I have a gf and we used to have sex alot. I never had prob with my erections ever. About 2 months a go me and my girl broke up? I broke up with her casue i lost feelings for her. She flipped out like ive never seen anyone do. After i broke up with her i couldnt get an erection when trying to mastrubate. I think it was due to the fact that i just felt so guilty. I got back with her for the mere reason of getting my penis up in wich i could sometimes. Now im just depressed and have a hard time getting it up. I was so freaked out about my problem i went to about 4 different doctors and they all did testes and said i was fine and it was in my head. I am unhappy in my relationship but scared to leave cause im afraid i will suffer the same problem. Sometimes it feels like i cant get it up because im forcing myself to be with this person. Some serios advice would help out alot.
2006-09-29 09:01:52 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
When you say you had sex a lot before you broke it off with her in ithe first place does that mean you had a great sex or just ho-hum sex? I think your setting yourself up to not get it up, your putting too much pressure on your performance and not enough on you being human. You don't have to stay with this girl, people break up everyday and some people deal with it better than others. Those who don't deal well do eventually get over it. Don't feel guilty and then have sex just so you can get it up. Your worth more than that and once you calm down you'll be back in the saddle again.
Good Luck!
2006-09-29 09:44:58 · answer #1 · answered by T-Bird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my opinion is that you break off the relationship with your g/f. it's difficult to obtain an erection while with someone you don't love and really don't want to be with.
you're too hard on yourself. if you are unable to complete the masturbation act, add some excitement to it. watch a porn movie, touch, fondle your nipples, upper inner thighs, testicles, and penis. do it slowly so you feel the total impact on each part of your body. fantasize about the girl of your dreams. fantasize about a sexual scenario you would love to play out. just have fun w/the experience. relax, pay attention to your breathing, use a mirror to watch yourself performing, video tape yourself masturbating.
while you were visiting your doctors did anyone suggest using viagra, cialis, or levitra? there are also penis pumps that will bring about an erection hard enough to complete the solo sex practice.
i keep pushing for a successful session of masturbation because it will build up your self-esteem re: erections and completing the act. right now i think your suffering from performance anxiety
(continuous feelings that IT won't work). this type of suffering is internal and only you can overcome it. don't put ANY pressure on yourself. find a stress free environment, away from distractions and interference. where you can spend quality time with yourself.
i give this advice based on personal experience, friend.
2006-09-29 18:03:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, from what youre saying, youre still having a hard time with that, and youre back with her. Its very unfair to her, cuz you dont love her. Its unfair to you, cuz you DONT love her. I think its in your head also. You need to get out of the relationship and move on. Youll find someone you really like again. Your erections will eventually come back. Dont try so hard. If its meant to get hard, it will. Quit worrying so much about it, that may be what part of the problem is. Cheer up dude.
2006-09-29 18:08:45 · answer #3 · answered by ~~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Metro Man,
I don't know how old you are, but if what you say is true that is quite disturbing. You say you have been to the doctor, if you are young the doctor probably didn't take your problem to seriously.
It seems to me you need to get out of that relationship and find someone new and start in a new direction.
TDCWH
2006-09-29 16:11:00 · answer #4 · answered by TDCWH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is in your head. You have to get her out of your head. You have to sort out these emotions. It was a dumb idea to get back with her just to get it up, but you must know that. It didn't work because the same feeling you had during the separation that caused you issues are still there. Stop bottling up these emotions. Get them out. Tell her. Seriously. It your best hope.
2006-09-29 16:09:30 · answer #5 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can,t stay with someone just because it makes you feel good about sex. How long were you apart for did you really give yourself time to adjust? guilt does funny things to people. if doc says there,s nothing medically wrong then don,t worry relax, maybe your putting too much impotance on this, if you learn to relax and learn to enjoy yourself, various ways of doing this!
2006-09-29 16:11:50 · answer #6 · answered by tinylincs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just relax and don't think about sex for a while. In the mean time tell who you are with you need some time apart and start dating and find someone you are really really attracted to, and work your self up to regaining your confidence in that area!!!
2006-09-29 16:06:40 · answer #7 · answered by Mycan Moneek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just gonna have to either stay with her or you gonna have to break up with her and wait untill she leaves your mind.
I dont mean that you will forget about her, but as with all serious relationships it will take some time before you are comfortable enough with yourself to get with another girl.
2006-09-29 16:43:51 · answer #8 · answered by Slappin 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well don't do anything with this girl let her leave you, no guilt problem solved. Now you leave it in her head, lol
2006-09-29 16:06:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a DR about your problem.
2006-09-29 16:03:40 · answer #10 · answered by chrstnwrtr 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋