my friends husband of 6 yrs got caught driving in a car with a prositute. at 3 a.m. he was high on drugs and drunk. he swore nothing happend with the girl, that she was showing him were to get drugs. he told his wife that he will go get tested for STD's and everything else. he actually made an appointment. so my question do you think she should try to work things out with him or forget about it? He also said that he is gonna get help for his addiction problems too. He has been a real jerk verbal abuse to her bad through out their relationship. They have had alot of problems, he has been in and out of jail throught their marriage.
2006-09-29
06:05:30
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18 answers
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asked by
shorte716
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in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
okay everyone don't get mad at me but it's not my friend its me. alot of you said that its not my buiseness. but you see it is. it is hard being in that situation, b/c me i would tell my friend to leave it is easier said then done. we have 3 kids together. i know i am better off with out him. we have been seperated for 6 months, so he is not living with us. he says that he needs me to be their for him so when he feels the need to get high, he has me to talk to instead. i know i can only make the dcision, but sometimes it helps to hear other people's thoughts. thanks .
2006-09-29
06:31:01 ·
update #1
I'm sorry, I don't understand your question because the answer is obvious. If you want to know the future of your friend, look to the past. He's not going to change. If he does, it will be a miracle. He should get help, but he should do it on his own. You cannot make him do that and you cannot make your friend leave him or forgive him. She needs to do this on her own. All you can do is hope and pray they figure this out together. You should not get involved with other people's marriages unless it is to point them in the direction of councelling and/or a church. After that you need to leave well enough alone. I'm sorry to say it isn't your buisness. If you know that he is hitting her, call the cops. That is all you can do.
I thought it might be you. This site is completely anonymous so do not be afraid to state your problem. Nobody will know it's you.
ok, here it goes, He does not need you. He has made it clear that he needs the drugs. It is an adiction and he has put that addiction before his family for a long time. Stay seperated. Stay seperated for a long time. He will only keep choosing drugs. He wants his cake and eat it too but it does not work that way. I am not a fan of divorce but if comes down to it, absolutely. He needs God. God is the only way to get through this. He has the power to change anything. This has nothing to do with how much your husband loves you or how much you love him or how many kids you have. You have stepped up to the plate and taken care of your kids and yourself and you did it without using drugs. Raising children is one of the most stressful jobs out there...most rewarding but most stressful. He should be ashamed of himself making you choose to be without him and raise the children by yourself. That is NOT behaving like a man. He is just another child and you don't need the headache. You are not his mother. You are supposed to be his equal his lover his best friend, but he is also supposed to be those things. He is not being those things to you. If he needs to talk to someone, tell him to talk to God. If he wants to talk about you or the kids, then he can call you. Otherwise let him go. I know it's not easy but girl, you made it this far. With faith, hope, Jesus and great friends, you can make it furthur. I will pray for you and your family. It will all work out, you will see. Maybe not the way you expect and maybe not right away... but it will.
2006-09-29 06:14:37
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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That's horrible. Being that he was high on drugs and drunk, I wouldn't be able to take his word about nothing happening with the prostitute.
I think that she can't try to work anything out, unless he works out the issues he has with himself. He needs to get help about the drugs, and any abuse that he does to her.
If she loves him and if he loves her, he'll seek help. This is a very unhealthy relationship. Best of luck to your friend!
2006-09-29 06:08:41
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answer #2
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answered by marypaz 3
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He seems to be a real catch.
Driving unedr the influence of drugs and alcohol, soliciting a prostitute and probably violating probation... a few years in jail will cool his bad @$$ down.
Your friend deserves better. he is an addict, a cheater and a criminal. He belongs in jail and not in your friends home.
Good luck
2006-09-29 06:08:49
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answer #3
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answered by Blunt 7
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okay, now that i know that you're actually talking about yourself here you have to ask yourself if your marriage is worth going through all these difficult times that your husband seems to be putting you through. only you can answer your own question about whether you want to stay or not but remember the consequences that it brings along with it should you decide to stay. Good luck!
2006-09-29 06:32:00
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answer #4
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answered by Ruth R 3
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once an addict always an addict..........if she loves him it will be hard for you to convince her to leave him even thats what she need to do because addicts especially of drugs and alcohol tend to get pyshically abusive after a while and if he is already verbally abusive it is just right around the corner....my advice to you is to stand by her and give her a shoulder to cry on and give her comfort when she needs it cause trust me shes gonna need it.
2006-09-29 06:13:23
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answer #5
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answered by mla_forver 1
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2016-10-18 05:00:01
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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Anybody deserves a second chance , if he really loves her she can be the sole impulse for try to cure himself , but if he fail again that will mean he can really control himself and just because he loves her he has to let her go because he's her sickness and if he can get cured why she can't be cured from him.
2006-09-29 06:17:42
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answer #7
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answered by Paul Alexandru Cazacliu 3
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I wouldn't believe a word that came out of his mouth. Drugs and prostitutes is not a combo to mess with. Not to mention one by itself is awful and can KILL YA, but both...hell to the no...I wouldn't risk my life any further with this loser.
2006-09-29 06:08:30
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answer #8
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answered by Mean Carleen 7
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oh with all the drama she has with him dump him he is a loser and she can do better no more chances for him he will continue to repeat the cycle he may go get help and stay clean but he will relapse again
2006-09-29 06:10:41
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answer #9
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answered by teresa d 4
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Does she still love him? If so, have them work it out if he is willing to get help. If hes not or wont stay in treament, then show him the door!
2006-09-29 06:08:51
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answer #10
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answered by kevin T 3
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