I have been married for four years we have a two year old, My husband works a full time job and I work a part time job. I care for my son all day and then work at night. My husband complains that he doesn't get to relax after work because he has to care for our son while I am working. He always complains about being stressed. I work,Take care of our child,clean, cook ,run errands etc and he is stressed. Now am I being unreasonable to chastise him? Is there women in the same situation who feel they don't get the respect they deserve.
2006-09-29 06:03:47 · 16 answers · asked by arizonabrat 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
don't you feel stressed?? if not kudos to you...if so just be glad he's talking about it to you instead of somebody else...instead of chastising him tell him you feel stressed too and maybe you can comfort each other instead of fight...or figure out a way that both of you can get little breaks...will give you more self respect for trying instead of getting upset and hopefully he will understand and then the both of you will feel better...Good Luck
2006-09-29 06:22:37 · answer #1 · answered by bunny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem you are encountering will not be solved this way. He is telling you that he is struggling with his duties.Your response runs this way , What about me, I can do it, I don't understand why you cannot do it. You have TOTALLY missed the point. He is giving you notice that he is encountering stress this way and you have turned it into an I'm better than you at being a mom thing. When did his problem become you not getting the respect you deserve?
I have no clue what type of work he does but if it is physical or requires high concentration he will be burnt out at the end of the day. You on the other hand go to work ,I also don't know where, after a day of taking care of the children and the house. Your job might actually allow you to relax after that, I don't know. The point being that it is possible he is having a problem dealing with it and your attitude does not help, only belittles. Chastise him? Keep that up and you will be doing this without him around, without help, and he will be relaxing in his own apartment.
Turn your focus into solving the problem or at least showing a thread of empathy and you have a chance. Continue to tell him he should not have a problem when he does and your attitude will send him running.
Presumably in a few years your son will be involved in baseball, soccer, boy scouts, football, basketball, or any one of a hundred youth activities. Who do you suppose that task will fall to? Deal with the problem and stop the you vs. me crap. This road has no good outlet.
2006-09-29 06:48:46 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, it's not a matter of respect, people need some time to relax. to come home from work only to have to go right back to work babysitting would suck. I agree domestic chores are 'work' but they are done at a different pace and on your terms and so are not as stressful as 'work-work'. I'd suggest putting the kid in day care while you work your part time. You two would then have your evenings together and could share the care of your son and have some down time too.
2006-09-29 06:47:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES!!! Same thing here! Men are just unable to understand how much harder it is to be a "mother" than it is to just be a dad who goes to work to make money. My husband does the same. I don't work but take care of all the finances, housework, kids, and so on. I do not have a day off since my job is here at home, so I tried to compromise with him to just give me one of his 3 days off where I can relax and decompress. Oh my gosh, you would've thought I asked him to run the house for the rest of his life! Yeah they are unreasonable and have no idea what it really is like.
2006-09-29 06:11:27 · answer #4 · answered by Nikie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
And then men say that stay at home moms do nothing. Let him pull his load of responsability and learn to appretiate how hard it is to take care of a toddler at home.
tell him that if he enjoys a second income he has to suck it up. Also compromise and find a babysiietter ONCE a week so he can de-stress. Monday is a good day to do this,
If it's possible, find another job that will allow you to spend more time to enjoy your family on the same schedule.
Best of luck.
2006-09-29 06:16:45 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yup sounds like you're both stressed. So what are you going to do about it? Maybe you need to finds ways for both of you to relax rather than making this a competition.
2006-09-29 06:06:58 · answer #6 · answered by Cary Grant 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Prophet Mohammed(pbuh) even suggested some thing to the end result that people who're better of adult men are the superb to their different halves. i might would desire to declare that generally lifestyle performs aside in how adult men will handle their women. i'm fortunate, my husband is an exceptionally comfortable guy who helps me extra then he has to.
2016-10-15 08:30:24 · answer #7 · answered by seelye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The point is you guys both feel stressed. Is there anything you guys could do to make it easier? Maybe preschool or day care?
2006-09-29 06:11:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to grow up if he didnt want the stress of raising a kid he should have used protection in the first place nooo you are not wrong for "chastising him "
2006-09-29 06:08:25 · answer #9 · answered by lita 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I expect you'll get many positive replys on this one. Both martyrs and women like yourself who'd appreciate some well deserved assistance.
2006-09-29 06:07:41 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋