what do I do if my guy does not want to marry me?

Question

We love each other and we are doing great together, but the question of a marriage, my beautiful "dream-wedding" is a problem for him. He was married once before for a year and for some reason he does not want to try again. I was married too, but I never had a romantic wedding. I don't know how to convience him. We are together for more than a year. How long do I have to wait? I am not an Amreican, so I am not sure how long people are dating and when is a guy feel ready to propose... Help me, please

Answer 1

When a man feels ready to propose is individual to the man. If you are marriage minded over loving-the-man-you-have -with-or-without-marriage minded then you may still be in for a wait or even a letdown. It's been my understanding that when men say they don't want to marry, they mean it. They mean it right then, when they say it. It could be that he may change his mind in 1 week or 1 decade. It could be that he'd change his mind tomorrow if he thought he'd met the ONE or, in his case, THE TWO.

Here's the way it SHOULD be: The relationship you have with him should be a journey that is fulfilling in and of itself. Each day should be a celebration of what you have with him, rather than a ticking clock that puts you, what you hope, one day closer to your dream wedding. If the relationship IS that good then you may end up married to him. But what if he wanted to marry you WITHOUT having your dream wedding? Would you still want to marry him? I'm asking because it seems you're putting a great deal of emphasis on the wedding, not a marriage.

If THAT'S the case, get off his back, buy the big, white dress, order a cake and have alot of girlfriends in matching dresses over for a party. Because that's really all you want if you're just looking for the dream wedding. And a ring, which you will, of course, buy for yourself.

I was with my husband for NINE years before we decided to marry. By this time we owned a home and had a child. Getting married was just a tying up of loose ends thing for us but the lack of a ceremony (other than at the Justice of the Peace) didn't take any of the importance of what we did from the occasion any more than having a big, fancy wedding would have added to it.

If this relationship is going great, what's more time going to hurt? I mean, if you want to marry him, I assume it's a marriage you want for the rest of your life anyway, right? It does no good to prematurely force a relationship down the aisle. A marriage is about all the things that are in place before a wedding date is set and, most importantly, all the things that are to come AFTER the wedding. Be completely sure of your compatibility before you approach the subject because a picture of you in a pretty dress with great flowers clasped in your hands really are not going to get you through any tough times you'll have ahead. There's just not enough substance in a photo album to make a marriage out of a wedding.

Answer 2

i did not procedure what gay changed into at the same time as i changed into little. when I said it, i did not imagine something a lot less of it. I only said a boy and a boy holding palms or a lady and a lady holding palms or kissing or hugging and idea that they were acquaintances. I extensively utilized to imagine that if a guy and a lady held palms, at ANY age, i idea they were a mommy and a daddy promptly, too. I also idea all cats were ladies and all dogs were boys, LOL... once you're youthful, you spot something or hear something and for the longest time, you sign in that to be real. would not count number what it really is, it really is only the innocence and shortage of expertise that only a baby can own and it takes position to all persons, as you will see from my admission. it really isn't any longer that you're an oddball, this changed into only the way you idea issues were like how i idea issues were. diverse, in spite of the indisputable fact that an identical. Being gay and speaking about it changed into by no skill taboo in my abode. My mum and dad were open about it, although my father does no longer believe homosexuality, he changed into by no skill crass or impolite about it. He suggested from time to time, a guy loves yet another guy and a lady loves yet another woman the way a mommy and daddy do. He by no skill suggested it changed into incorrect or terrible. My mom suggested an identical element. It changed into continually only no vast deal in our abode.

Answer 3

There is no definite answer to that one hon. If he's not ready he's not ready. If he doesn't want to marry and you do then maybe you need to figure out if this relationship is for you. Also, if you love him then maybe marriage right away shouldn't be so important. I was with my husband for 3 1/2 years before we got married. Give it time and be patient. Don't pressure him, that's the worst thing you can do.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Yes let's ask a question that we assume has a standard answer. Get married now, break up with him and marry someone else. No structure as far as I can see with relationships anyways but people think there is so continue to live in this illusion and have fun because when you learn the reality you can't get a date.

Answer 5

Wedding is an event where the newly wed people spend much $$ to invite others who will be sitting there critizicing you and others!! Save the $$ for better things for both of you!! Have a small wedding!

Answer 6

Well it's naturally to be shy of getting married again after one failed marriage under your belt already. But: Do you both have good jobs? Both of you have bills paid off and in good shape both financially (as well as emotionally) after your last divorces? If so..then talk to him more about marriage. If not? Then you're not ready yet - don't make the same mistakes twice.

Answer 7

You should never, ever have to convince a man to marry you; either he will or he won't. Nor, do I think you should stick around for years, giving him the milk for free until he decides when and if he wants to commit to you.I say this because I wasted six years of my life in a similar situation..stuck in a relationship hoping he would marry me but he never did. To think of all the other men/relationships I missed out on because I, too was trying to convince my man to marry me. I also know women who spent 12 and 14 years with men who dumped them for someone else..also hoping and being half promised to be married. I think the time limit should be one to two years, no more. Becasue that is plenty of time to decide weather or not you want a person in your life, for the rest of your life. I wish women would stop wasting their youth on men who just use it up and take them for all they have only to trade them in for a newer version while we hold onto our hopes and dreams of him being Mr. Right.Good luck, be string. If he is not the one, and if he doens't want to marry you, he isn't. You will find him but you will never find him is you are stcuk in a deadend relationship. Shake this relationship and go looking for the one you want.

Answer 8

this doesnt have to do with being american or not, when someone is hurt and taken for everything and feel like a fool, then it kinda makes it hard for them to recoopreate. If he doesnt want to marry you then i really dont think hes in love with you because if someone is in love with someon else then they truely want to be with that person forever and make that person happy, so marriage would be the next step, who knows how long this would take for someone to get to that level.


Have you ever heard the saying why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free??????????? hes comfortable wit wut he got and done want any more.

Answer 9

Just because he doesn't want to marry you doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or that you won't be happy..Look I've been waiting for 10 years and It has been the best 10 years of my life..Be patient with him or else you will start problems with you two..

Answer 10

baby girl, you didn't mention how long. it might be too soon. if not, look for a " dream wedding" in foreign country. it's really affortable. if the budget is the problem. you might want to ask him about the time line when you guys are planning to have one. if there is no answer, hmmm.. baby girl, prepare for a fight.