The first week we did it a few times, then it was lucky if we did it more then one time in a month afterwards. Sex was used as a way to control my mind, and make me feel extremely guilty. Wife turned out to have a severe mental illness, and was using me as a fix. She was not capable of love because she does not understand the concept. I'm a mess now and I want to know what a normal marriage should be like.
2006-09-29 08:21:48 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To answer a few questions:
No I did not get married because of sex, it had nothing to do with it.
No we are not married anymore, she is now in and out of a mental hospital, does not have any concept of reality, and turns out she never loved me. She was using me to get away from her parents. She has Borderline Personality Disorder including schizophrenia with advanced hallucinations. She was not showing signs until about a year before we were married, then it came out full force a year after we were married. I had no idea what I was dealing with, and right now I do not even have a clue how to move on.
My question here is just because I am curious as to what a sex life could be.
To Shlane, I'm not sure what you are talking about but I spent day and night trying to make her happy which was an impossible task. Read about Borderline Personality Disorder if you do not believe me.
2006-09-29 08:40:46 · update #1
No this is not normal. A good marriage has a lot of Love and respect. I've been married over six years and have a young son. We have sex at least twice a week if not more. In the beginning it was everyday, but of course we've slowed down. Sex is not the most important thing, but it ranks a close second in having a good relationship.
2006-09-29 08:26:40 · answer #1 · answered by SHELLBELL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is such a thing as a "normal" sexual relationship...personally I've been married a couple of times, from experience I can tell you that it has alot to do with the way you feel about yourself, and to understand that sex is supposed to be about enjoying each other's bodies and having fun with it.....I personally take all I can get from my hubby, the last husband got cut off cause he always made me feel like I wasn't good enough...does this make any sense....how long have you been married?? Are you obligated to stay married to your wife if she severely mentally ill?? Good Luck....sex should be more than once or twice a month!!! More like a couple times a week or more!! That's just me though!! Good Luck!!
2006-09-29 08:29:38 · answer #2 · answered by kimbeesue63 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think that as newly weds having sex till you are sore, and then it calms down after a while for some never and for others a lot . but to use it for control should never be the solution. hat is not love. It sounds like she didn't care for it and also has a low libido or sex drive amongst other things. In a way i would say yes you were very cheated.
2006-09-29 08:29:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a normal marriage doesn't exist. A normal relation is a joining of equals, but doesn't have to be.
A stronger person can be dominating and the other person can be perfectly happy with that. If the weaker person is not, she/he needs to step up and take the deserved spot. If that's not possible in the existing relation, the relation will end. Same goes the outre way around. If one side of the relation needs to work to hard for it, without getting enough feedback you are in a the wrong position and matched with the wrong person.
Get over it and take your place, what ever it is!!
2006-09-29 08:26:45 · answer #4 · answered by pietaune 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a pretty normal marriage.
try doing new things to her like just giving her pleasure or giving her a nice back rub, Make a picnic outside on a nice day.
Try to get her to talk about the sex life you have, and always remind her that if she has any ideas at all to tell you. If she doesn't know what the concept of love is, show her. It's time for you to continuous profess your love in different ways. I know that sounds silly but you got to keep her attention on you and get her to open up.
2006-09-29 08:26:04 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ღαмαиdα♥ღ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A normal marriage should be for lack of a better term "comfortable" enough that you don't worry about how often you have sex. Sex should be a natural expression of two peoples love and/ or lust for each other. I would assume that you don't practice extra marital sex. I personally believe that sexual compatibility is important in the "life long partner" picture of marriage. As far as "normal it sounds like your ex was "frigid" or "sociopathic" try to remember it is not you.
2006-09-29 08:31:07 · answer #6 · answered by JAY J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...when I was married we had sex 2 or 3 times a day for years. Even after 19 years, it was at least once a day.
2006-09-29 08:24:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Newly wed means you should have sex almost everyday atleast 5 to 6 times a day. But things are different with different couples. But you are really sad.
2006-09-29 08:24:36 · answer #8 · answered by mapleleafydude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a newly-wed I'd think that twice a day would be more normal. Many wives use sex as a control device,even though it doesn't work! :-)=
2006-09-29 08:24:28 · answer #9 · answered by Jcontrols 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am with ya man, my sex life is pretty slow, and now I don't feel like having sex that often myself, so I am eager to see the answers.
2006-09-29 08:24:08 · answer #10 · answered by sherlockmeh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋