I planned to get myself pregnant, with ny fience. Will on reason why I wanted to get pregnant was 'cause of my father. But now I am confused 'bout it. Don't get me wrong I love my fiance, and I want to have his baby, but on the other hand I woeey what I am doing to hurt my dad. I love them both, even though they aren't the only mens in my life. I am the only girl with 8 brothers. I did this to get back at his dad. He told me I was a mistake, then later on he tells me that I am not his. Now I Ithink that I am truely doing the right thing. Should I keep baby or not?
Plus, on the other hand. MY fiance and I both had the same childhood. his dad has been saying the samething to him like my dad says 2 me. He and I planned all of this.
2006-09-29 10:15:47 · 16 answers · asked by carzy chick 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Are you really asking us whether you should keep the baby or not?
Listen, babies are not "decisions" to be taken so lightly. You planned to have this child. You created (by choice!) another human being-- a tiny, utterly helpless human being that is completely dependent upon you for his or her survival and happiness.
Now, if you think of this child as a tool to "get back" at your father, you are very confused. Children are precious creatures, tiny humans, and they should be protected, not used for revenge or casually created and destroyed.
2006-09-29 10:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by Lanani 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Should you give birth to the baby? Yes. Should you keep it and raise it yourself? No. I definitely recommend adoption. Abortion is murder- and killing the baby that YOU created by choice is extremely sick. I say this because you seem like an immature, selfish, confused person. Getting pregnant in order to get revenge is completely ignorant and selfish. You need to do some serious soul-searching and growing up before you get married OR have a baby. What your dad and your fiance's dad has said is pathetic. I'm sorry that you've been made to feel that your dad doesn't care about you- he's a horrible parent for telling you things like he has. You need to get it set in your mind (counseling may help) that you will never treat a child the way you've been treated.
2006-09-29 15:23:32 · answer #2 · answered by JustMyOpinion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a little confused, so if I got your story wrong I apologize. That being said, I think the ONLY reason to bring a child into the world is because you and your fiancee love each other and want to have a baby. Not to piss off your dad. If you feel that strongly about your dad, just don't let him in the babies life. Keep him out of yours for that matter.
2006-09-29 10:32:06 · answer #3 · answered by emmadropit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
raising a child is hard enough, why are you going to bring a child into a home where you and your fiance have alot of family issues. why not get those resolved before conceiving? i mean dont expect your or your fiance's fathers to change or anything, but atleast get to a place where you dont care what they say or think. get to a point where you know without a shadow of doubt that all that matters is you and your man. right now you are acting like a little girl wanting to "get back" at daddy. it's good you realize that, but work on it a bit more. and when you can make a decision without hesitating on whether or not your father or your fiance's father agrees or disagrees, then you are on the road to being a mature adult. and frankly issues with a neglectful, emotionally abusive father are hard to get over, so it might not happen over night. but atleast get to a point where he doesn't or can't hurt you anymore. take care and Good Luck, Lissette when you do have your emotions and lives in check, you will be so glad you waited to bring your bundle of joy in this world.
2006-09-29 10:21:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Children should never be used as a weapon of revenge. It sounds like you and your fiance both have some growing up and forgiving to do. You and your fiance need to sit down and have an adult, rational and selfless discussion about what would be best for your child. I pray you'll make the right decision and that you don't use your baby in this way.
2006-09-29 10:23:41 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First that was a wrong reason to have baby. Secondly if you are pregnant and have decided that you don't want the baby give it up for adoption. YOu need to have this baby and then decide the rest later. You should have never gotten pregnant for that reason. Do you want your child to think that you had it just as revenge?
2006-09-29 10:19:56 · answer #6 · answered by beta_slave 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's entirely the wrong reason to plan a pregnancy. That kind of "revenge" will only hurt you, and ultimately hurt your child. It doesn't sound to me like you are mature enough to raise a child. I think you need to let it be adopted by someone who is able to love it, provide for it, care for it, and give it a secure loving environment.
Besides all that.....you should wait until you can say "my husband and I" rather than "my fiance and I".
2006-09-29 10:25:29 · answer #7 · answered by kj 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want the baby then put it up for adoption. I don't think either you or your fiance is ready to be a parent. Its VERY hard and it seems to me you both still need to work on yourselves and your relationship. If you give the child up for adoption you still have the chance to have a relationship with him/her later on in your life. If you're not ready then it's the child who will pay for it. Think of the baby and not your revenge strategy.
2006-09-29 10:22:01 · answer #8 · answered by Nicole H 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt plan to get pregnant to hurt someone else...You should be trying to get pregnant so you two can have a baby..together as a couple...a married couple would proably be a better idea but thats pretty overated nowadays...You cant just say okay today i want a baby to piss everyone off and then tomorrow i dont cause im not ready...grow up and please dont get pregnant til you do!
2006-09-29 10:19:04 · answer #9 · answered by cutenwild1769 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Keep the kid you made the decision yourself when you got pregnant..It is not the babies fault you are now having second faults.. Just don't make the same mistakes your parents did by treating you as you claim to have been treated.
2006-09-29 10:25:10 · answer #10 · answered by conundrum_dragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋