I asked this question not too long ago. Sorry for the misinformation.My wifeand I have stopped having intimacy for about a month. I am sexually active and have not cheated on her. I have asked her about the problem and in a nice way. All she could say is that she doesn't feel like doing it anymore. When I say i'm sexually active I mean that if it was up to me I would have intimacy maybe two or three times a week at least. I don't know if I'm asking for to much . Thanks for listening.
2006-09-29 09:58:36 · 21 answers · asked by urhomiesid 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There has got to be more behind her "not wanting to."
There could be a few reasons...
1.Worst case scenario she is cheating.
2. Bored of the same old thing
3. Loss of sex drive
And the loss of sex drive can be due to many things like:
Cancer of the Ovary and Endometrium (Lining of the Uterus).
Menopause.
Age
Depression
Endometriosis
The Pill
http://www.ultrapms.com/dryness/sex-drive.htm
http://www.oprah.com/presents/2004/kyb/sex/kyb_sex_driveloss_103.jhtml
http://www.truthout.org/cgi-bin/artman/exec/view.cgi/35/11410
http://www.crescentlife.com/disorders/depression_and_loss_of_sex_drive.htm
You really should sit down and talk to her about it. Then see what steps you need to take to get her back in the mood.
I know after having 2 kids my husband for a while was sex deprived. I would just be to tired after running around chasing kids and doing house work all day. I felt too ugly to let him see me after having kids. Once he started helping around the house more and getting a babysitter for the kids every once in a while I was back to my old self again. He also got us gym memberships. I am now pregnant with my 3rd and the sex has never been better.
2006-09-29 10:00:37 · answer #1 · answered by mystique_dragon4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't listen to people who are telling you that she is probably cheating. Loss of sex drive in a marriage usually has nothing to do with cheating. If she were cheating, there would probably be many other signs.
Most likely she is not attracted to you anymore. Not necessarily not attracted in a physical way, but maybe on an emotional or mental level. Try romancing her and not taking her for granted. Bring her flowers, tell her she looks beautiful, thank her when she cooks you a meal. It's the small things that really matter to women. I have a feeling if you try these things and KEEP doing them, your sex life will change. If not, then there are definitely some other underlying issues.
Oh and alcohol always helps too. :)
2006-09-29 17:09:43 · answer #2 · answered by Ladybug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there can be many reason on why she is not sleeping with you... You and your wife need to sit down and talk about this.... and if she is not willing then you know she is hiding something. Marriage is something that you and her joined together and your problems came together... She sounds like she is lackuing something somewhere and because you are her husband it is your job to find out that the issue is... Being married is not an easy thing to do... but it is a road you traveled down.... This is just a rough spot that is either going to make or break your marriage... You have to determine what it is that you want and go for it
2006-09-29 17:20:20 · answer #3 · answered by Shonda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to look at the whole situation. Is she stressed about something? Is she not feeling special? Have you done anything nice for her? One suggestion I have is to plan a special evening and just pamper the heck out of her! You can take her out to dinner and a nice hotel or if you don't have the budget make her dinner and light some candles and have romantic music on. Let her know that you don't just want her but that you love her too. Women need to be emotionally ready for sex so whoo her a little. And contrary to what my husband thinks, hard rock and nine inch nails are not romantic music!!! Bring her flowers or just a little present. Just make her feel special and you will be amazed!!! Good luck and let us know if it works!!!
2006-09-29 17:18:33 · answer #4 · answered by hideemosquito 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I answered this earlier when I thought you meant that you were going out on her. Sorry about that!
I am glad the two of you have been talking about the situation. She needs to see a doctor. It could be caused by a physical problem, or maybe caused by mild depression. Either way, the doctor could help her get that old feeling back. Please encourage her to make an appointment soon.
2006-09-29 17:04:15 · answer #5 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Urge your wife to go for a complete medical checkup. Abrupt changes of this type are often caused by medical reasons that we are not aware of. Catching something early on can be a life saver. Brain tumor, cancer, chemical imbalance in the blood, the list goes on. Have here get a checkup if at all possible.
2006-09-29 17:03:47 · answer #6 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There could be several reasons:
~She might be preoccupied with work/kids/hobby/money problems
~She may be going through menopause (if she's about 40+, some women do experience this early)
~She may be stressed
~She may have some health problem and need to be checked out
~She may be depressed - which is serious and she should see her primary care physician who can refer her to whatever she needs
~Also, if she's on birth control her sex drive may have decreased and she may want to talk to her OB/GYN about it
You may want to have a nice conversation with her about why she thinks she doesn't feel like it anymore and if she would like to try to solve the problem. But basically she needs to "feel like" having sex in order for her to want to do it, so focus on getting her to want to do it, and she'll probably need to see her doctor (most of my reasons would warrant it, but not all lol). Don't force it until she's feeling better. Try to focus on why she's feeling this way, not that fact that she won't have sex.
2006-09-29 17:21:29 · answer #7 · answered by ~Lacey~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah the romance is gone. You need to treat her as if you two were still dating. You've gotten too used to each other and maybe the sex is so routine that you guys need to spark it up a bit. Why don't you do something way out of the ordinary and shock the hell out of her. Of course do something you know she'll like, maybe try to fulfull one of her fantasies. Or just use your imagination. Good Luck
2006-09-29 17:05:22 · answer #8 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you be married - sexually active - not intimate with your wife - and not cheating? By intimacy do you mean cuddling? If so - sack up and be a man!
2006-09-29 17:01:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to look at what is going on in your lives at the moment. Does she work? Is she under a lot of stress at work? Is she juggling to many things? Is she trying to be a super mom if you have children? There are just so many things that could be causing it. Have you just tried holding her in your arms at night instead of wanting to have sex. Holding her and just talking to her about the nothings of your day. We woman sometimes just like to be held and be told how beautiful we are, what a wonderful person we are etc. This works in reverse also.
2006-09-29 17:06:51 · answer #10 · answered by Red 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋