How's this for a "I'm Sorry Poem"?

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How's this for a "I'm Sorry Poem"?

Time stands still again
And everytime you take a breathe
I don't breath
The mintues seem like hours
And the hours like days
But with you
It doesn't exist

The second go by
But the clock doesn't move
That's when I know I'm with you
The leaves have begin to fall
They bleed red,orange,and yellow
But with you
They don't exist

The world's chaos
Is at my front door
Your hand in mine, makes mes care less
The smell of change is here
I can feel it
But with you
It doesn't exist

When I'm with you
I never want to leave
It's the only heaven
I could dream
Time stands still again
And now I know I'm with you.

I'm no Poe, but like me and my best friend, who I'm IN love with, got into a fight the other night where she told me she didn't want to be friends anymore, and I just can't do that. So I read some of the other YAHOO Q's and saw that a poem was a good "I'm Sorry" so what do you guys think about this?

2006-09-29 08:51:55 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships

2006-09-29 09:00:45 · update #1

2006-09-29 09:01:48 · update #2

19 answers

Its a bit melodramatic. Especially if this person is still under the impression that you're friends. This sounds like a straight-up love poem (think of how that will effect your relationship before you put it out there)

2006-09-29 08:54:31 · answer #1 · answered by DonSoze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋

Wow you sound pretty pathetic.

Sorry but it's true.

If a girl dumbs you (even as a friend) you have two options, have dignity and self-respect or write sappy poems about how great she is.

I don't mean to be harsh but a poem isn't going to change her mind about you. Here is the great big secret that all players know, and why they get a hundreds of girls without even trying and you are at home doing the five finger knuckle shuffle. Girls do not care about how much you like them, they only care about how much they like you. If a girl does not want see you anymore a poem isn't going to change that.

Just let her go, if you take it without going all psycho on her she will come back to you. Maybe then show her your poems. But a poem will not make her "see the error of her ways."

2006-09-29 16:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by The Teacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋

Its nice but i think you should also include that you like her more than a friend too. Depends on are u friends or more than friends. Coz if u r IN love with her and she just thinks of friends and no more it might be a little uncomfortable for both of you. so maybe sit down and talk to her and tell her u r sorry in person and then before u leave give her the poem and maybe her favorite flower. Also at the end of your poem u should right in another paragraph I'M SORRY! Good luck

2006-09-29 16:00:24 · answer #3 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋

Hey...Shakespeare....why don't you just get in touch with her and ask her out for dinner or go somewhere with a bottle of wine and some nice cheese and fruit and talk it out with her. Tell her your sorry for acting like a horse's a** and that you feel like a dope for treating her the way you did.
Be sincere....if she really cares for you she'll love you all the more because you had the manliness to admit that you were at fault on this one.

And you're right...an Edgar Allen Poe you ain't. plus...if you wrote to her the same stuff Poe did you'd send her screaming off into the night.

2006-09-29 16:05:57 · answer #4 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋

Hi there! The poem is good but here is a sincere advice for you, just be yourself when you say sorry to her. Be polite, be down to earth, if she shouts or say something bad just listen to every word with patience coz some times it happens but all you have to do is, after she is done with all the things she has to say, you just look into her eyes with a request and hope of forgiveness in yours, and say sorry from the bottom of your heart and trust me if you do so, you will get your friend back ^__^
Best of Luck!

God Bless ^__^

2006-09-29 16:12:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋

Your poem is something to admire about you told your feelings in a way that person to imagine how you felt about that someone,

True poetry is not a thing that people dont want to do but it expresses ones emotion with someone they admire

I may be a novice in poetry but my heart is something that tells me what to say and feel that feeling

Like this poem "Open Flowers" its based on our emotions that when we feel happy and great and felt like we belong your heart will bloom into a flower and shine in the sky with a smile on our face and hearts that are a glorious divine.

This is my poem i made it for a someone to feel better and belong to the whole world.

2006-09-29 16:14:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋

couple typos - it should be "every time you take a BREATH...I don't BREATHE"

Other than that it's very good, a few cliches but they're ok...but it doesn't seem to say "I'm sorry," more like "I'm suffering without you and I want you back." That's not the same as taking responsibility for something you might have done wrong and asking her forgiveness. You can want her back but not be sorry...it's not clear in the poem (to me) that you are sorry for anything.

But it's still pretty good.

2006-09-29 15:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by LisaT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋

The poem is very nice. But be careful cause she will definitley know how you feel about her once she reads it . If you are not ready to tell her then just try speaking to her and say "im sorry".

2006-09-29 16:16:22 · answer #8 · answered by ~Dee~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋

that is sooooo sweet. if i got in a fight with there would be no question i would be your b/f again in a second.if your b/f doesn't make up with you after this she is insane. you never know she could feel the same way about you.

2006-09-29 15:58:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋

I wouldn't do it. But if you are 12 this might be a good idea. Not a bad poem though.

2006-09-29 15:56:06 · answer #10 · answered by joelrnic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋