Ambition
What keeps you living,
Wherever you are,
No man lives without ambition.
Never taking place, Never coming out,
Therefore lasting till one dies.
Outside they are powerless,
Inside an eagle,
Its strength willing to take you anywhere,
Its distance from earth giving you a clear route,
Only to have to return down to survive.
Too delicate for reality,
Reality can knock you down in seconds,
Leaving you with nothing bur reality,
Turning you away from any dream,
After all that is what reality itself is.
When you have finished reader,
I must apologize,
For I have proved the delicacy of dreams,
With just words of cruel reality,
After all, reality is where we all live.
2006-09-29 08:21:06 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Your last stanza is just intolerably pretentious and condescending to the reader. You're hardly the first person to realize that reality can be disillusioning. Claiming it as your own insight is something that educators call "appropriating the commonplace," which means that you're taking something that everyone already knows and trying to pass it off as original.
You really seem to be making an effort to be speaking from a position of wisdom; you've made the poem a vessel to deliver your thoughts about ambition and reality. My advice is to actually think about ambition and reality and develop some real insights about them. As it stands, your poem makes some of the right formal gestures, but it's all empty posturing.
2006-09-29 11:16:20 · answer #1 · answered by Drew 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dig the first two stanzas, then I'm not sure where you're going in the last two. You flip from ambition to reality there. I guess I'm looking for a lift on ambition. You have excellent ideas though.
2006-09-29 15:39:03 · answer #2 · answered by trueblue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you articulate very well through poetry. I really understood the meaning behind this powerfully descriptive poem. I hope you realize your talent and enter some poetry contests, for recognition or publication. Or gather all your poems together and see if you can get a publication of your work out there. Thanks for sharing such an insightful poem. I hope poetry leads you many places you dream of during your life.
2006-09-29 15:33:26 · answer #3 · answered by brookiessugarsweet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good .y don't u publish some in magazines.
2006-09-29 16:00:02 · answer #4 · answered by anks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi this is man who likes you poem i think you should wirte a book
2006-09-29 15:25:53 · answer #5 · answered by 5779191 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
attack is very personal,
or i should say, many can relate (i can)
you may try making this longer...
i'm sure there are more things stuck in your head
2006-09-29 15:57:46 · answer #6 · answered by ikaboda111 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well done
its toooooooooo good
2006-09-29 15:28:40 · answer #7 · answered by shalin j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋