My husband did something that he knew was going to cause me to be upset.Without going into detail he's done this in the past to me he'll make a decision without consulting with me first.And this time he really caught me off guard and I reacted in a way that wasn't lady-like.To be blunt I cursed at him and he didn't get upset right away.The following day he brought it to my attention and of course we started to argue about it.In the midst of the argument he told me that if I ever cursed at him again he was going to punch me.Well this isn't the first time he's threatened to hit me and he can't understand why I would be a little bit bothered by the fact.That someone who professes to love you would actually afflict harm on you.That just doesn't sit well with me it doesn't matter how angry we both might make each other.It should never come down to violence.Not to mention I did apologize to him for cursing at him.Anyway I would love to know how would you feel if you were in my shoes?
2006-09-29 08:13:58 · 12 answers · asked by brooklyncrazysexycool 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If my husband threatened to hit me he might as well have done it. I absolutely would not put up with that. Personally I'd leave but I know it isn't always that easy. Good luck!
2006-09-29 08:17:29 · answer #1 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I would be hurt and sad, as I'm sure you are. It's very dissolutioning to have a person that you love threaten to cross the line in that way. Take comfort, however, in the fact that he did not hurt you and apparently has not hurt you in the past. That is a blessing in and of itself.
If I were you, I would wait for a time and then approach your spouse when you are both happy and in good spirits. I would bring it up casually that he had frightened you and made you sad over something he said in the past. Then share with him, calmly, your feelings and let him know that part of being a good husband is protecting his wife. He should never put you in a place of physical harm, even in his words. When you talk to him, be sure to again express your feelings of how cursing at him was wrong to make sure he doesn't feel that you are attacking him in any way.
Marriage is a partnership and communicating effectivley your feelings and pains will strengthen your bond and help reduce issues in future arguments.
My husband and I have been through this very issue and we worked it out and have become a stronger couple. I was very hurt though and felt betrayed by him when it first occured. Give yourself time to work through those emotions so that you do not bring those to the discussion you have with your spouse.
2006-09-29 15:33:48 · answer #2 · answered by brookebjpl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think the question is how would i feel? but more important what would i do? and the answer to that is not so simple. if you love him and believe he returns those feelings then it is necessary in order for this marriage to work - to make him understand that what he said was WRONG it doesn't matter if you were cursing at him. that is totally irrelevant. love is being with your partner despite the tough times, despite the arguments. there will always be times when you don't get along or are irritable, but that's life and violence or the threat thereof never has to be part of it.
if he can't understand how you feel about this then perhaps he does not have as strong feelings for you as you do for him.
good luck! i wish you all the best.
2006-09-29 15:27:09 · answer #3 · answered by phoenix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to get him to anger management and if he will not go its time to leave. Threats can become reality. Alot of people start with the sentence but he never did before or it only happened once or He said it would never happen again. Also its a bit of a concern that he isn't even wondering why it would bother you that he said this. Bad sign. Get help and good luck.
2006-09-29 15:21:05 · answer #4 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know....he may be saying this as sort of a "Bull elephant trumpeting to the herd" type comment. Although it really isn't right he's said this to you before but never actually followed through. I have told my wife..."Do that again and those baby blues will be baby black and blues". She knows I'm joking. She tells me that I'd better watch my step or she'll turn my family jewels into worthless heirlooms. So maybe it's just his way of telling you he's really angry with you.
I dunno...speculation.
2006-09-29 15:23:58 · answer #5 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he threatens to hit you he is likely to act on those threats, so you had better be careful. Also, if he constantly does things without consideration for your feelings, it seems that he doesn't reallty value the relationship either. The two of you have serious problems; maybe you should consider counseling.
2006-09-29 15:23:05 · answer #6 · answered by beattyb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you stay, he will eventually hit you. Just threatening it is wrong. Get counseling together, or go yourself if you have to. This is a bad situation, just waiting to get worse. You're sitting on a time bomb.
2006-09-29 15:26:17 · answer #7 · answered by risa131313 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he was saying it out of anger to hurt you....Now if he really punched you in the face that would be a different story.
He is just really trying to get under your skin.
2006-09-29 15:18:25 · answer #8 · answered by fatiegurl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well i think you should first apologize then talk to him and ask if it is that serious to hit people when they make you mad.Then try to reason with him a little and ask him not to hit you or not to threat you like that.Marriage is about love.
2006-09-29 16:03:47 · answer #9 · answered by isitclear2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him to take his best shot, that he's got to sleep sometime, and when he went to sleep I would take a ballbat to his wifebeating ***.
2006-09-29 15:21:27 · answer #10 · answered by lost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋