We are separated and he says that he needs to grow up. He was talking to this girl and I found out. He is not living here. We share children a home cars and bills..He has given me some money. He rarely sees the children but says that he needs to grow up? He says he doesn't know what he wants.He still loves us and says he misses us..What does this really mean..Thanks
2006-09-29 09:57:16 · 12 answers · asked by *bossy* 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It means he is telling you he is going to be irresponsible relative to your marriage vows and wants to keep the door open so he can come back and beg forgiveness and resume the marriage ... in essence, he is using the excuse of immaturity to gain your permission(acceptance?) of his infidelity. I have no doubt he does love you and the children, but is that love enough to hold him or will he divorce you if/when he finds something "better"?
he is holding on to you as a safety net if nothing better comes along. if he has you convinced this is a phase he will grow out of, then you are more trusting than he deserves.
I'm a guy, so i'm not buying this line of BS, you shouldn;t either.
2006-09-29 10:12:45 · answer #1 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It means that he apparently NEVER grew up in the first place, and that he wants to have his cake and eat it too. In other words, he is telling YOU hes still loves you and the kids (if he really did he would be with you and the kids)....but he wants to be free to pursue other things (women, whatever). Frankly dear, I would lose this guy as fast as you can. He will NEVER grow up and accept responsibility and you will spend the rest of your life hoping against hope that he will finally see the light. He won't!
2006-09-29 17:01:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means that he is fooling around with other women. He knows he is acting like a teenager and going out and doing things a real husband and man wouldn't be doing. This is just his way of trying to placate you by pretending to see his faults and tell you he is working on them. In reality he is working on scoring with other women and just hoping you don't divorce him. You need to go find a lawyer and divorce this guy and get every thing out of him you can for your sake and for the sake of the kids. You and them deserve better in your lives. Don't let him play these games with you while he is doing anything he wants with his life.
2006-09-29 17:03:24 · answer #3 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means that he doesn't know what he wants BUT he wants you to give him time to see if things work out with the new lady in his life before he makes any serious decisions.
I don't know you but you deserve better.
Don't sit around and be a fool for him.
I'm sure he loves you and the kids but at this time his happiness is more important.
Good Luck!
2006-09-29 17:00:33 · answer #4 · answered by miss_lady6980 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you're going through this...it's not fair...for you or your children.
It sounds to me like he is veiling his relationship with this girl by using this excuse. A man has to throw his cards on the table, stand up and be accountable when he has kids...his moment to grow up was when that first little one came into the world.
I sincerely hope you find peace.
2006-09-29 17:01:10 · answer #5 · answered by Robert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's exactly what he means. It means he wants to fool around and act like an immature man while at the same time, he wants u to be there waiting for him when he's done playing.
2006-09-29 17:14:21 · answer #6 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
agree with rkrell. this is my reality right now and there is alot of things about my husband that is coming out of the wood work.. I agree with almost all these answers but it is so hard to deal with cause it is suppose to be someone you love and committed your self to. Like me try and move on.
2006-09-29 23:47:48 · answer #7 · answered by djc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He want to be alone and test the ground for new fields as the "grass is greener on the other side"
2006-09-29 16:59:32 · answer #8 · answered by Antoine a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is starting to mature and is starting to think about something other than today and beer. Some men never grow up. It sounds like he has started down that path to maturity.
2006-09-29 17:00:07 · answer #9 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think this means he loves you still. by the way why did you separate ?
2006-09-29 17:05:05 · answer #10 · answered by jennifer_johnson822 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋