Would you Stay or Leave?

Question

I haev to ask this for my friend since she is a complete mess and thus cannot do it herself, plus I'd like advice. Here's the story in a short version. Her boyfriend of almost two years got messed up with the law and is about to face heavy jail time, maybe a few years or so, I'm not up on law like that but anyway they originally had plans, before all of this, for her to move there and be with him and she got the ticket way way back in advance. Now she's a few weeks away from going and now this. She still would like to go but people are telling her she should stay where she is but she wants to be close as possible to him and his family, which she is also close to. If she stays her family will give her a hard time about how she's wasting her time on him but she cares for him too much to just abandon him. I do not know what to say but I figured she should go, find a cheap apartment, so at least she has a place to stay while she figures out her next move but others tell her different.

They tell her to just stay and leave it at that but she loves him far too much, that and she'd like to get away from where she is and start anew while she waits for him, maybe even visit him if she can. Question to all of you is what would you do if this is the person you truely love and yes they made a mistake, would you give up and stay or go as planned so at least she's close to him and his family and she can find work and a place. She knows a few people there, not enough to help her out but this is something she wants to do. What do you all suggest?

Answer 1

As long as what he did wasn't something aimed towards harming another person and I didn't think he'd do it again I'd probably go...I mean heck, I've been with my hubby for 15 years and he's some pretty whacked out things and my fam has wanted me to leave him but our loves too strong for that.

Answer 2

I would stay put but there are alot of variables in this ? .first off does she know she can get a job there and a place to stay? 2nd does she really love this guy ? and if he is facing heavy jail time then something bad really happened and maybe he is even doing drugs or involved with some bad ppl does she want to subject herself to all that? Good Luck i hope this helps.

Answer 3

Yikes. The logic in staying with a guy who has serious problems is beyond me. This girl needs to think about HER and her life instead of saving some guy. Let him grow up and prove himself a good man before donating her life to him. I don't get it. Is this the kind of life she wants to look forward to? Does she want this guy to be the father of her children? Why? There are nice, kind, hard-working men out there who have never even visited a prison. I don't understand why she would even consider continuing on with this guy. If he got arrested this time, he will get arrested again. If that's what she's into, then sure, go there and waste the next several years waiting for him to get out of prison. But while she's there, have her enroll in community college and get a good education so she can support herself and her kids later because he sure won't be doing it. Best of luck. Nice of you to look out for your friend. Sorry for the sarcasm, but honestly, if one wants to save people, then they should go to school and get a job that pays them to do it, not ruin their own lives and their children's by hooking up with losers.

Answer 4

I think she should stay where she's at right now, and not move to another place.

I wouldn't suggest that she leave yet, at least not until the dust settles, and she knows EXACTLY what's going on.

She doesn't really know anyone out there, and it would be too lonely. At least if she stayed where she is, she has family and her friends out her to comfort her if she needs it. Best of luck!

Answer 5

tough one ! it depends on two points i think. point one is, have they ever met in real life? is this a cyber relationship? if this is the case then i would stay put and write to the guy while he is doing his time.
point two, if they have both met in real life, how long have they been seeing each other for? if they have seen each other in rl for a long time then go for it and follow your heart. if she goes to work and visits him they will, over time, realise thier true feelings for each other. but, visiting someone behind bars, she will not get the real person because he wont be able to be himself. it will probaby be a false relationship! and, when he i released she will begin to see the real him and might not like it. not knwing what his offence is, she may even be in danger herself. if she is a strong willed and strong minded
person she will be able to stand on her own two feet and maybe meet someone new . the possibilities are endles and things never turn out how you expect them to. hope this is food for thought. all i say is, keep safe! and good luck.

Answer 6

I would stay where she is. I wouldn't go out there just to be close to him in jail, they can always write back and forth. And after such a long absence she may move on to someone else.

Answer 7

Go to him.. but don't limit yourself.. make sure you have a return ticket and don't commit to waiting for him while he is in jail. Writing is ok.. but don't wait..

Answer 8

I, personally, would not move. If this is truly love, she will be there for him when he gets out. This is his sentence, not hers. She should not have to flip-flop her life because of his mistake.

Answer 9

If you even have to ask the question "Would you Stay or Leave?"
LEAVE! Its for the bast.

Answer 10

I think it's her decision. If she wants to be close to him, she should.