To say all we ever do is fight in an understatement. I really can't take it anymore. I am completely misrable. I keep thinking it will only get better, but nothing has changed. I guess I kind of figure I've been with him for 6 years, everything should be ok. But it's not. Any advice?
2006-09-29 08:26:37 · 20 answers · asked by Kimo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have advice...but, it sounds like you already know what to do.
I would advise some kind of pre-marital counseling if there were some kind of solid foundation and just small differences or, the usual arguements...but, it seems like it is all just not working anymore.
Chances are if you feel that way- he may also feel that way. He may be just as reluctant as you are to completely sever the bond though. So, I would just be as considerate of his heart and feelings as possible (and yours too...it's not easy to come to the decision to end any relationship- even if you're the one doing the ending) and just end it before the ceremony.
People change and grow over time- new differences arise sometimes and other times...no matter what you do, it just won't get better. It doesn't make either of you wrong...it just makes you wrong for one another. Honor what you do like and respect in one another and part ways in as friendly a manner as possible.
I commend you on being honest about how you feel BEFORE marriage. I know it's hard and it hurts- but, it's better to hurt this way now...then to hurt yourselves and any family you may have had together years from now. I'm sorry for your rough times, and wish you nothing but happiness in the future!
2006-09-29 10:02:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the relationship. If you would have had more communication before you started the relationship it might have turned out better than it is now. The better the communication the less fighting there will be. You need to talk about the big stuff. Sit down and talk it through and discuss big stuff if you do decide to get married. So many couples don't talk about money, religion, sex, or family until after they get married. If he wants kids and you don't there are going to be problems. If don't want to work as a wife and he wants you to have a career then you need to talk about those kinds of things. Get a book if you have to. But talk. If not then just end it.
2006-09-29 08:30:07 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to take a step back and see what really is goning on.
Maybe a little space between you two is what is needed or maybe you guys need to learn how to fight/communicate/and understand each other. I married a gal and prior to marrage and the first few years of marrage were very difficult and the biggest issue was ihow we fought and what we fought about.
eventually we found our way and stayed married for 18 yrs.
It very well maybe you are both hard headed stubborn people, or it maybe you are both fighting for control. Chances are you two both want the smae things out of life but have a different idea on how to get there.
Try a counselor
2006-09-29 09:46:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, gee... you fight all the time, you can't take it anymore, you're miserable, and nothing has changed. Why would any sane person waste any more years like this?
Everything "should" be ok if you were compatible with this person. You're not. Move on and stop wasting your life-- it's the only life you get.
On that note-- if you died tomorrow, would you feel you had been in a loving, warm, satisfying relationship? Or would you think, crap, I wasted 6 years being unhappy and now I'm dead. Great.
2006-09-29 08:33:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm on my second marriage- my divorce was the best thing that could have happened. If you don't like the marriage, then you might just have to go through with a divorce. I always say that I traded in my VW (first wife, or "practice wife") for a BMW (second wife)!
2006-09-29 08:30:57 · answer #5 · answered by TJD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people can't live without some kind of drama in their lives. You shouldn't even have to ask the question, the answer is obvious.
2006-09-29 08:29:05 · answer #6 · answered by ready4it45 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to stick his ring where the sun don't shine and get out of that toxic relationship right now. Your self esteem is being kicked over and over and its unhealthy to live this way.
2006-09-29 08:33:18 · answer #7 · answered by teulonbranchlibrary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, leave and don't look back after 6 years it's not healthy to keep trying, it's over.
2006-09-29 08:32:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been "with" him for 6 years, and are not married yet?
And you fight?
Why would you even think of staying, you are being used.
Peace!
2006-09-29 08:30:55 · answer #9 · answered by C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing sounds right about this situation. You're certainly not ready for marriage with this guy.
2006-09-29 08:29:09 · answer #10 · answered by jazzmetalbassist 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋