my bf of 4 years is still married to his dumb ex.she says he wanted out of the relationship that he should pay for it.funds are low because we have a baby to take care of she doest work but collects child support and her bf has money.shouldn't she be getting one.i work now should i pay for it?
2006-09-29 09:34:03 · 11 answers · asked by justdaynjay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why are you with a married man ? . . he should have gotten a divorce before yall hooked up not after
They should split the cost, it's not your problem it's his and hers.
2006-09-29 09:40:18 · answer #1 · answered by Rainy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A simple solution would be to split the cost of the divorce where both agree not to blame the other for whatever differences existed. Still, as a father, he should continue this obligation of child support (HIS children, right?) so that he can maintain visitation rights AND be a part of HIS children's lives... which is more important to the children's well-being in the long run (and they won't feel as though they were somehow at fault for their parents' failures). Your boyfriend's ex-wife's boyfriend has no responsibility to pay for HER divorce or support YOUR boyfriend's children (he probably gives them love, care and looks out for them, and buys them food and gifts...).
Maybe the ex-wife's boyfriend is sticking around because he KNOWS that she can't demand marriage while SHE'S LEGALLY married? He'll probably run for the hills once she's not legally married and she start insinuating marriage! Why should HE have to pay for what is YOUR boyfriend's responsibility and his ex-wife's responsibility? YOU shouldn't have let yourself get involved or pregnant by a married man, to begin with; live with it or consider the idea of him paying for HALF of the costs of the divorce.
Uncontested divorces range between $150 to $300, and most often if you do your homework right, you can many times do this yourself... it's just knowing what paperwork to file and where... and to have a working plan for children's visitation rights. You must understand that it is not a debate or a fight; don't make it a personality conflict but make it as amicable and mature as possible so that both parties "win" and it will go much smoother in the long run and both parties can go on with the rest of their lives.
Go to the County or Municipal Court House and speak with the law clerks, they WILL advise you on the procedures.
Have your boyfriend make the offer to his ex-wife of an amicable, peaceful divorce where they split the costs and no one is blamed (for the sake AND benefit of the children) and have him work out the details (let HIM suggest that the CHILD SUPPORT will be guaranteed)(that can also be worked out and/or modified through the Child Welfare Bureau or Child Support Services).
It's so much easier to live a peaceful life than a life of conflict and animosity... especially when there are children involved. If your boyfriend is not mature enough to see this option as a viable one and he puts up excuses, consider that HE may have been the one that was ignorant and stupid and caused the breakup of his marriage and YOU are now stuck with him... he's just using b/s excuses for not getting divorced!
2006-09-29 16:49:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point whoever has the money should pay for it. Get the darn thing over with. It will also be cheaper if they can agree on all the terms and then just file it with family court. It takes longer that way, but its better than paying money hungry lawyers. My fiance and his ex both had real high attorneys fees, and the attorneys kept holding things up, and in the end they ended up working out the terms themselves and just asking their attorneys to sign and file them. Lawyers like to have things go back and forth so they can charge you. Its bull. You can get the forms from the family court and file yourselves. Good Luck.
2006-09-29 16:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by eagfan5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to reality, Babe. This story has been told to women for generations, and it still works. The man gets to screw two different women and doesn't have to worry about them getting mad at him. One lie after another and he gets all the goodies.
Why in the world would you waste 4 years of your life on him? Anyone with any sense would know that a married man will not divorce his wife when he can get all he wants for free without giving up anything.
How come the wife is giving a limp excuse of not being able to pay for it? If the man wanted the divorce he would find a way to pay for it himself. Come on, you know he has no intention of following through with this. Get yourself out of this mess and never go after a married man again.
2006-09-29 16:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, IDEALLY, the person who asked for the divorce should pay for it, or it should be 50/50. If funds are not available for this, then whoever can afford it should pay for it. Child support should NOT be used to fund a divorce, it's for the child.
2006-09-29 16:41:31 · answer #5 · answered by Genevieve 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one who is dumb!
The wife is a smart cookie! She moved on with a rich boyfriend and dump her cheating idiot husband. She is smart by making HIM pay since is him that strayed and to collect child support. Good for her!
You are dumb for dating a married man
You are dumb for getting pregnant out of wedlock
You are dumb for dating a loser that cannot even afford his own divorce.
You are dumb for resenting a woman that collects child support from her lawful husband to feed her babies.
You are dumb for wanting a cheater as a boyfriend.
You are dumb for offering to pay for the divorce.
You are dumb for believing his lies.
It's your life, go ahead, Life will teach you.
Are women still believing the old trick of "I can't divorce my wife"???
Unbelievable.
2006-09-29 16:40:20 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
YOU SO STUPID...haaahaaahaaa I love welfare people, low moral, low IQ, Never learn from history.
OK Here what you should do meet another man and move in with him and then tell your boy friend you are suing him for child support.
2006-09-29 17:06:19 · answer #7 · answered by Kenshin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants out of it then he should pay for it and have it be done.
2006-09-29 16:41:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahha- you have got to be kidding.. that is a good one. Maybe you should write soap operas. still laughing.....hahahahahahahahahahaha
2006-09-29 16:38:15 · answer #9 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel so sorry for all of you.
2006-09-30 10:43:03 · answer #10 · answered by R W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋