51 · answer #9 · answered by oracle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes - you are seeking what you do not have at home from the internet and its not wise. try telling your wife what you want your marriage to be, or even try marriage counseling but until you have tried everything you can - do not look else where. besides these penpal relationships has a chance of progressing into more and more serious stuff. all i know - is that your wife is supposed to be your best friend and once that stops- its all downhill from here.
2006-09-29 13:12:30 · answer #10 · answered by arewa247 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋