I am friends with a guy who treats me like his girl. But won't committ. He is faithful to me and has been for 3 years. He says you don't have to have title in order to be in a relationship. We spend all of our time together. I want a committment he wants a friend. What should I do?
2006-09-29 06:14:56 · 34 answers · asked by t j 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
false. He wont commit to YOU. That doesnt mean he wont commit.
2006-09-29 06:17:28 · answer #1 · answered by Chuck C 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why should he committ when you've been there for the last 3 years? Right now, he has it made. He has you as a friend with the gf benefits, minus the committment, AND if something better comes along, he's free to hit it. JACKPOT in his eyes. Seems like he's keeping his options open and maybe you should as well. It's better to move on now then wait another year or 2. Good luck.
2006-09-29 06:26:36 · answer #2 · answered by SatinDoll1976 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he might not be sure that you're the right "one" for him. He's worried that something better might come along and he might fall for her. Or at least he wants his options open to check out other women. Or, it's possible he *knows* that you're the one for him and doesn't expect to find anyone better, but he doesn't want to commit to a *relationship* at all. He doesn't want to be committed to always having to check his plans with someone else, to commit to spending time with you on a regular basis and putting effort into keeping the relationship strong... a relationship means a certain loss of freedom and independence. Maybe he wants that freedom to answer to no one but himself, to come and go as he pleases, sleep were he wants, go out where and when he wants and not need to worry about you or what you're thinking or where you are or what you're doing. That is why men fear committment. You should move on. If he won't use a title then I guess he's not being fair to you. He's right that you don't need a title. But YOU WANT a title. And if he's not willing to give it to you, then it's clear to me that he doesn't care about you and your feelings the way that he should.
2006-09-29 06:21:26 · answer #3 · answered by pamgissa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some men want to keep their options open. I had the hardest time trying to get my Ex husband to even tell me that he loved me when we were dating. Took him eight months. Problem was he wanted me to see him on a regular basis for several months but he didn't want me to see anyone else; ( with no commitment). He was a real jerk. He even told me he had to be 100% sure. I must have been a glutton for punishment.
I told him if he didn't feel the same way I was going to start dating other guys. When it came to marriage he used every excuse he could, his job, etc..He also mentioned that marriage was just a piece of paper and said why couldn't I be happy with things the way they were. He couldn't stand the thought that I kept my money in my name. I saw all the signs; but I only saw what I wanted to see. So I married the the Jerk another 5 months later. Needless to say I left him 6.5 years later. I never felt like that man loved me.
The woman he is with now he has been with almost 5 years and he still hasn't married her.
If a man treats you like this and you have been with him a long time; it's time to do some deep soul searching to figure out if this is the way you want to live your life. He is selfish and if you ever get anything out of the relationship it will be because you insisted. In the meantime use him like he is using you.
2006-09-29 21:16:05 · answer #4 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of us are always looking for the next best thing to come around. Some of us are too scared to be locked down. Any some just don't really like you THAT much to commit.
It's also a good tactic to make yourself more desireble by constantly being chased and not do the chasing.
If he wants a friend, thats it. Move on. Don't let him have some more milk down the line if he won't buy the cow.
2006-09-29 06:19:17 · answer #5 · answered by reconflux 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may be faithful, but he also is treating you as much more than a "friend". Many men will play the friend/girlfriend? (back and forth) card in order to be able to walk out when they want. I don't know this guy, so it's hard-to-say, but there is always that possibility for some deception in this kind of situation. If you've been totally honest as far as your intentions towards him and he continues to insist you are only a good friend, I would be a bit skeptical that you both want the same things in life, and be cautious accordingly. If he really is 'your guy', than what would be keeping him from saying so, unashamedly?
2006-09-29 06:21:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said he is faithful to you and has been for 3 years. It sounds to me like he is commited, he just doesn't like to admit it!
Talk to him about it. If you are in a sexual relationship with this man, and he is not seeing anyone else, than the commitment is already there. Don't push him to hard, unless you are ready to give up the realtionship that you currently have with him. Some people have a hard time with the word "commitment", it sounds like he is one of them.
You need to decide what you want out of this relationship. If you are happy with him, and you want to remain in this relationship, then you better tread carefully! You may push him away.
2006-09-29 06:32:51 · answer #7 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, try to make your question a little more specific. I.e., "Why won't SOME men commit?" Second, if you both want different things from the relationship, it might be time to move on. Let him find another girl who only wants friendship, while you try to find someone who is looking for commitment as you are. You can't force him to want what you do, and gracefully accepting that he doesn't is the mature thing to do.
2006-09-29 06:18:18 · answer #8 · answered by auskan2002 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he IS commited to you . The next step ( title ) will come . Many peeps have a long , loving relationship, without a piece of paper. Umm , Kurt russell & Goldie Hawn , come immediately to mind . Some people are just afraid of the IDEA of commitment , even though they pratice it. Dont push too hard , or it might back-fire on you . Good-Luck !
2006-09-29 06:21:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend knows about the 3 rings of commitment:
1) Engagement ring
2) Wedding ring
3) Suffer ring
He!he!He He is a smart guy!!!
2006-09-29 06:17:23 · answer #10 · answered by Tony I 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a lie, i know young guys who committ and marry, guys only committ to girls they really want to be with, a girl will committ to anyone who says she is cute. os if u have a guy who won't committ its cause he's using u, if you want more than sex... move on..... now!!!! three years wasted... u should have been using him......
2006-09-29 06:18:42 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋