My husband and I have a great relationship, but we disagree on whether I should go to law school. I thought we agreed I could go. But he's said that it wouldn't make me happy and I shouldn't go. He does not believe I want to be a lawyer, and I can't change his mind. Now, he would never forbid me or outright say "you can't go," but he has made his opinion known. Should I still go?
Having a good career is my key goal in life. His too. However, he thinks I'm best suited to stay at home or do some fluffy office work that I think will be boring. What to do?
2006-09-29 10:26:34 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We're not having kids, so that's not an issue.
2006-09-29 10:39:37 · update #1
Life has no guarantees, however, that said, let us be practical. God forbid anything bad should happen to your husband, but a law degree would support you and your children(no guarantees that wont happen either!!) in a much better lifestyle than you could earn as an office clerk doing filing.
Get your degree and then you will have the OPTION of practicing law if you want or need to do so. It would be much more of a hardship if you HAD to START law school following a tragedy to your husband. Only YOU know what will make you happy. Follow your dream or you will always feel cheated out of it. You can still be a file clerk with a law degree and that is insurance against disaster.
2006-09-29 10:34:05 · answer #1 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wants to be the biggest bread winner in your household and he's afraid you'll make more money than he does someday. And how does he know going to law school and becoming a lawyer won't make you happy. It will if that's what you want. He thinks you are best suited to stay at home or do some flufy office work???? Apparently you have some Degree now because you couldn't consider going to law school without it, so you must be making a reasonable amount of money in what you are doing now. I'm not sure what's going on with him! Anyway, think about this. When I was first married and no children yet, I wanted to go to college to get a teaching degree. My husband talked me out of it. It's one of the biggest mistakes I've made in my life. I later went on to become a Paralegal, and if I had gone to college, I would have definitely gone on to law school. But by then I had children and the timing just wasn't right. SO, if it's what you want, DO IT. Don't let him hold you back from what you want in life. Like some of the others mentioned, he may not always be with you. I'm a widow. I know.
2006-09-29 19:17:21 · answer #2 · answered by Blondie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ever let any guy tell you that you can't accomplish something - because you can!
If this is really what you want, and you know it's what you want, don't let anything hold you back - whether its your husband, friends, family, or even money (get some loans, when you're a lawyer it'll be easy to pay it off). If this is your "key goal" it will make you happy, and staying at home or being a secretary will probably make you unhappy.
Just tell him you want to go, and start applying for admission and financial aid if necessary. Just keep updating him with your progress. Stay on top of it, and it'll prove to him that you can accomplish this. When he sees your accomplishment he'll be proud and probably even encourage you. Just remember, be a tough cookie don't even tell him you want to back out, even if it gets rough, law school is tough but hang in there, you can do it!
2006-09-29 17:34:06 · answer #3 · answered by ~Lacey~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, goodness sakes! M'thinks he's simply dealing with his own inadequacies... he feels that you might outgrow him, earn more than he does, know more than he does... he's afraid of having an educated woman beside him (how utterly stupid... he should be proud and bragging about it to everyone he crosses paths with).
Do you wish to live to old age and one day have to come to grips with the regrets of never knowing "What if...?" Do you want to reach a point in your life where you will be haunted by such doubts that begin with, "I should've..." "I could've..." "I might've..." "I would've..." It's an awful burden to live with, I know from personal experience.
You are relatively happy now... but WHAT if your marriage doesn't last, what if it fails, what then? You'll have no work experience and no education or training... ? We have enough waitresses right now... and menial office workers, too.
IF you were my daughter... or my niece... I'd say, "Go for it... expand your horizons, expand your wings and fly... don't let anyone limit you or prevent you from personal growth..."
If you feel that you have the talent, the skills and the passion to persevere when faced with the obstacles, impediments and barriers that you are sure to encounter... go for it. Even if you do not become an attorney (pass the State Bar), at the very least you will have increased your earning power in the work force, and can rely on your own merit and not depend on what is given to you... and you can make contributions to the household on equal par, and be an equal partner in the marriage.
2006-09-29 17:50:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look how hurtful would it be if you told him you straight disliked your husbands way of sexing you??? What would he say? What would he do?? He would be upset, hurt, confused. Why??? B/c you had jus attacked something very very dear to him. His manhood. The support a man and wife should have for each other is the exact same thing. If you have a dream, then like MLKJR take it. B/c thats what will make YOU happy. That is what would satisfy YOUR life. He needs to support you. Just like you support him with the things that he does and the career he is in. If he can't understand that then you really need to sit him down and have a heart to heart. Explain to him that this is the field you feel most comfortable. If he still can't understand that or won't TRY (Key Word), TRY to see you through your dream, then what will that do for you? It will shatter you. It will make you feel like you can't achomplish anything. You can't do anything to please him. And that my friend is the wrong answer.You know what you need to do. Jus do it!!!
2006-09-29 17:44:43 · answer #5 · answered by a1b2c3d4bj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your life, do what you want to do. I would never be able to put up with someone that told me or hinted to me that I could not do something that I wanted to do. Plus, you said it yourself, your career is a key goal in your life. If you stay at home and never go to law school, you may never be happy. Once you are done with law school and find out that it is not something that you wanted all along, at least you have the degree, but do not have to pursue anything. I would go and see what happens, your husband mught change his mind!
2006-09-29 17:29:52 · answer #6 · answered by ridingis4life 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think that your husband will love you till the end and not cheat you, then stay at home.
Because staying at home and looking after the kids and spending time with them are the most pleasant things to do.
If you work, then when you get old and your children move out you will feel you didn't spend time with them.
If you don't trust your husband then study. Because if you break up and become single, its better to be a lawyer than doing fluffy office work.
2006-09-29 17:34:19 · answer #7 · answered by Mr Business 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh my god, what is his real problem with this? I have to wonder if this is more about him and the fear that you won't have time for him or that you will have a better career than him. No other person can tell another person that doing what they want to do is not going to make them happy. He can't possibly know that and you have the right to find out for your self. Go to law school and figure out what you really like through experience, not through what you husband thinks you will like.
2006-09-29 17:31:19 · answer #8 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do what your gut and heart tell you to do. It is not disrespectful of his opinion but he is not you. He is being more disrespectful to predict what you are capable of or what you might enjoy doing as a career. Even if you change your mind once you've been in college for a while, those credits can be applied to another degree. Go for it if you want to get back into school. The sky is the limit.
2006-09-29 17:30:31 · answer #9 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to law school, I know you love your husband and value his opinion but you still have to do what you think will make you happy and if is going to law school then so be it just let him know that you love him. Question maybe the reason he doesn't want you to go because he knows what a success that you would be and he would no longer be the bread winner of the house hold?
2006-09-29 17:35:00 · answer #10 · answered by jai h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋