Is my girlfriend pregnant? If so, what do we do?

Question

This past saturday my girlfriend and I had unprotected sex, and yes I know it was stupid, but she was supposed to start her period Wednesday and she hasnt yet. I really lost im 19 and she is 20, if she turns out pregnant I want to be there for her and the baby, and will take care of them both. But she has mentioned abortion I think because she is scared im not gonna help her, but I will be. How do I assure her I will be there, and talk her our of the abortion? What will our parents do? How do we tell our parents, do I need to be there when she tells her parents? Niether of us have meet each others parents, how do we work with that? Im lost and need help, and I need to know what to do for her more than anything.

Answer 1

First of all, it is too soon to tell. Until the test says positive, you don't know for sure.

Second of all, if she is pregnant, it's mature of you to stand up and be a man about. I'm glad you recognize that this is half your fault and it is your responsibility to take care of her and your offspring. When you tell your parents, you can do it alone, when you tell her parents, you should be there with her and you should tell them yourself. No matter what happens now, you need to know that you are the man in this family and when you create a family unit it becomes your responsibility (even if you don't get married), which her parent's may ask you to do.

Thirdly, you should both educate yourselves about abortion. There are a lot of things they don't tell you. Like, if your girlfriend is pregnant, the baby probably already has a heartbeat. It is a person in there. I'm not trying to make your decision for you, I just think you should know the truth.

Fourthly, educate yourself generally. Look into all your options. If you are unable to keep the baby, there are hundreds of families who can't have children who would be happy to adopt.

If you decide to keep the baby, be there with her. You owe her anything and everything. Pregnancy is hard work and even the most empathic men will never understand.---but do try! :-)

Answer 2

Well late periods have many causes, not just pregnancy, stress and health problems being some causes. If she's still not started in a couple of weeks then take a pregnancy test and get to the doctors to discuss options.

You say you want to stand by her and that is admirable, if she is pregnant then she will need all the support available. As for the parents, you're both legally adults so though they may be angry, disappointed etc they'll get used to the idea, if your girlfriend wants you there when you tell her parents then go along! I was 18 when I had my son and although it's been hard and my parents and friends were shocked I wouldn't change a thing and he's adored by everyone now!

If she isn't pregnant then please learn from this scare if you don't want another one and use protection (that sounds so patronising I know but still got to be said!!)

Good luck!

Answer 3

First take a deep breath and relax she may not even get pregnant it's way too early to tell. Just in case she does get pregnant go ahead and meet each others parents now. Abortion is wrong no matter how old you are and could be the biggest mistake of your life. If she feels strongly about this you may not be able to change her mind. She's probably just scared of what her parents will say, it's alot harder on the women. The best thing you can do is be there for her let her know you'll do anything you can for her and the baby. If all goes well with her parents she may have a change of mind about the abortion her parents may never allow it anyway.

Answer 4

First off let me tell you... I'm 21, got pregnant at 20 also. I thought it'd be fun having a kid and possibly was ready. Nobody is ready for a child trust me. I got a little 2 and a half month old right now suckin on his paci and even though he is so adorable and loving, he is also very frustrating. Being a full-time parent (there's no such thing as part-time) is very hard and nothing like you've experienced before, and chances are you both will not end up together in the long run, regardless of your love for the baby. I'm not trying to scare you off or anything but in reality, it doesn't matter what age you are, these things could happen.

I had thought of abortion too even though I'm a christian and always believed it was wrong. One thing that helped me was in high school I researched a debate topic for speech class on prochoice or prolife and had the whole class watch a video on an abortion actually taking place. It really is a gruesome event and it could also cause mental problems in the mother of the child. My mother had two abortions when she was young and she has to take all sorts of pills to make her not feel emotion so she can get through each day without a breakdown.

My decision after the optional abortion months of being pregnant was adoption, I even went as far as looking for parents and finding adoption clinics. I thought someone else could take care of my baby better than I could being a single parent. I'm not sure how you could assure her, because right now she is realizing that for at least 18 years there is no breakup, divorce, or seperation from her baby as there could possibly be with you. All you can really do is try to support her with her needs and feelings as much as you can. Even with a confident mother going through a planned pregnancy, women's hormones are racing full-speed.

Telling your parents may seem like the most important thing and the hardest to do, but it really doesn't matter how you tell them. If her dad is old fashioned he'll be upset at you for violating his daughter if you're there or he'll be mad at you for not showing up and being a "man" lol.

Anyways, back to the abortion thing, you should take time to look at this website and show her as well before making any decisions. Keep in mind it's very graphic but 99% of those who decide on abortion do so with no knowledge. Please view the site: http://www.prolifetraining.com/Abortion-Warning.htm

Answer 5

Well i wouldn't be worrying yet if she is only 2 days late.....wait until she actually gets a positive pregnancy test before you start freaking out. Lots of girls periods are like that.
19&20 are not that young, you are both plenty old enough to get good jobs and support the baby.
The only way that you can show her that you will be there is to just BE THERE! Keep talking to her about it and showing her you care.
As far as the abortion, Dont she know that is MURDER! You really need to talk some sense into her about that!
The parents cant' really do anything about it sense you are both adults. But yes, the responsible thing to do would be to tell her parents with her. Be careful though, Dads usually don't take to kindly to these sorts of things. Don't expect them to be happy for you immediatly!
Also, if you 2 are serious, it wouldn't hurt to propose to her, and get married b4 the baby gets here.....Good Luck! Pray about it!

Answer 6

First of all you both are adults telling your parents should not be a big deal. If you are that worried about it, don't have sex! Just prove to her through your actions that you will be there for her that should be enough, being pregnant is very scary, how about marriage if she is pregnant that way the baby has two parents, thats a start. That is the kind of comitment your girlfriend needs right now. I was 20 and my husband was 22 when I got pregnant, when we found out he proposed, we got married had a beautiful daughter, we have now been together for 11 years and just had another baby, it can work, remember you ARE adults, your parents can have an opinion but it is your life not theres

Answer 7

She could be pregnant. Have her take a home pregnancy test. If she is, kudos to you for being there for her. That is what every girl needs if she finds herself in that situtation. Let her know from the start that if she is pregnant you will do everything in your power to take care of her and the baby. If she is truly considering an abortion and you really want this baby, talk to her about the positives of keeping the child. If she really decides she is not ready to be a mother, tell her to consider adoption. I believe that every baby deserves a chance. Be honest with the parents as well and be respectful. I will pray for you. Best of luck.

Answer 8

I experienced everything in your question. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my first. She should definetely go buy a pregnancy test at the drug store. If shes pregnant you BOTH need to decide together what you need/want to do. Be with her when she takes the test also. If she decides abortion... make sure thats your last resort. Dont do it because your scared of having a baby and telling parents.
You need to just tell her you will do everything in your power to make it work... believe me its overwhelming but you can make it work. You BOTH need to sit down and tell the parents. Maybe yours first and then hers.
Meet the parents first ... the maybe when shes about 3 months you can tell the parents. She most likely wont be showing a belly yet.

Answer 9

Well, the best thing would be to take a pill in the market before 72 hours of unprotected sex. Its good that she was supposed to have period on wednesday as over a cycle of 29-30 days, days 14-21 are supposed to be the most fertile. Hopefully, she must not be pregnant.

You guys still have time to avert a diaster, as both of you are way too young, and please do not try to be a hero. Find out how she feels about it... if she really wants to handle the responsibility of a child. I admire your courage to be by her side. Try the home pregnancy kit.

Answer 10

Tell her that abortion is wrong and then go to these different web sites that show you pictures of aborted babies , she will change her mine after she sees that. If she is not pregnant, you guys need to sit down and have a talk about all this and maybe she should get on birth control and u should always wear a condom no matter what until u guys r ready to have a baby , Babies are gifts from GOD they are not mistakes.