I am going to marry a man with children. What are my responsibilities legally to his kids?

Question

My boyfriend has two teenage kids. I have none. If he were to become sick or unable to work, would I be responsible for his child support?

Answer 1

No, you wouldn't. His obligation to pay child support is a condition of his divorce settlement and has nothing to do with you. If his children are named as beneficiaries in his will, and you are named as executrix of his estate, you will need to comply with his will and distribute property or monies to his children. You actually have no legal rights or responsibilities where his children are concerned. If you have a good relationship with the children and the ex-wife, your fiance and his ex-wife may consider making you the children's guardian if they both die before the children reach the age of majority. That is something you need to work out and come to an understanding of, preferably before the marriage. They can each name you as guardian of the children in their wills if they don't survive each other. You should definitely talk with an attorney who practices family law to find out more - before the marriage.

Also, you need to be aware that getting married can make you liable for any tax debts he has even though you weren't married while the debts may have accumulated. You should discuss with your future husband whether he expects you to file a joint tax return and whether he is going to make you a beneficiary of his retirement plan or any insurance policies. I'll explain below why you should do this.

I was previously married to a fellow who had real property and his own home based business. I did the bookkeeping for the business, but not as an employee. Prior to the marriage, he asked me to be his partner in everything. After the marriage I asked him about filling out a partnership agreement for the business, and also pointed out that my future wasn't protected in any way. That I was working in the business office, and with the house in his name only, if anything happened to him I would be left with no job, no business and no home because my name wasn't on anything. He accused me of wanting all he had spent so many years working to accumulate! I was shocked! He made it clear to me that what was his was his and his children's, and what was mine was mine. However, he did want me to file a joint tax return so he could pay less taxes. I spoke with an attorney and learned I would be liable for the entire tax debt if my husband didn't pay it. Based on all that he reneged on after the marriage, I refused to sign a joint return and explained to him why I couldn't take the chance on being liable for his debts. The marriage deteriorated from there and we separated after six months, and were divorced within two years.

It was the most painful lesson of my life. In the beginning I was deeply in love with and trusted my former husband. Even during the divorce he told me he wanted to reconcile, but when I told my attorney that, he told me my husband was still pursuing the divorce through his attorney. It turned out he was dishonest in most of his dealings with me, including trying to hide motorhome and vehicle purchases he made out of state before the divorce.

No matter how much in love you are with this man, don't ignore your responsibility to yourself. Ask yourself, "Is he willing to sell his house and buy one that will belong equally to both? Will you have sufficient independent income to take care of yourself in the event he reneges on premarital agreements?" You should reconsider the marriage and postpone it until after the children are 18 and out of the home. Teenage children really need their dad and it would create less emotional tug of warrs between everyone if he has all his free time to devote to the children until they leave home.

Answer 2

No, you have no legal responsibility at all. However, when they determine the amount of child support that he has to pay, they will look at total household income. But then, they will also look at his ex's total house hold income.

If he becomes sick or unable to work, he should go to court and ask for a modification of the support order or the amount he owes will accrue.

Answer 3

mm.. I don't think that, if he should pass, you are responsible, they would qualify for SSI benefits in that case. However, you may want to check out to see if your income is calculated into their amount of support due now and if he is behind if they can attached your salary. I am not up on all the laws so you should be consulting an attorney to be more precise.

Answer 4

This kind of thing varies from state to state. You should ask a lawyer specializing in family law.

However, I wouldn't marry into a family unless I were fully committed to supporting them. What would your husband think if you told him, "Sure honey, I'll support you, but your kids can take a flying leap!"

Answer 5

If you file taxes jointly, your income is "family" income. What is yours is his, and vica versa. Keep seperate bank accounts, file married but seperate on your taxes, and you should be ok legally, depending on your own state laws. However, if you are taking an oath of "for better or worse", why is this even an issue?

Answer 6

Yes. Perhaps you can get around it with a prenup, but you can even have your wages garnished if he doesn't pay--and he doesn't even HAVE to be sick or otherwise unable to work. Your only recourse otherwise would be to divorce him or get a declaration of 'nonresponsibility for debt' from the courts.

Answer 7

you're not responsible for the kids unless you adopt them.

Answer 8

If you have to ask that, maybe you need someone without baggage. It is a committment.

Answer 9

Not in Minnesota.

Answer 10

U sure would!