We have been married for a little over a year. This is my secvond marriage and we both have children from other people. I am faithful and yet she always seems to doubt me. I don't know what to do. I dont go out with friends, I dont drink or go to bars. I am home with the family every night and on weekends I run my kids around to their games and activities. My wife is younger than me and she is hot. She is the last person you would think to be jealous. What can I do>
2006-09-29 11:41:37 · 21 answers · asked by billybath 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You will never be able to convince her. She is trying to control you with her suspicion. Get marriage counseling now or this marriage has no chance.
2006-09-29 11:43:54 · answer #1 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this jealousy popped up out of nowhere then you are the one who needs to be suspicious. Cheaters generally begin "suspecting" the innocent party once they head down the road of unfaithfulness. Classic displacement.
Other that that, you have to consider the fact that you are shortchanging yourself (not going out with friends, etc) in order to appease suspicions that have no root in truth. A big part of love is trust. Has your wife been cheated on in the past? Remind her that you are YOU not whoever it was that hurt her and that as her loving husband you deserve the same clean slate that you awarded to her when the two of you got married. Remind her all the reasons why you chose her and all the reasons why you would never cheat. Joke around if you must, tell her that you are entirely too lazy, cheap, etc to have an affair. Invite her along occasionally on your excursions so that she can see firsthand exactly what it is that you will be doing in her absence. You might also want to have a night in which you stay with the kids while she goes out with her friends from time to time. If she is saddled at home with the kids, she may just feel resentful of what she believes to be your freedom.
Also remind her of how attractive she is to you. Reassurance, even when it is needed frequently, works wonders. Best of luck to you both. :)
2006-09-29 12:35:40 · answer #2 · answered by A.R. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you are faithful, then dont worry about it. She obviously has some issues maybe from her past. Just keep reassuring her that you are being true to her and maybe one day she will learn to put her trust in you. I dont think there is a way to convince her that you are being faithful. It is something that has to be earned. In due time I think she will learn to trust you. Like I said, there is a reason for this and I am sure its nothing you have done, it may be something that has happened in her past that gives her this insecurity. Good Luck!!
2006-09-29 11:47:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
~Were you unfaithful in your previous marriage? (a good reason to be jealous and you may need marriage counseling for this)
~Do you have a lot of contact with your ex-wife? (it may bother her which you should talk about)
~Are you on the phone a lot? (maybe you need to be off the phone more and have the convo where she's nearby so she knows its not a mistress)
~Are you calling and saying that you have to stay at work late? (having to stay at work late could be concerning her, maybe if you had a way to prove you were at work, say showing her a paycheck with all your overtime hours)
~Was her ex-husband unfaithful? (maybe she's paranoid because she's been hurt before, she may need personal counseling for that)
But basically be as open as you can and give her as much info as you can, and discretely show evidence (don't point it out, but like I said, brag about your overtime pay by showing her the paycheck, or talk on the phone in front of her so she can tell by the convo its not a mistress).
Hope that helps, best of luck.
2006-09-29 13:29:26 · answer #4 · answered by ~Lacey~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to sound rude, but have you checked her out lately? Usually the one to judge is the one doing the deed. Also, if you met her through having an affair on your previous wife, that will always be on the back of her mind. Since you cheated on her, you could cheat on this lady now. I am not saying you did, I was just trying to help if I could...Good luck, and God Bless!
2006-09-29 11:46:03 · answer #5 · answered by yoohoosusie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Women are funny they are suspicious humans, you have been married short time, give it time. Her first husband was probably unfaithful it just takes time to get her trust. Be patient, she'll come around,
Best Of Luck
2006-09-29 11:54:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me she's been hurt in the past and can't let go of that, she needs reasurence, she needs to know you anit goin to hurt her, that you'll always be there for her. Things take time, and I know this is hard on you as it is for her, but dont give up, one day she'll trust ya.
2006-09-29 11:45:17 · answer #7 · answered by mimi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you unfaithful to your EX while with your present wife?
If so, that's the answer. There is some reason your wife doesn't trust you. Either you've done something, or she is unfaithful herself; therefore she thinks you are unfaithful, too.
2006-09-29 11:47:03 · answer #8 · answered by delmaanna67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Their is insecurity on her part. Which could be due to past relationships and others cheating on her. There is not away for you to really prove it to her. She is going to either need to go to counseling or face what is causing her to feel like this.
2006-09-29 12:34:02 · answer #9 · answered by Katricia R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is definitely her insecurities that she is going by. just continuously keep reassuring her that she is the only one and that u love her and the more time she spends accusing u of cheating the less time u have to have a great marriage.
2006-09-29 11:45:59 · answer #10 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋