What do you say to some one who just lost a set of twins?

Question

My freind misscarried and I don't know what to say to her with out hurting her feelings

Answer 1

Hi i am really sorry to hear what has happened to your friend,I lost twin son's 12 years ago ,people say times a healer, it heals but you never forget. i had friends that never spoke to me again, they used to walk past , you seem like your always going to be there for your friends, i know its a sad time just ask if they need any help, and tell her that you'll always be there, best wishes and sending love x tc ps get some advice from S A N D S stillborn and neonatal death society they really helped me

Answer 2

I'm with the others. There really is nothing you can say to ease the pain of this - they'll have to grieve on they own terms. It may take weeks or months for them to get back what they had before. Just be there: whether it's on the end of a phone or meeting up when needed. Keep in contact but don't crowd them - this is an incredibly personal experience they're going through and sometimes need to be alone - just make sure she doesn't "shut down" and avoid contact with anyone. Don't be afraid to discuss it with her though, I remember when my father died people obviously avoided talking to me about it because they felt awkward when that's all I wanted. Just treat her as normal and be a friend. These things heal with time, and you sound like a damn good friend.

Answer 3

Here is a link to the March of Dimes, a national non-profit organization to help prevent brith defects, premature birht and infant mortality. They offer a wide arrary of information on grieving, and how intereact with friends who have lost a baby.

Link: http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/572_15997.asp

Let her know you are they for her, whenever she is ready to tell you how she feels. At first, she might not want to take about her experience, and you should respect that. Most importantly, tell her you're not sure how to support her, but you're here for her and will help her in whatever why you can.

Answer 4

I think the main thing is not to pretend to understand, allow your friend to explain how she is feeling. Hear everything she is telling you. Mainly and above all just be there for her...show her how much you love her. And a simple "I'm sorry" can help.

Answer 5

All you can do is be there for her as a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. Don't expect anything from her for a while, it may take many months for her to come through this. Just be there.

Answer 6

Tell her you can't even begin to imagine how much she hurts! But you feel very sorry for her loss and if she needs you for anything you will be there for her! And that she is in your prayers!

Answer 7

i lost my daughter last november. speaking from experience, the worst things u can tell her is ur sorry or it'll all be ok . . . just let her know that u love her and ur there for her to cry on .. . thats all she really needs rite now

Answer 8

Please don't say anything yet. try to be as usual as possible. The most hard thing is to deal with another peope in that situation. Just let her know that she can talk at any time if she need it

Answer 9

You say "I'm so sorry" throw your arms around her and cry with her.
The words are the doorway, but crying with her shows her you hurt for her hurt.

Answer 10

you dont really need to say anything.....maybe just be honest and let her know that you care and your there for her if she needs you and tell her that your unsure what to say as nothing you say is going to help.....
when my friend miscarried recently i felt the same and did as i suggested.....she was so rapt as she was sick and tired of everyone saying that it happened for a reason, better it happened know etc etc........just be honest and supportive.