My boyfriend and i have been dating for almost 4 years (January 7th), I am now 19, and he is 21. I moved in with him the day after i graduated from highschool, which was 4 months ago, and then we got our own place together. I would like to take it to the next step, which is being engaged. We are very happy, we do not fight, we both have jobs, and cars. We love both of our families, and we have great friends. I ask him about getting married, and he said if we had the money we would. So would that mean that he is ready? He has told his parents that i am the one. And my parents are very smitten with him. My mom would really like some grandchildern. But i'm wondering if i'm thinking that i want to be engaged because, my cousin, who is 18, is engaged, and my bestfriend who is 18, is engaged, and is having a baby, and i want to be included. I don't know. I know that i love him, and i want to be with him forever. So do you think we should take it to the next step?
2006-09-29 08:01:44 · 11 answers · asked by erkie_gurl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do it because you love him, not because your cousin and friend are doing it.. You guys are already living together, all you guys need money for is a wedding, which does cost a pretty penny... Just wait... You're already living together... When the right time comes a long, or the right amount of money, he will buy a ring and propose... COngrats on your happy relationship, and good luck.. I'm just as lucky to have a relationship that just as happy as yours...
2006-09-29 08:06:25 · answer #1 · answered by qbanita0113 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If those are the only reasons that you want to be engaged or get married, then I would suggest not changing a thing. Trust me your relatives that are either engaged to be married or are pregnant and engaged to be married might not be as happy in their relationships as you and your man.
If things are going this well, don't change it. If it ain't broke don't try to fix it. Whats the hurry, your both still young. Enjoy what you have and find contentment in it for what it is, A good relationship.
When the time is right, you will know it and it will happen. If a family member or members wants to give you a hard time about taking your relationship to the next level, just tell them that you are happy with the way things are now, so you don't see any reason to rush into marriage.
Your not pregnant and will stay that way I hope until you are both ready for that sort of commitment.
In this day and age, the only reason for marriage is to make things legal and binding for financial and child rearing reasons. Other than that, it is outdated and archaic. If you have a good thing now, and can financially take care of yourself and you aren't pregnant, then whats your hurry. Take your time. Enjoy what you have.
2006-09-29 08:12:12 · answer #2 · answered by frankly2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your guy is mature and smart as the next step after marriage is children and a child costs a lot to raise to HS (about $275,000). So save $, plan on buying a house with both names (not apartment). Remember: 1) Engagement ring 2) Wedding ring 3) Suffer ring!! Both of you are still young, waith 3-5 more years!! Take time, $$, patience and maturity to have a good family!
2006-09-29 08:07:42 · answer #3 · answered by Antoine a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not do it because your cousin and bestfriend are engaged do it becasue you are in a comitted relationship and looking to make the ultimate commitment. Presently at your age you should be enjoying yourself with your boyfriend. I can't see a reason to jump right into having children as you have pleny of time for that.
2006-09-29 08:07:57 · answer #4 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To know when you are ready depends on what your beliefs and values about marriage and family are. For one thing, you and your prospective husband must have common values about those two things in order for your marriage to have a chance of being successful.
For many of us, those values are based on our religious beliefs. Hopefully, you have some-in which case, my suggestion for you would be to consider and discuss those beliefs with your boyfriend and make sure the two of you share the same values about marriage before you even think about it.
Next thing would be common goals. If personal goals conflict, someone needs to be willing to make a sacrifice for the good of the family. Those things need to be discussed and agreed upon in advance, especially when it comes to career goals. Also, you would want to discuss when and if to have and raise children.
A word of caution: it's been said that cohabitation before marriage is one of the most likely indicators of a marriage doomed to fail. I personally disapprove of cohabitation before marriage for moral as well as practical reasons. I also think that women have much more to lose from pre-marital cohabitation than men do.
2006-09-29 08:58:43 · answer #5 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure that both of you are mature enough for this big step, before someone ruins the other person's life and both people end up broke, unhappy, and alone.
2006-09-29 08:04:07 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything wrong with you two becoming husband and wife, but just make sure you guys are financially stable because weddings are expensive. Good Luck!
2006-09-29 08:13:24 · answer #7 · answered by Ambi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have too ask your not ready !!!
you should give your self time never rush into marriage.........
2006-09-29 08:06:52 · answer #8 · answered by tee k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure you REALLY ever know - hince the divorce rate.
2006-09-29 08:07:17 · answer #9 · answered by brainfreeze007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, if you have to ask, YOU ARE NOT READY!
2006-09-29 08:03:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋