Ok, well, my ex with whom I was with for 2 years just wanted a friendship with me because he wasn't ready for a relationship with me. So then he tells me that another reason is because he is confused about what he feels for me. So then I decided to end everything with him. I wanted to be with him in a relationship or at least working our way to the relationship but he just wanted a friendship. So that is when I took my decision. But then he tells me that if I would have taken the friendship, that it was going to show whether we would go back together or not. So I feel like I did the wrong thing in a way. But then I didn't want him to play with me by keeping me on the side for now and then he be with another girl. So I don't know if I did the right thing or not. Was is the right thing that I did or not???????
2006-09-29 07:00:35 · 17 answers · asked by Lessons_in_life10 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It was totally right. Sounds like he was playing mind games with you. You do this it makes me do that is not a relationship. He just wanted to keep you as a backup. Move on and know you did the right thing. Good luck and go find a guy that deserves you.
2006-09-29 07:04:00 · answer #1 · answered by smile4u 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So he was only going to consider taking you back as a girlfriend if you were willing to just settle for friends?
Well, if you weren't willing to be just friends with him, then you were going to spend a lot of time miserable until he decided you had passed his little test, and in that time you might well have done something extremely stupid that would have alienated him completely. I say you just skipped ahead a bit and saved yourself a bunch of embarrassment and extra heartache.
FWIW, I don't think a relationship can work long-term unless there is a friendship as well, but you still did right by not putting yourself in a position you could not maintain comfortably.
2006-09-29 14:05:51 · answer #2 · answered by Katie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide if it was right or wrong. You have to ask yourself would you be able to handle a friendship with him knowing he may talk to other people. Don't let him play you.
Sometimes you need to be firm and let them know that you mean business. but it's important not to play games. Someone always loses in the games people play.
If you want to be with him that much. Test him and see where is head is. Talk to him and let him know you do want to be friends. If he has a different excuse this time then you may need to re-evaluate the situation. He may be keeping you for a lonely night. Be careful..
2006-09-29 14:09:36 · answer #3 · answered by t j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always feel that a woman should follow her intuition because most times it will never steer her wrong. I feel you did the right thing, and I would do the same simply because I dont like to placed on hold, or treated like a stepping stone until he finds something he assumes is better. Whatever it is that you desire, go for it and dont ever accept anything less. Good girl!
2006-09-29 14:08:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is playing with your emotions. You don't need him in your life. True love means never having to test it. Besides, if you made the decision to just be friends, that's obviously what you wanted so you should stick with that and remember why and how you came to that decision. Go out and find someone who appreciates you for how great you are!
2006-09-29 14:05:13 · answer #5 · answered by brainy_blonde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly think that you made the right decision. You shouldn't be someone who's on the side line for him. It's not fair for you. If he's confused, then he needs to figure things out for himself, and not tell you, "well if you picked this, then that would happen".. NO! It doesn't work like that! Best of luck!
2006-09-29 14:04:56 · answer #6 · answered by marypaz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing!! If he broke up with you and wanted only to be friends he was just messing with you so he could be with other women. I am proud of you for your strength to do that. If he really cant live without you he will come back to you and then you can tell him you just want to be friends. Then he will know exactly how you felt.
2006-09-29 14:05:05 · answer #7 · answered by Tinkerbelle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if that was his ultumatum then that is what he wanted. if you did not agree then you did the right thing. just leave things the way they are and see what happens next.
I did this with my bf of 2 1/2 yrs, told him to wait, and once i moved out, he went searching immidiately for someone else. someone he had on the side lines. I was hurt but I wanted to see if he is what i wanted. and he wasnt. and apparantly i wasnt what he wanted neither.
2006-09-29 14:09:32 · answer #8 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the answer! Girl, don't doubt your logic. You were right. Ooooo is this guy manipulative! Sorry, but you were TOTALLY right to walk. Keep your self-respect and trust your judgement. I know you WISH it were different, but you had it right the first time. I am glad you moved on. Now stop taking crap from the guy, okay? You are smart and mature. He is not. Keep up your good sense!
2006-09-29 14:05:09 · answer #9 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were absolutely in the right. He was simply putting you on the back burner, so he could date other people. Anyways, if you have feelings for this guy, could you have seriously just sat around, "as friends", and watched him go out with other girls???
2006-09-29 14:12:01 · answer #10 · answered by ammecalo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋