2006-09-29 09:18:50 · 21 answers · asked by kimbliss327 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
- Keep calm. Even if you are not always agreeing on some things, you both agreed to come to improve your relationship.
- Be honest even if it is embarassing or painful.
- Try to word things such that you are not accusing him. E.g. Instead of 'you never help around the house', say 'i feel tired at the end of the day, i think i may need a little help with the chores'.
- Do listen to what he has to say.
- Keep an open mind. Be ready to accept that there may be things that YOU could improve or compromise on.
- Think of the reasons why you love your husband, and why this is worth the trouble.
Good luck!
2006-09-29 09:26:53 · answer #1 · answered by jessc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first congrats on the session that is your first step to helping your relationship or figuring where to go with it. be open to his feelings and try to understand where he is coming from....use less 'you' statements and more "I feel' statements. Do not chastise him for the feelings he may have, feelings are feelings and cannot be right or wrong, just misunderstood. A lot of what may be going on is just a lack of understanding where the other party is coming from......I do not know your specific situation.....but just go in with an open mind and a willingness to listen, even to your possible faults, hopefully he will do the same.
If this does not save your marriage, at least find some good in the face that you are trying to save it and know that if you separate that you are doing so with having given it your best shot and that you didn't just walk away when it got tough.
Whatever the outcome, learn from this and you will be better for it .
2006-09-29 09:26:20 · answer #2 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad about crying. For the first session, try to do more listening than talking, but if there is a burning issue you've been wanting a 3rd opinion about, then do bring it up. The counselling is really in hearing yourselves talk while an unbiased pro is present to mediate. Kudos to you and your husband for taking this step! You're going to be better off and stay together. Great move.
2006-09-29 09:23:27 · answer #3 · answered by Sleek 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes.. don't expect the therapist to deem you as being "right" or "justified" in whatever it is that's causing the problem or your reaction to the problem. So many people go to counseling expecting to have their partner be told "You are wrong" and they get angry if that doesn't happen.
If your goal is to fix the problems and remain together, then be open, put down your defenses, stop looking for blame, and realize you are BOTH causing the situation and must BOTH change to change it.
2006-09-29 09:24:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your counselor will the way on this one, don't worry about what to say/not say since they'll direct you.
However, try to be not judging if bad things are talked about, your there to make things work. Also be open about your thoughts and feelings. Don't be afraid about what your husband will think, your there so you can get things out without judgment, rejection, or loss. Now's the time to fix whatevers broken.
Best of luck!
2006-09-29 11:33:54 · answer #5 · answered by ~Lacey~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go in with an open mind, try to listen to everything the counselor says, and have some objective of what you want from your relationship with your husband..I am assuming that things aren't so great.....hope this makes things better for you...oh one other thing, don't take on all the blame cause it takes two to fight and two people to work it out
2006-09-29 09:48:54 · answer #6 · answered by kimbeesue63 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His getting previous issues will take time and that's why you will prefer extra then only one consultation of counseling to help with issues. over the years he would be waiting to start to recover from the final issues and to circulate on with you interior the marriage to make issues extra valuable. Marriage takes paintings and dedication and a great style of love and awareness of another. you are able to attempt not count how he acts of feels. in simple terms stay constructive and shop your chin up lady considering the fact which you're able to do it!
2016-10-15 08:39:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends, if it is a Licensed Clinical Practioner, they may be able to help find the root of what the problem is between the two of you and help you solve it, if possible. If it is one of those licensed family counslers, well you might be wasting your time, I know, the problem with them is they do not find the root problem, they deal mostly with finding friendly common ground and don't have the training nor the skill to "get into your head". Plus a 90-95% failure rate......Good Luck...lol
2006-09-29 09:30:23 · answer #8 · answered by John H B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go into it with an open mind, and the willingness to listen. Don't be the one to jump fast, sit and listen to what he has to say. Respond in a calm and collected manor. If you really want to make things work then this is the key.
2006-09-29 09:25:38 · answer #9 · answered by funlovingwomannky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best advise I can give is to listen. Really listen, not the way you listen to the news when you're driving to work. That's key in therapy. Once you've listened and reflect on what's said make sure you are understood. Once both of you listen and understand eachother you'll need to learn to compromise. that's the second key.
Ciao
2006-09-29 09:31:05 · answer #10 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋