We had two kids now ages 3 and 5 years old...she is completly turned off from the idea. I have been fixed so no worries about pregnancy. My friends seem to say the same thing as well. When I try to talk to her about it, she starts crying saying shes sorry...I am horny as all get go and have never cheated on her, but damn, im horny and now im thinking of an affair. She does not want to seek counseling either..Hell, I even offered. I am so fed up. We used to knock it out once a day. I even do chores and help with the kids hoping she wouldnt say she was tired or something. I am just fed up and need to get laid. I hate that the woman has the say as to if you can have sex or not...
2006-09-29 08:27:39 · 25 answers · asked by Johnny A 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Jack off or get a divorce.
2006-09-29 08:32:05 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately for you, sex is a two way street where both partners have to want it.
That being said, if she is not having a physical issue (i.e. something medical that prevents her from having sex) then the lack of sex is the symptom of a bigger problem. Most women have the same sex drives as men. Sooo...when we're withholding sex it's for a reason, because something else is going on. It could be she's turned off by your attitude of wanting to "knock it out" or "get laid". Women like a little romance, not feeling like they're a piece of meat to be "knocked on".
There's a ton of possibilities - she could be feeling unattractive for some reason, she could be depressed, she could be unhappy in the marriage, she could be cheating.
If you truly want to get to the bottom of this, show her a little TLC and let her know you love her. At least she may open up about what's bothering her. Being an a$$ to her isn't going to get you - or your marriage - anywhere
2006-09-29 08:40:34 · answer #2 · answered by earthlove32 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there. Why not try something new. Have family take the kids for a weekend. Take her somewhere special, maybe a B&B near a scenic area. Without the kids and hassles of running a home hopefully the two of you can reconnect. The best advice I can give with this suggestion, is make the event about her wants not your needs. It worked great for us, at least every other month we try to get away alone. Since we started doing this, she is more approachable in between times because she knows how much I care, love and desire her.
2006-09-29 08:36:02 · answer #3 · answered by Quix 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa cowboy...women don't always have the say over whether a couple has sex or not. Before you run off and do something stupid, consider this:
1. Have you asked your wife why she doesn't want to go to counseling? Tell her that you're concerned for your marriage, and that it's not all about the sex, but about being able to communicate and understand one another.
2. We get that you're horny, but what is more important? Finding eout what's up with you marriage or getting laid. If the priority is your marriage then "Man Up", deal with it and stop whining. Don't turn this situation into an excuse to be unfaithful; solve the problem.
3. There could be a number of reasons why your wife doesn't want to have sex, including something medical. The both of you should go to her doctor and make sure she's ok.
4. I hate to tell ya, but sex drives change as people get older. In my marriage, I'm the one who has the greater appetite. And, yes, I sometimes get frustrated because I want more. I don't set myself up to go out prowling, we talk about it like adults and work it out.
5. Aside from this, is she a good wife? Is she a good mom, companion and friend? Do you love her enough to get to the bottom of what going on and make it work?
6. I'm sorry, but anyone - man or woman - that knowingly goes out and engages in sex with someone other than their long-time partner or spouse is just looking for trouble. Regardless of how many precautions you take, you can't guarantee that you won't contract and STD, get a woman pregnant, or get caught. Before you run off and drop your pants, think about the worst case scenario and make sure you can deal with it.
The first thing you do is wipe the foam off your mouth and act like a caring husband. Tell her you want to go to counseling, then go- even without her if you need to, but go. Remember that you have a responsibility to set an example for your children, which means you don't bail at the first sign of stress in your marriage. I don't blame you for being fed up, but check your anger: it may be why she has difficulty talking to you about this.
Try and work it out first. Don't be so quick to drop your pants.
2006-09-29 08:53:22 · answer #4 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably doesn't seem attractive anymore. If I were you, I'd tell her how you are feeling about have a prospective affair. If she still doesn't do anything to change, well you warned her. She deserves to get pleased as much as you do. It's only right. And if she won't do anything to please you, then go out and seek pleasure somewhere else. On the other hand, maybe something traumatic happened to her that she's not willing to talk about. Maybe she's depressed. If she's always home and doesn't do anything, then maybe she is depressed and needs to go out and do things other than being home. Maybe she should get a part time job, just to keep her busy and so she'll have something to talk about other than you and the kids. Or consult one of her closest friends. Tell her how you feel and she'll have a talk to your wife or might even tell you what's wrong.
2006-09-29 08:42:30 · answer #5 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
May be there is something wrong with your wife emotionally....maybe after having those two children she feel as if her body isn't the way it use to be. Did you try to do something for her that make her feel sexy again? Maybe hire a sitter and take her out for a nice romantic dinner, go back to a hotel where roses are covering the bed, a nice warm bath with oils and candles. Give each other nice massages, you know sorta get her in the mood. Make her feel loved. Then maybe she will start to open up.
2006-09-29 08:35:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, sex is not everything. Get a hobby, join a sports team, and release some of your energy elsewhere. Don't cheat, but if you still want too, just get a divorce, and move on. Think how you would feel if she cheated on you. There are many other activities just as satisfying, and you might even expand your mind and learn something. Spend time with your kids, and show them that you love them!
2006-09-29 23:02:06 · answer #7 · answered by justsurviv'n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to understand that it's not like she doesn't want to it's that she can't at the moment...She really should see her dotore about this he can help her with pills or such...Please don't cheat on her that should be the last thing you'll ever want to do...And i understand where your coming from and it sounds so far you been doing the right thing don't fu*k it up by cheating...Just keep being understanding as you are now..You sound like a great husband and father...Sometimes women go through this things...And trust me it's not easy for her either
2006-09-29 08:45:52 · answer #8 · answered by ?Whiskey Girl? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does she have a mother or female friends she can confide in? If so maybe ask them to talk to her. She may feel more comfortable talking to another woman as sometimes men don't understand the emotional issues women sometimes face as new mothers. Although you say you help, she still may feel overwhelmed with the dual role of wife and mother, be depressed (especially since you say she cries) or she may have issues with her body image since having children. You never know. Just try to be as supportive and understanding as possible.
2006-09-29 08:33:51 · answer #9 · answered by beattyb 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to go one step further, arrange for a babysitter, let your wife know that your going on a date. Take her out and treat like the sexy girl she was before you got married. Then take her to a very nice hotel/motel with a hot tub, have wine and flowers waiting in the room. I guarantee you will have some wild sex. Good luck.
2006-09-29 08:34:09 · answer #10 · answered by loser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not having a personal problem. Her problem is with you. You sound pushy. Do remember what it was like in the beginning when you first started your relationship? Try a little romance, get into a tickle fight, flirt, tell her she is beautiful and sexy, send her flowers, treat her like a lady. Do these things regularly. They are not hard to do, practicly effortless and worth it. The more you show her how special she is to you, the more she'll be attracted to you.
2006-09-29 08:38:08 · answer #11 · answered by dewiggs 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋