should I go back to her or stay away?

Question

Hi! There is way more to this story then is allowed to write. I don't know what to do I have been hashing it out in my mind for days now and cannot decide. I need advice! I have been living with this girl on and off now for three and a half years. We get along for the most part but now and then we have big blow ups on any and all issues. I just moved out two weeks ago thinking at the time I'd never go back again. But now I miss her and we've been talking again. But it is always the same thing; we get along for awhile like a short honeymoon period and then it happens again. Then I always have a foot out of the relationship. Maybe it's me or maybe it's both of us. I am having a hard time dealing with the thought of her being with someone else. Am I just nuts? Should I just let her go and move on until I find someone more compatible. Do I really love her? I feel like I do at the times when we are good together. But when we are not good together it is hard to be with her. Let me know t/y

Answer 1

she is not the best match for u so go ahed and find a better match that will help u to forget her

Answer 2

Since it's been going on for so long, it would seem that this back and forth relationship isn't going to change for the better, at least in the near future. What you both need now is to back off from each other and give each other some space. For one thing, that means living on your own and not moving back in together unless this particular issue gets settled.

After that's been taken care of, the both of you need to sit down together and try to analyze (1) why you seem to be unable to have these disagreements without them turning into big blowouts (2) see if the arguments you're having have any similarities that might represent underlying and unspoken issues between the two of you that have never been talked about, let alone settled and (3) determine if this is simply an anger management problem either one or the both of you have which means it may not be a relationship issue at all.

Regardless, the root of these arguments needs to be determined, whatever the cause.

This could take more than one session and that's O.K. Now if she refuses to discuss this situation seriously, gives up too soon rather than giving it a chance to solve this problem, or won't even bother to sit down and discuss this at all, then that should be a clear sign that this relationship just isn't going to work out.

On the other hand, if she's willing to work with you on this, then it's a good sign that this relationship has a chance of getting mended.

The rest of it is up to you two and depends on what you can discover about the reasons behind this problem.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Ask her why she's mad at you. Get to the core of the problem. Sit down and communicate with her like two mature adults instead of yelling and screaming and then moving out over it. Handle your problems, don't run away from them. Do you enjoy fighting constantly on and off? What kind of relationship is that? Of course you will disagree, but you've both created some kind of pattern in your relationship and it's definitely not a good one. And it should also tell you something if you keep fighting over the same things and never resolving them. It probably isn't even anything to do with what you are fighting about it could very well be something completely off the subject of your fight. Whether or not she finds someone else isn't the point. That shouldn't be the reason why you stay or not. You shouldn't just stay with someone because you don't want them with anyone else but you or you're jealous. There are a lot more important reasons than that. You definitely should get some counseling either talk with your parents or her parents or if you have money get a professional counselor if you really think you want to make this work. I mean you have 3 1/2 yrs. It depends on how much the relationship means to you. But you can't keep going on like this. And why should you have to move out anyway? Is it her place? You should just get your own place or start looking. Move out and see where things go. If they don't change then you will be safe from more hurt and her fighting. Good luck! Don't put up with nonsense.

Answer 4

To me it sounds like she or even the both of you are very young. Please don't take that in the wrong way. I feel that moving out and away from her is the best thing. Both of you need to mature a lot more. Start dating her again and really get to know her. Be intimate with her but, don't take her to bed. Get to know her as a person and then work together on the relationship. You may find out that your better friends than you are lovers. Something that you both need to know is are you working towards the same goals? If not, then someone is always going to put their feelings and goals on hold just to satisfy the other. You want to unite with her and not distance yourselves. Something that I learned is that communication is the key to a healthy steady relationship. I not this isn't exactly what you want to hear but, at times the pain helps us see the end of the rainbow. God Bless.

Answer 5

For one , your not dating a girl . A Gal or lady maybe . But by saying your dating this girl makes you sound like a in mature male that has no respect for your relationship. Ask around . You'll find out I'm right . Next if you fight all the time off and on , why stay in the relationship? If your just shacking up there's no respect for her any way . Hey why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. She just your un-paid hooker that you do and don't get along with . Maybe if she respected herself a little more she would have dumped you a long time ago . If you both don't see this , than you deserve each other tri-fold.

Answer 6

Everyone has hard times they go through. That doenst mean you should leave the relationship if you really love eachother. You both need to communicate when you are having problems. Realtionships are hard enough,but if you dont have communication then you have nothing. It sounds to me like you love her and she loves you....or you wouldnt be going through this. Maybe you both need to take a break from eachother for awhile,,,and see where it goes from there. Personally i would stick it out and make it work,,,especially if i loved that person. Everyone has issues to deal with. Make it work.

Answer 7

I have found that your first instinct is the better way to go. If it feels that you aren't getting anywhere, then just let it go. As I have found you always ind the best things when you are not looking for them or a wrapped up in something that isn't going anywhere. Get over her there are many more girls out there who are worth your full attention. Hell I met my love of my life in a restaurant at 3 am.

Answer 8

It sounds like a love to hate relationship. As hard as it may be, you should move on and find someone you can better get along with.

Answer 9

Every relationship has its ups and downs. Just try to find something to do about your arguments. Ex: Talk about it with her or try to watch a movie with her to take your mind off it. Or just have sex that always works!!!! The next time you 2 get into it just straight **** and that will end all frustrations!

Answer 10

Stay away and work on your issues separately. You are not giving enough time in between to heal the pain you cause each other.

Answer 11

Work it out & quit running away when you get in to a fight. Deal with the issues & talk to her about your feelings. Don't let it turn in to an agruement, just talk.